For some reason, that reassures me. Hot and cold, soft and hard, no one does that like he does. It makes me want to reach for him. To wrap myself in his arms and let him heal me.
“It’s not safe for him here,” I say. “It’s not safe for either of us.”
Suddenly, his warmth disappears.
I have a second of confusion before horror slices through the high of my orgasm. What did I just say?
The answer comes to me a moment later: the truth.
I sit up, the fog clearing, panic replacing the pleasure. Leo is already on his feet, fully clothed, staring down at me with murder in his eyes. I’m keenly aware of how naked and vulnerable I am right now. I get to my feet and put distance between us.
“He’s alive,” Leo menaces.
“You tricked me.”
“I asked you a question,” he says. “And you gave me your first honest answer.”
There’s no way out of this. No denial I can make to fix this. I’ve taken it too far. But that won’t stop me from fighting back. “I did what I had to do to keep him safe.”
“Does the she-devil have him?” he sneers.
“Yes.”
He takes a step closer, and I back up against the fireplace. “We’re going to get him back.”
“No.”
“No?” he repeats incredulously. “Why the fuck not?”
“He’s safe with her.”
“Safer than he would be with his own father?”
“Yes.”
Before I can avoid it, he has my arm in a vice-like grip. “Let me fucking go!” I cry out.
He doesn’t listen, of course. He just pulls me forward, and I smash into his chest. My nakedness is no longer the distraction it was at the beginning of the night. He’s consumed with anger now, with rage. I can see it in his eyes: he wants to punish me.
“You made me believe he was dead,” he snarls. “You lied through your fucking teeth.”
“I did what I had to do,” I repeat.
“Why?”
“Do you really have to ask that question?” I ask. “I don’t want my son to be a pawn in a war. You want revenge for your brother, I get it. But I don’t want my baby involved. He deserves better.”
“He was born into it,” Leo snaps. “There’s no escaping the blood in his veins.”
“I don’t believe that,” I say. “I can escape, and I can take my boy with me.”
He twists my arm, and I cry out in pain. “Let’s make one thing clear, Willow. He’s not your son. He’s fucking mine.”
I can feel tears pinch at the back of my eyes. Tears are just proof of your weakness, Anya said again and again those first few months. There’s no use for them.
I had spent so many endless days training the tears out of me. But look how easily he can undo all my hard work.
This is my fault. I allowed him into my life to begin with. I let him play the knight to my damsel in distress. In doing so, I ensured I would never be anything else.
But I have to try, don’t I? If not for myself, then for my son. He’s the only thing I’ve done right in my life. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect him.
I shake my head. “He’s not yours, Leo. You’re nothing more than my sperm donor. That child… I carried him in my stomach for nine months. I fed him at my breasts. I slept by his side and soothed his nightmares until the moment you plucked me from the mountains and caged me here. I am his whole world and he is mine. And I will die before I let you or anyone else use him as some political prop in your schemes.”
“And you think your mother is different from me?” he barks. “From Belov? From Semyon?”
“She made me a promise.”
“What promise is that?”
“That my son would have the life I choose for him.”
He snorts. “And you believed her?”
I consider lying, but I decide not to in the end. “No. I don’t trust anyone. But I needed her protection at the time, and I needed her resources. I will take what I can until I can find a way for us to disappear.”
He brings his face to mine and speaks through his teeth. “It won’t matter where you go or how completely you disappear, Willow. I will always find you.”
“You can’t have him!”
He twists my hand again. As painful as it is, I refuse to cry out. “Hurt me all you want,” I hiss, blinking the tears out of my eyes. “I won’t let you hurt him.”
“What makes you think that’s my intention?”