“Baby, I’m telling you, I see you. I want to be with you.”
“Yes, but last night, you didn’t. That’s where I’m struggling, because in my mind, no matter what you’re going through in life, your partner in life should be there, by your side, through thick and thin. You . . . you left me out in the cold last night, naked and shamed. I understand that wasn’t your intention, but given my past insecurities, I’m trying to mentally deal with the rejection. So, please, just give me that time.”
Fuck.
I want to tell her I love her.
That I’ve never been happier than when she’s in my arms.
That I don’t want to go another day without making her mine.
But from the distant look in her eyes, I know my words will mean nothing right now.
Absolutely nothing.
So, I do the one thing I don’t want to fucking do, I take a step back and pull on the back of my neck as I say, “Okay, take your time. But just know, whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here, waiting for you. I’m not going anywhere, Kelsey. You can push me away as much as you want, but I’ll keep coming back.”
And with that, she slips out of the room and back to the reception. Needing a goddamn moment, I take a seat on one of the couches in the room and rest my elbows on my knees before driving my hands through my hair.
Fuck . . .
“How did it go?” Breaker asks as he joins me at the bar. I have a water in my hand, not bothering with drowning my sorrows, but staying close to the alcohol in case I change my mind.
“How did what go?” I snap at him, keeping my voice low. “Oh, you mean my conversation with Kelsey? Fucking great, can’t you tell? We’re happily in love as we speak.”
“I’m sensing a heavy dose of sarcasm.”
“No shit, how could you even tell?”
“Well, for one thing, you’re sporting one of the most intense scowls I’ve ever seen. The wedding planner actually asked me if I had the magic to fix your face. Secondly, Kelsey, from what I’ve seen, has avoided you all night. Which, you know, seems suspicious since you two were all over one another at the rehearsal party last night, before the whole email thing went down. So, from that evidence, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to conclude that you’re being sarcastic.”
I bring my glass to my lips and stare at the dance floor, where Kelsey is dancing with Lottie and their mom to Fireball by Pitbull. “I hate you, you know that?”
“Why do you hate me? I’m pretty sure I helped save your ass this morning.”
“Yeah, what great that did. She still won’t fucking talk to me.”
“Seems like a ‘you’ issue.”
Slowly, I turn my head to face him. He awkwardly smiles and shrugs. “Not the right thing to say?”
“Not even a little.”
“Maybe I should work on my people skills.”
“Maybe you should just leave me the fuck alone.”
“Why is the wedding planner sending me over here to tell you to fix your face?” Huxley asks in a whisper as he walks up to us.
“Jesus, tell the wedding planner to fix her own face and leave me the fuck alone.”
“Need I remind you it’s my wedding day?” Huxley asks in a tone so low, that I barely hear him.
“Is it?” I ask. “Huh, is that why we’re in these suits? Well, fuck, got to tell you, man, the shrimp was fucking terrible. Should’ve taste-tested.”
I can feel the wrath of Huxley ready to explode, but before it can, Breaker pushes against my chest, moving me away, and calls over his shoulder, “I’ll take care of it.”
“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” I say as he ushers me to a table at the far back. We both take a seat. “What are you going to say to me? Offer some lecture? Guess what? I don’t need to hear it from my little brother, who clearly has no idea what it’s like to fall in love.”
“I’m not going to lecture you. I just want to ask you how you are.”
“Not good, man, isn’t that obvious?”
“It is. What can I do to help? Want me to talk to her? I can tell her everything that happened, back you up.”
I shake my head as I slouch in my chair. “No, she fucking believes it all.”
“Then what’s the problem?” he asks.
“The problem is, in my sheer panic last night, I fucked up. She was vulnerable, and I was too caught up in my own head, worried I was going to lose her. I didn’t give her the comfort she needed.”