Loved. In love.
She was mine.
“I just want to be here for her, Noah, and I want her to know that I… that I am here if she decides she—” He cuts himself off.
“How you going to be half the man she needs, if you can’t even admit what you want out loud?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have to say anything to you.”
“No, just keep pretending to be the guy she begged you to be months ago and see how that works out for you.”
“Do you think I don’t know that I fucked up?” he shouts. “Because I do, all right. I do, but I can’t walk away now. For months, I’ve watched for some sort of sign that what we did was right, that we are what’s right, and I can’t ignore the fact that this is it. This is the most straightforward sign if I’ve ever seen one.”
A humorless laugh leaves me, and I try to swallow beyond the knot in my chest. “A sign.” I nod. “You’ve been sitting around for months, years even, waiting for someone or something to come along and convince you she’s worth it?”
Again, he looks away, but I push closer, getting into his face, and finally, he brings his eyes back to mine.
“I’ve known that girl was worth the world since the moment I met her.” I blink hard, willing myself not to lose it while staring into the eyes of the asshole trying to steal my world from under me.
Mason’s hand falls onto my shoulder, but I jerk myself free, spin and begin to walk away, but I only make it a single footstep.
“She loved me once, Noah… she could again. Maybe you should start considering that.”
Ice spreads through my stomach.
I whip around so fast I feel sick, dizzy, but my knuckles crack across his nose, and the pain it creates is welcomed.
“Fuck!” Chase touches his face, blood pouring down it.
Mason hangs his head, and Brady looks away, neither says a word, because really, what can they say?
This was a long time coming, and they know it.
Needing to get away, and quickly, I take the steps two at a time, dragging myself around the property so they can no longer see me.
My body is shaking in cruel punishment. A viscous ache working its way up my throat, and it wins out.
I stumble toward the trash can in the corner, my stomach draining into the black garbage bag, taking the little bit of hope last night brought with it.
Maybe I’m making a mistake.
Maybe this is the wrong way to do this.
Maybe I need to go against what she asked.
Maybe I should hang my hat and walk away.
Chapter 45
Arianna
* * *
Rushing down the stairs, I jog out front, quickly slipping into my mom’s car.
“Sorry.” I wipe the rain from my forehead and buckle up. “Mia had me pinned up on a pedestal longer than expected, trying to get my dress to fit right.”
“When is this dance?” She pulls onto the street.
“Mom.” I laugh. “It’s not high school. “It’s not like prom. It’s basically an end of season award ceremony.”
“That is set for formal wear and in a rented-out hall from what I heard.”
“True.” I smile, looking at her. “Anyway, yeah. It’s next Wednesday.”
“Hm,” my mom muses, her eyes shifting toward me.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Mom…” I turn in my seat, eyeing her.
“Nothing, sweetie.” She pats my leg. “It’s just soon, is all, and school begins the following week, right?”
“Yep. The twenty-seventh is the first day back. Chase is taking me to see my dorm a couple days before. It’s so weird that I have no idea what it looks like, but I lived there for an entire semester.”
We pull into the parking lot of the hospital for my follow-up with the behavioral neurologist. Parking in front of the building, she turns to me. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Chase.”
Heat works its way up my neck, and I shrug.
She tips her head, a tenderness in her gaze. “How’s that going?”
“It’s going.” A low chuckle leaves me. “We’re having fun. Making up for what I assume was lost time. He’s constantly asking me to go with him places, even if it’s just down the beach. At first, it made me anxious, but now it’s, I don’t know…” I trail off, a small swirl stirring in my stomach.
“Exciting?” she whispers.
A smile curves my lips, and I look to her, the creases around her eyes deepening, but she smiles through what troubles her, her hand coming out to touch my cheek.