Gods, I did know the answer. A tremor coursed through me. I would’ve done anything. Because I loved him. Because he was mine, and I was his. My other half. A part of me, even though I hadn’t spoken his name in many weeks. I barely allowed myself to even think it because it hurt.
But his name was love.
It was power and strength.
It would never break me.
Casteel. A shattered breath left me. Casteel. I made myself say it over and over in my mind. Casteel Hawkethrone Da’Neer. My chest felt as if a bolt were tearing through it all over again, but I said his name to myself until it no longer made me want to scream. Until I could say, “Casteel isn’t lost to us.”
“No. He’s not,” Kieran agreed, slipping his hand away from mine.
Slowly, I opened my fist. His…Casteel’s ring rested in my palm, strong and beautiful. There wasn’t a trace of blood on it. Either Emil or Perry had wiped it clean when they took it from the box. “What did they do with the…？” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
“It’s up to you.” Kieran’s voice was hoarse. “You can burn or bury it. Or one of us can. You don’t ever have to see it again. You don’t need to, Poppy. There’s no reason to.”
I didn’t want to see it again. Forcing myself to do so did nothing but inflict damage. Glancing up at Kieran, I sensed that he had his emotions locked down once more. I knew he did it so it wouldn’t add to what I was feeling.
Kieran was…he was too good.
“Burn it,” I forced myself to say. “But I don’t want you to do it. I don’t want you anywhere near it.”
He inhaled sharply and nodded.
I squeezed the ring. Always and forever. “Was there anything else in the box?”
“A card.”
“Did you have a chance to see it?”
“Only briefly.”
“What did—？” My stomach twisted with nausea. “What did it say?”
“It said that she was sorry to have caused you any pain,” he told me.
There was something so, so wrong with her. But at once, I knew what I needed to do. I knew what had to come next.
Because I could no longer wait.
When I took my next breath, it was easier. “We have plans—ones that are important to Solis and Atlantia.” The next words were hard to speak, even though they were true. “Plans that are bigger than…Casteel and me.”
Kieran said nothing, but I knew he agreed. Even if Casteel stood beside me now, there would still be the Blood Crown. The Rites would continue. Children would be stripped away from their families, either to Ascend or become nothing more than cattle to the Ascended. Innocent people would still be murdered. Atlantia would still run out of land and resources.
All of this was bigger than us.
The Blood Crown had to be destroyed.
I brought the ring close to my chest as I lifted my stare to Kieran. “But Casteel is more important to me. I know that’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t think that, let alone say it out loud, but it’s the truth.”
Kieran said nothing, but he’d gone completely still.
“She’s not going to release him.” A breeze caught the loosened strands of my hair, tossing them across my face. “She will hurt him again.” Anger flared inside me, threatening to ignite once more. “You know that she could be doing anything to him right now. You know what it did to him last time.”
His jaw clenched. “I do.”
“I can’t let her have him for weeks and months. And that’s how long it will take for us to take the Atlantian armies across Solis. Casteel doesn’t have that kind of time. We don’t have that kind of time.”
Kieran stared down at me. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to go to Carsodonia.”
“After we take Oak Ambler,” I amended. “The Blood Crown needs to be destroyed, and we need to do it the right way. I need to be here to convince Valyn and the generals that our plan is the right one. I need to be here to see that through.”
“And then?”
“And then I will go to Carsodonia, and you will lead the armies to the other cities.”
His pale blue eyes hardened. “And if you’re captured in the process?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’ll be fine. Isbeth doesn’t want me dead,” I reasoned. “If that was what she wanted, she had ample opportunity to do so. She…she needs me if she seeks to control Atlantia. This is what I need to do.”