“I will grant you Nero,” Gaius said, “and Caligula. And there are those in Rome who feel that Domitian in his hubris has gone too far. When that happens, those who made a man Emperor have the right to replace him.” And soon, he thought, shivering. September was passing quickly.
“You are very proud of being a Roman,” she said then. “I do not know very much about my mother’s family and have always wondered what it would have been like to be raised that way. Were you born in Rome?”
He grinned at her. “Indeed not; I am half British, just as you are. My mother was a royal woman of the Silures. She died when I was very young, bearing my little sister.”
“Ah, how sad for you.” Her eyes suddenly overflowed; he had not noticed that they were so blue. “What did you do then?”
“I stayed with my father,” Gaius told her. “I was his only son, so he had me well educated by tutors, and taught to read Latin and Greek; then I went into the Legions. There is really nothing more to tell.”
“And were there no women in your life?”
He could see her fighting this purely worldly curiosity; but he thought it a good sign that she wanted to know.
“My father arranged my marriage with Julia when I was very young,” he said carefully. One day she would have to know about Eilan and their son, but not yet. “And as you may know, my wife has taken a vow of chastity, which means I am alone,” he said sadly. Outside, the thunder crashed.
She said, “I should not say this, and I am certain Father Petros would not approve, but that seems not fair dealing. I know that a vow of chastity is supposed to be the best of all ways to live, but when she has pledged herself to you—”
“If you were married to me, would you take such a vow?”
She flushed again, but said seriously, “I would not. The learned Paulus wrote that those who were married should continue in that state, and those who were not married should not marry.”
“If I had married you, you would have taken your vows more seriously than Julia,” he said softly.
“I could never be untrue to a vow to you.”
“And you have not taken vows in the Forest House?” She was still looking at the floor, but Gaius moved a little closer, feeling the blood run faster beneath his skin.
“I have not,” she said. “They have all been very kind to me, and asked very little, but I cannot serve their Goddess without giving up my Roman heritage. I will have to decide soon.”
“There is another alternative.” His voice grew hoarse as he took in the sweet scent of her hair, but he kept it low. “Julia has forfeited her rights as my wife by her vow of chastity, and we were married by Roman, not by Christian rites. I would marry you, Senara—or Valeria, as your mother called you. Your uncle Valerius is a good man; he would be happy if I were to take you away from here.”
He heard her breath catch. She was like some bright bird hovering almost within reach of his hand, like Eilan when she came to him at Beltane, so many years ago. But Eilan and Julia had rejected him; they were shadows, banished by the living reality of this girl who stood so close to him now.
“If only it could be,” she whispered. “Where would we go?”
“To Londinium, or even to Rome. Great changes are coming. I can tell you no more, but there is nothing we might not do, together, if you would come with me!”
Not to touch her then seemed the hardest thing he had ever done, for he was mad now with uncertainty and need. But he knew that if he did he would lose her. Senara looked up and he faced her, letting the ardor that filled him glow in his eyes.
She did not flee. Trembling, she said softly, “I wish I knew what to do.”
Be mine, he said silently. Help me to raise my son! Surely, she would accept Gawen. That was why he needed her, after all, and not some wealthy Roman maiden who would despise Gawen’s British blood. It was for the sake of the boy…