“It’s okay, baby.” He strokes my hair as his other arm bands tight around my body, keeping me flush to his chest. “I’m here now, and I’m going to make everything better.” He instructs the driver to leave, and the privacy screen goes up. “I know you’re not in the mood for talking, but can you just listen?” I nod against his chest. “I need you to know I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I wanted to hop on a plane to Ireland at least once a week, but I promised I’d give you space to work through things, and I wanted to keep my word.”
A gnarly sort of sound escapes my mouth, and I jerk out of his hold. “This is all sounding far too familiar and not in a good way.”
“You are right, but things are different now. I’m me again, Viv.” Taking my hand, he threads our fingers together, and fiery tingles shoot up my arm. His touch still affects me, but I’m not surprised. It’s not like I ever fell out of love with him. It would’ve been so much easier if I had, but I know I will love Reeve Lancaster all my life.
Doesn’t mean we’ll be together though.
“What does that mean?”
He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. “You were right about everything, and I should have believed you. You have always had my back, and instead of letting you in, I shut you out. I’m disgusted with myself.” He shakes his head, sighing. “I made a lot of bad decisions. I chose to believe the wrong people and it cost me the most precious thing in the world—you. I’m not excusing my behavior. Not at all. I’m just trying to explain how I ended up in such a bad place. At the start, being away from you unsettled me more than I could have imagined. I was overwhelmed with everything expected of me on set and really feeling my age. The other actors were all older and more experienced in movies and life. I felt lost and young, and I was definitely out of my comfort zone. Bianca and Cassidy were pushing me to break up with you, and the stress of that combined with the movie responsibility and the long hours took its toll. Saffron—”
I growl at the mention of her name. It’s an automatic reaction, one I can’t control.
“I know you hate her with good reason. I hate her too, but I need to tell you everything. You need to know it all, and I can’t not mention her name.”
“Fine.” I clip the word out because I want to hear what he has to say. I’m stronger and wiser now, and I won’t give her the power she once held over me.
“She suggested I pop a few uppers. She said it was how everyone coped with long shifts on set. She said everyone was doing it. I’d seen the guys snorting coke, so I stupidly believed her.” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips. “I hid the true extent of my drug use from you because I was embarrassed. I had always been anti-drugs, as you know. It was a slippery slope, and I was plunging headfirst down it. I know now that I should have confided everything to you, but I didn’t want to see the disappointment in your eyes. I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted Dad to be proud of me.”
He briefly closes his eyes. “I should have gone to your mom and sought her advice before signing that new contract, but I was already fucked up from pills and coke and Saffron was mouthing in my ear, saying fake relationships were the norm and if you loved me you wouldn’t have a problem with it.”
I lean my head back against the headrest, wondering if my parents know any hitmen. I would really love to put a bullet between that conniving bitch’s eyes.
“I’m doing all the things I should have done from the start,” he continues before I can question him on what exactly has gone on between him and his costar. Or ex-costar now, I suppose. “I will explain everything I’ve discovered back at my place. For now, I need you to know I’m done with letting assholes manipulate me. I’ve cut ties with Bianca. I have a new supportive team around me who genuinely cares about me and my best interests. I’ve signed with Margaret, and Edwin Chambers is my publicist. I pulled out of the movie I was due to film this summer so I could get to the bottom of things and make amends,” he cryptically adds.
“What about her? I need to know what happened, and I don’t want you holding anything back. This is your only chance to fess up, Reeve. You’re lucky I’m even giving you a chance to explain.”
“I know that, Viv, and I’m grateful.”
“Have you fucked her?”
Slowly, he nods, and I close my eyes as pain jumps up and slaps me across the face. “Have you fucked other women since we broke up?” I ask, forcing my eyes open. I need to look at him when he says this to know if he’s telling me the truth.