“Ian is looking into the sheriff,” he said.
I grabbed two plates from the cabinet and set them on the island. “Ian’s here?”
Logan took a seat on one of the barstools and watched as I fixed two sandwiches. “He’s around.” That was a vague answer. “Tell me more about the class you help teach.”
Letting go of my irritation, I explained what it was. Once the sandwiches were ready, I handed one to him. As we ate, we sort of caught up. I talked a little about the guys and therapy. I didn’t ask about Mr. X. Right now, I didn’t care to know anything. I couldn’t take it on with everything else.
“Dr. Bolton plans to teach me new ways to handle things that could trigger an episode. I figured I could test out whatever she teaches me with a scary movie,” I said. “She also wants me to continue running. She said that if I use running the right way, it’ll help me.”
I caught him staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I’m not used to seeing you excited about therapy. You used to hate it.”
“I want control of my life again. In order to achieve that, I need this to work.”
“Would your sudden change of heart about therapy have to do with the boys next door?” he asked.
“They encouraged me to go back,” I admitted.
“Huh,” he said and finished off his sandwich.
I scooped up my plate and carried it over to the sink. “What?”
He also brought his plate to the sink. “I’d like to see this gym and maybe sit in on your class?”
“It’s for women.”
He leaned a hip against the counter. “I won't participate. I was thinking I could watch from the back.”
I had to clear it with Keelan first, but I didn’t see a reason why it wouldn’t be alright, and if by chance it wasn’t, he could spend the hour working out in the rest of the gym. “Let me text Keelan.”
As we pulled up to Desert Stone, I caught Logan staring at me again. “Cheese and rice, just spit it out and stop being creepy.”
“I’m just surprised you’re not wearing a sweatshirt and you’re wearing something so revealing,” he said.
I parked the car and glanced down at my outfit. I was wearing white athletic leggings with a matching racerback top. I had a tiny bit of cleavage showing, but by revealing, I believed he was talking about my scars. The last time he’d seen me, I’d always worn sweatshirts and made sure I hadn’t left the house unless every scar had been covered. Today, I had pretty much all my scars on display except for the ones on my stomach.
“The staring doesn’t bother me as much as it used to,” I said, running a finger over the scar on my inner arm. “Some days, I forget they are there. On days like today, when I have a class, I’m very aware I have them. A lot of the women in this class have been through terrible things. By having my scars out for them to see, I think it reassures them they aren’t alone.”
“What about you?” he asked. “Do you get anything out of teaching them?”
“I like that what I help teach them could save them one day.” I looked at the other end of the lot, where I had been attacked by Jacob. “When you made me train in Alaska, for the longest time I didn’t see the point.”
He huffed a laugh. “I remember. You were a huge pain in the ass about it.”
“You weren’t the easiest teacher, either.” My mind drifted to the time he’d dropped me off in the middle of the forest with only a knife. He’d told me he’d give me a ten-minute head start to find my way back home as he had loaded his paintball gun. “If I shoot you in the heart or head, you lose and we’ll do this again tomorrow. You’re allowed four shots anywhere else on the body. If I get you more than four times, you lose and we’re back here tomorrow,” he had said to me. It had taken me four fails to realize the point for that particular training exercise and how to win. I’d made the mistake of trying to outrun him, always heading in the same direction back to the cabin, and because of that, he’d always cut me off. On my fifth try, I’d taken my head start to cover my tracks and hide. After Logan had passed, thinking I was trying to outrun him to the cabin again, I walked back to his truck. When I saw that he’d left the keys inside, I’d realized what he had been trying to teach me. A few hours later, after he’d walked all the way home through the forest, he had come inside and smiled at me. “Good job, Shi,” he had said. “Never take the obvious road. It’s why X caught you every time you tried to escape through the front door. You need to teach your mind to slow down when you’re in danger and think.”