He vehemently shakes his head. “Nope. I haven’t so much as looked at another woman. The only woman I want is you.” He rubs the back of his head. “With Saffron, it was only one time,” he rushes to assure me. “In Mexico, when those pictures were taken. I was high and drunk, and I have no recollection of it. All I know is I woke up beside her, and it was obvious what we’d done.”
Tears pool in his eyes. “I threw up the second I realized the truth and what it meant for us. That fucking bitch laughed. She stood over me while I puked my guts up in the toilet, laughing and smiling while snorting a line.” Anger flares in his eyes. “She had the audacity to assume we would be together after that, but I made it abundantly clear I would never have fucked her if I’d been sober and I wanted her nowhere near me. I went to the studio and told them I would walk if they didn’t keep her away from me when we weren’t filming. I told them the only way I’d promote Sweet Retribution was if she was nowhere near me.”
That matches what Audrey told me a few months ago, and I know he’s telling me the truth. It’s written all over his face. The knowledge he only fucked her once helps a lot. Given the circumstances, the fact we were broken up, and I was already with Dillon means I can’t hold it over him. It wouldn’t be fair to do that to him.
“They agreed, and that pissed her off,” he continues. “I found out afterwards she had staged the whole thing. Had a photographer hiding close by to take the money shot. She timed it perfectly to ruin your birthday. I’m so sorry.”
“What a pity you hadn’t done that the first time it was obvious she was interfering.” There is no heat behind my words, and though it still hurts, especially that public kiss shared around the world, I have learned to deal with it. Sheila, my therapist in Ireland, helped me to process all my feelings, and I’ve come to accept what has happened. I will never forget it or how it made me feel, but I can discuss it now and not want to scream in a fit of rage.
“I should have. Everything would’ve been different if I hadn’t been so weak. So stupid. I failed myself as much as I failed you.” He twirls a lock of my hair around his finger, and fierce determination washes over his face. “I won’t ever fail you again, Viv. If you give me one more chance, I will prove to you I’m worthy of it.”
62
I can see he really means that, but I can’t just accept his word for it. Reeve has a long way to go before he proves himself to me, and that’s if I even want that. I am so confused right now. My head is a complete mess over two different guys, and I don’t know whether I am coming or going. Jet lag isn’t helping either. I deliberately don’t respond to his statement. “You have changed,” I murmur, seeing him in a slightly different light.
“I’ve worked hard these past few months to right my wrongs and focus on the things that matter. In case it’s not clear, that means you first and then my career. I’ve spent so long trying to win my dad’s affection I didn’t realize I was taking yours for granted. Your parents too. Losing all of you was the wake-up call I needed to pull my head out of my ass. Fuck my dad. I’m done trying to please him. Ironically, he’s actually made more of an effort, but it’s too little, too late for me.”
The car pulls into the underground parking lot of a low-rise apartment building, and I frown as I look out of the window. “Where are we?”
“My apartment in Pacific Palisades.”
“You own an apartment?”
He nods. “It’s only a stopgap. I found a couple of perfect sites to build our home, but I wouldn’t dream of buying anything without your involvement.”
I squirm on the seat. This is too much heavy. “Reeve…”
He flashes me a boyish smile and my heart thump-thumps behind my chest cavity. “I know I’m probably coming on too strong. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that, but I’m going to win you back, Viv. I’m not giving up.” His smile fades a little. “Not even if you tell me that Irish guy has a fighting chance.”
Pain eviscerates my heart and punches me in the lungs, and I struggle to breathe. For a while there, I’d actually managed to forget about Dillon.
“Fuck.” Reeve gently grips my arms. “I’ve got you, Viv. Breathe in and out. Nice and slow.” He breathes with me until I’ve regained my composure. His eyes lower to my collarbone, and his face pales. “Did he buy you that?” he asks, and I glance down, only now realizing my fingers are stroking my Claddagh necklace. I nod, and he squeezes his eyes shut.