I want to scream, to cry. I want to run away.
But instead, I do what I’ve been doing for the last several weeks.
I push it away, bury it with a smile, and when he lifts from his seat, offering me his hand, I shake it, pacing myself as I walk out the door, wishing I never walked through it.
As promised, my mom is waiting just outside the building, and as I slip inside the front seat, saying not a word, my mother reads it on my face.
Her tears are as instant as mine, and when I turn away, she faces forward.
I zone out, and the next thing I know, we’re pulling up to the beach house, my dad’s truck parked behind Chase’s in the driveway.
When I don’t get out, my mom asks, “Want to come back to our condo?”
Shaking my head, I bite at the inside of my cheek and jump out.
I head inside, my movements jerky, eyes watery, and cheeks red.
Everyone’s sitting in the living room watching TV, but the moment they set eyes on me, it’s paused.
My dad’s eyes fly to my mom, and Mason frowns, leaning forward.
Chase stands, starts toward me, but I throw my hands up, toss my purse to the floor and keep walking.
I need… I need…
What the fuck do you need, Ari? Goddamn it!
I’m out the back door and running for the beach in seconds.
The wind whips my face, burning my skin, but I don’t care. I keep running.
About a half mile down the beach, my throat swells, my tears choking me, and I growl, swiping them away with angry movements.
I jerk to a stop and something has me spinning around, looking forward, and that’s when I see him.
Noah.
My shoulders fall, and as if I spoke his name aloud, he turns, spotting me in an instant.
He frowns, grips the edge of the dock his legs are dangling over, but he doesn’t move when something tells me he wants to.
Before I realize it, I’m four feet from him, and he’s looking up at me.
“I don’t feel like talking right now.” I’m not sure why I say it when I’m the one who walked over, but that’s what comes out.
Noah nods, his brows nearly touching in the middle. “Talking’s overrated.”
A chuckle slips from me, and I sniffle, catching the small twitch of his lips.
Folding my toes in my shoes, I hold a hand out. “We could… not talk together?”
His tongue comes out, running across his lips, and a heaviness settles over me as I wait for his response, but I’m not sure why, because when he nods again, it’s as if I knew what his answer would be before he made it.
Something tells me I did.
Noah
* * *
Ari stares down at me, a small smile on her lips, her hand outstretched and eyes red-rimmed. I knew the second I saw her, she was upset, that she’d been crying, but I also knew she wasn’t in the mood to share. She needs time to herself to process her thoughts, just like me.
So, I take her extended hand.
The moment my palm touches hers, it’s as if a needle pricks our skin, and she jolts from the small shock.
A laugh slips from her, and I can’t help but grin as I leap to my feet.
Once standing, I turn, so my body is facing the same direction as hers, and this time, offer her my hand. It’s with a coy smile that she grabs hold.
Her head tips back the slightest bit, so she can see me fully, and slowly, very slowly, a softness falls over her. Her eyes roam along my face, her fingers twitching in mine, and before she realizes, before she grows anxious and pulls away in confusion, as she’s done every other time she allows herself to be close to me, I nod.
“Let’s get to that ‘not talking’ then, huh?”
Ari smiles and leads us down the long dock, but instead of walking to the end, where the wood meets the sand, she turns us halfway.
We leap over the side, the ground not three feet from us.
The second we touch the sand, she looks to me and the glimmer in her brown eyes has my muscles flexing.
I quickly let her go, burying my hand in my hoodie pocket, and she does the same.
With nothing but the sound of the ocean around us, she leads us farther down the coastline, to a boat ramp about a mile away.
She bends and begins untying a two-person paddle boat.
“Should I be on the lookout?”
Over her shoulder, she throws me a smile, and I want to drop to my knees beside her.
“It’s Lolli’s, she won’t mind.”
I nod, jerking closer when she starts to climb in, but she doesn’t need my help.
She’s done this a million times.
I hop in beside her, and off we go, paddling out into open ocean but sticking close to the land.