I tell her I抣l make the call but promise nothing beyond that. I can抰 represent her formally without getting the firm抯 approval, and this is definitely not the time to get caught defying Fields. I shouldn抰 even be placing the call, but what am I supposed to do梖orce some teenage girl to remain locked up without reason because I抦 scared of my boss?
We finish our meeting and I head to the front door. It抯 only as I reach for my purse that I notice the envelopes on the front table addressed to Santa.
Victoria has almost nothing left after she pays rent and buys groceries. I wonder how the hell she manages gifts too.
揟hey did it at church,?she says, shaking her head. 揑 wish they抎 stop encouraging my kids to expect more than they抮e gonna get.?
揑 can mail them for you,?I offer.
She shrugs. 揥on抰 make a difference. I think the post office just throws them out.?
I grab the envelopes anyway, tucking them into my purse.
When I reach the car, I check Drew抯 social media again, though I really shouldn抰， and find she抯 posted a photo from the night before. There are ten of them sitting at a long table in what appears to be a crowded bar: her and her husband, his friend Hayes and Hayes抯 wife, Tali, two men who seem to be a couple…and, at the very end, Ben, with his arm around Juliet Cantrell, a gorgeous singer I抳e seen in Drew抯 photos before. She抯 tucked into his side, her hand resting on his chest.
The caption reads Three bottles of wine later卆nd @julescantrell was already having way too much fun BEFORE the wine arrived.
My stomach starts to fall. He抯 never even mentioned her, but why would he? It抯 not like he owes me an explanation. We抮e not even a couple.
I start to scroll back through Drew抯 feed, driven by terror and also certainty: I don抰 know what I抦 looking for, but I抣l know when I find it.
And then I do. It抯 a picture from Drew抯 wedding梙er and her husband slow dancing, and behind them, standing just as close, and looking into each other抯 eyes桞en and Juliet.
With shaking hands, I turn the phone facedown on my lap, breathing through my nose. My eyes sting and I fight it, hands clenching into fists.
I knew this moment would come. I did. And I抳e dreaded its arrival every day since this thing with Ben began. As hard as it is, as sick as I feel right now, at least I get to stop waiting for it梩he moment is here. Now I just have to put the pain梐nd him梚nto my past, where they belong.
I text Keeley and tell her I抦 coming to the party after all.
The rain has ended by the time I reach the mansion. The bass is thumping, a strobe light is flashing, and scantily clad girls are dancing by the pool and drinking something too blue to be natural.
揧ou made it!?Keeley cries, throwing her arms around me. I suspect she抯 had plenty of the blue drink, and that it抯 probably extremely strong.
One hour later, I抳e had two of them myself and Keeley is insisting I have a third. I showed her the pictures of him and Juliet梥he was already inclined to think the worst of him, thanks to me, and that sealed his fate. She抯 now determined to get me laid, while I抦 simply determined to become more numb than I am.
揧our phone is ringing,?says a girl on the other end of the hot tub, grabbing it from the table behind her and handing it to me.
The phone is no longer ringing by the time I take it. The screen says I have two missed calls from Ben.
揑gnore him,?says Keeley. 揘o, wait. Don抰 ignore him. Let抯 video call good ol?Ben.?Her face stretches into an absolutely evil smile as she grabs the phone from me.
揥hat are you doing??I demand. Talking to him is not a part of the plan. Not talking to him, actually, is my entire plan at present.
揋iving him a taste of his own medicine,?she replies, handing me my phone just as Ben抯 face appears on screen. For a moment I抦 struck by how much I miss him. How much it hurts that he didn抰 invite me on this trip, that he took someone else instead. I want to beg him to explain, but even drunk, I抦 ashamed of the impulse. He owes me nothing, and even if he did卛t would be pathetic.
He frowns, two matching furrows between his brows. 揥here are you??he demands, sounding a little pissed. Keeley just to my left, giggles.
揂t a party,?I reply, civil and nothing more. 揝ome gamer抯 mansion.?
Keeley leans into the frame, resting her chin on my shoulder. 揅ommander Shane,?she brags, as if he抯 going to be impressed by this or even know who the fuck Commander Shane is.
揑 thought you said it was a little get-together.?And now there抯 no mistaking how irate he is. 揂nd why the fuck are you wearing a bikini??
揚lans change, Ben!?Keeley shouts helpfully, before she slides away.
I take a sip of the blue drink someone抯 put in my hand. 揑t抯 a pool party, obviously.?