“How did you find out?”
I spill all the details I know up until this point. Claire listens to every word, only interrupting to ask for clarifications when she’s confused.
She clasps her hands together. “Well, this isn’t the worst news.”
“How could you even say that? He lied!” I grab a pillow and hold it to my chest.
“Sure. I’m not excusing that. But at least now you don’t have to feel guilty about being interested in both of them.”
“That’s because I’m not interested in either of them anymore.”
“Well, shit. Of course not. He really screwed up.”
“I thought… He seemed—I mean…” I can’t find the words to describe how I feel. The other day, I wondered if Rowan could be someone I could see myself falling in love with. But after this, I don’t know how he expects me to forgive him. Because if he could lie to my face for months, what’s to say he won’t lie to me whenever it conveniences him? I was dumb enough to not question him to begin with.
A liar is a liar, no matter what excuse they have. And honestly, I can’t imagine anything is worth deceiving me for as long as he did.
28
Rowan
Am I cynical? Yes.
But afraid? Absolutely not.
I’ll prove it to Zahra. I’m willing to put myself out there and be rejected if it shows her I don’t need to hide behind a mask. The person I was around her is the same guy I am today, and I’ll make sure she doesn’t have a reason to doubt me. She’s the first person I let down some of my walls for. Not even my brothers know me like she does, so I’m not about to walk away because she challenged me.
I sigh. Tonight didn’t go close to plan at all. The way Zahra reacted to my hidden identity was anything but ideal. I might have been too optimistic about the potential outcome, expecting her to forgive me because she understood where I was coming from. But I didn’t have a real chance to explain my past and why I would be hesitant to begin with. And honestly, there’s a part of me that wonders if it’s even worth exposing myself like that at the risk of Zahra not forgiving me.
I need to regroup and plan what to do next. Instead of working until late, I wrap up for the night and go home to work out, take a shower, and eat a quick dinner. By the time I drop onto my bed, it’s a quarter past midnight.
I pull out my phone and check my emails. The typical pattern I’ve fallen back into tonight feels emptier than usual. I’ve gotten used to Zahra’s incessant texting and our bedtime conversations about everything under the sun.
I place my phone on my nightstand and turn on the news, hoping to bore myself to sleep.
My phone vibrates, making my heart pound faster in my chest in response. Did Zahra regret what she said in my office?
I swipe my phone off my nightstand. A heavy weight presses against my chest at the message from the group chat I share with my brothers.
Declan: Father received his own letter. It’s official.
Cal follows up with a bunch of curse words.
Shit. I had a feeling he received something, so the news doesn’t surprise me as much as it should. I’m more curious about what the letter said because my father’s relationship with Grandpa had been strained since Mom died. The only reason Father took over as CEO after Grandpa’s accident was because Declan was still too young according to Grandpa’s will.
Me: Did you find out what it said?
Declan: Nothing to report yet. We should keep tabs on anything he does that we consider out of character for him.
Cal: Do you want the short or long list?