I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned on the sink.
“He’s an old man. I don’t know how much more time we’ll have with him. Try and meet him somewhere in the middle,” she begged. “Please. What’s a few counseling sessions with Neil? You can’t know if it’s salvageable unless you try to salvage it. And if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out.”
I opened my eyes and stared at her, incredulous. “Did you not just hear me say that he was abusive?”
She threw up her hands. “What is going to happen with a therapist sitting there watching? For heaven’s sake, maybe Neil will learn something. It’s only one hour a week. Give your father what he wants, so he can get over it and move on. Show him that you respect his opinion. He needs that right now.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. She wasn’t asking me to do this for Dad. She was asking for herself. Because Dad would be unbearable if I didn’t. He probably already was.
I couldn’t even respond. There was no point. She was right. My father was my father.
Derek…
He would never be at Thanksgiving again. He wouldn’t be at Christmas. He wouldn’t be at our parents’ birthday parties. He’d probably never even see the house he grew up in again.
I didn’t for one second doubt my dad’s ability to hold on to his hate until the bitter end. He’d had a petty falling-out with his sister fifty years ago and he’d never spoken to her again. Not even on her deathbed.
My heart broke for my brother and my mom. And it broke for me too.
I don’t think I’d truly, truly processed the impossibility of me and Daniel until just now. Not really. I knew fundamentally that it could never work. The distance alone. But now the incompatibility of our lives glared from every angle. From above, below, and beyond.
Daniel wanted to meet my parents, like any boyfriend would. But Daniel could never be at a table with my parents. Not in a million years.
My dad wouldn’t just dislike him. He’d forbid me to be with him. And Mom was too weak to disagree.
Daniel would be my Lola. He couldn’t be my date to the quasquicentennial. He couldn’t come to a family barbeque or the birthday brunch they did for me every year.
Dad couldn’t even know he existed. Dad would never be happy with anyone who wasn’t Neil.
I wasn’t even allowed to be alone. Me choosing to be alone instead of with Neil was an insult to his injury.
Daniel would be under constant attack the second he stepped into my world. And this dinner just proved it. It was hard enough for me to be a part of it, and I belonged here.
So what was the point in dragging it on with Daniel? Getting more attached? What was the point in saying I miss you, like that mattered at all in the long run? Bri was right. I should set him free. Let him find someone else who could be with him the way he deserved. Someone whose parents would be happy to meet him—because these things mattered. They mattered to him and they mattered to me too.
Daniel was wonderful. He just wasn’t wonderful for me.
I didn’t want to go home after dinner. I felt like Neil knew I’d been ambushed and a second ambush was waiting for me when I walked in the house, like he and my dad would have coordinated their attacks.
So I went to Bri’s.
When she opened the door, she opened it talking, even though I hadn’t told her I was coming.
“Uh, I was just texting you, because what the hell is this?”
She held out her phone with a photo of a tabloid magazine on the screen. A picture of Lola Simone and my brother was on the cover with the headline “Secret wedding!”
Well, I guess that’s why Dad was so triggered at dinner…
I rolled my eyes. “At least they used a good picture of him,” I mumbled. “He’ll be happy.”
I edged past her into her living room.
“So it’s true?” she asked. “Was this the NDA thing?”
“Yup,” I said tiredly, flopping onto her sofa.
She looked at the cover again. “Damn. No wonder he fled the country. Your dad probably has a hit out on him. Or her.”
It didn’t even surprise me the story got leaked. With the way Dad had been throwing the Lola news around, it was only a matter of time. At least the happy couple had gotten a few weeks of privacy before it hit the gossip mags.
She tossed her phone on the sofa and sat next to it. “So why are you here? I guess the dinner didn’t go well?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “My dad disowned Derek.”
She blinked at the side of my face. “Like, actually?”