The longer she went without answering, the more Peggy withdrew, growing quiet and staring out into the parking lot without her signature smile. 揑 guess that抯 a no.?
揑t抯 not a no,?Rita rushed to say. 揧ou抳e just had more time to think about it than me. Like卆 whole three days厰
揥ell, there抯 a roundabout way of saying I抦 impulsive.?
Rita stopped outside Aaron and Belmont抯 door, tugging her sister to a stop before she could knock. 揑t抯 a great fucking idea, Peggy, just let me think.?The inside of her throat felt itchy. 揑抦 just匢抦 having a hard time thinking past tonight. Once we get back on the road, things will be different.?
Peggy抯 gaze was suddenly wiser than Rita had ever seen it. 揧ou really believe that, don抰 you??
Behind Peggy, the door swung open to reveal Aaron. The swelling in his cheek had gone down, along with a hint of his outward ego, it seemed, after last night. He gave Rita a brisk nod before ruffling Peggy抯 hair. 揥hat are you two squawking about out here??
揘othing,?Peggy chirped. 揓ust getting back on the road.?
Aaron stepped aside, signaling they should enter his room. 揧eah. I guess we抳e all been thinking about it.?
Rita stepped across the threshold, aware that it was her first time in Aaron and Belmont抯 room, while Peggy had probably been in there countless times. Both sides of the space were meticulously clean, although Belmont抯 was tidy to the point of not even looking slept in. Maybe the divide between the two brothers was invisible, but it was there in the air, hanging down, like jungle vines. Just another reminder to Rita how much she had left to find out about her family. What had Belmont and Aaron been avoiding speaking about for so long?
揇o you have a game plan for Iowa??Rita asked, sitting down on the corner of Belmont抯 bed. 揃esides show up and be charming??
Aaron smirked while uncapping a bottle of water. 揟hat抯 been enough to work for me in the past.?He gulped a sip. 揃ut, yeah. Not anymore. Not after San Diego.?
Peggy flopped down beside Rita. 揧ou going to tell us what happened??
揘ope. Although you抣l find out once we hit Iowa. Shit tends to follow you around in politics.?He shifted in his loafers. 揑抣l be glad to have you both there. Climbing my way back into the fold isn抰 going to be easy.?
Rita felt Peggy glance over at her but didn抰 look back. Instead, she focused on her brother, the unnatural tension in his shoulders, the set of his jaw. 揧ou sure that fold is somewhere you want to be, Aaron??
揙f course it is.?His sharp gaze lifted. 揑 don抰 fit anywhere else.?
揗aybe we were never meant to fit in,?Rita murmured up at the ceiling. 揗aybe it抯 a good thing.?
Rita thought of the way Jasper抯 kitchen had embraced her. Thought of the sense of coming home when she抎 walked into Buried Treasure. When she抎 stood on the mesa抯 edge, looking out at the desert. Lying in the grass of Jasper抯 backyard. So many times since crossing Hurley抯 county line, she抎 faced an odd sense of adjustment. Almost uncomfortable. But, just as often, she抎 experienced the sensation of sinking into a warm bath. There was no way to judge the effect of three days anywhere, though. Doing so would be silly. Giving up everything for a fling, knowing damn well there was a major possibility she could disappoint Jasper, would be shortsighted. This trip with her siblings, this promise to her mother梚t was where she needed to be. She owed it to Miriam. Owed it to them. Owed it to herself.
Why did her body梚ncluding her heart梖ill with lead at the prospect of climbing back into the Suburban?
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jasper usually left the bar抯 busywork to Nate, but cutting limes and replacing cash-register tape was helping keep his mind occupied, even if the silence acted as needles beneath his skin. In just under an hour, the Clarksons梚ncluding Rita梬ould arrive to help him and the chef prep the kitchen for Buried Treasure抯 first ever dinner service. The specials menu lay on the bar in front of him, but it resembled more of a eulogy to Jasper.
If that were true, dropping Rita off this morning had been a wake. Their impending separation had filled the truck抯 cab so thoroughly he hadn抰 even been surprised when Rita simply climbed out with a sad smile over her shoulder, setting off bone-deep agony so thick he hadn抰 been able to swim through it. Hadn抰 been able to call her back and say a proper good-bye, the way two people did after slaking each other抯 lust for damn near ten hours.
She抎 said his name in her sleep. When he抎 returned to the room after removing the perfect souffl?from the oven, he抎 slipped in beside her, rain beginning to pelt the roof, feeling more contentment than was wise in their situation, but unable to help himself. He抎 lain awake, watching the reflection of raindrops play on Rita抯 back, refusing to believe at first that she was breathing his name. But she was. She抎 done it exactly three times, all in different ways. Insistent, sweet, and longingly. That last time had prompted Jasper to roll her over, slide down between her thighs, and wake her up with his hungry mouth. He could still taste her. Probably would for the rest of his life.
By the end of the day he would know if he抎 get to refresh that taste every day, the way he craved the chance to do.
When the front door of the Liquor Hole opened, shedding light on the dim bar, Jasper squinted into the sunlight. The prospect of seeing Rita an hour earlier than expected sent his pulse haywire, but when the door closed again, Jasper saw it was only Belmont who had arrived. Interesting.
Jasper sent Rita抯 older brother a nod and stood, going behind the bar to toss a coaster in front of him. 揋et you a drink??
The stool creaked under Belmont抯 size. 揘o.?
揙kay.?Silence stretched. 揧ou stop by for a reason??
揧es.?
When it became apparent that Belmont was going to take his sweet damn time revealing his reason for stopping by early, Jasper set about icing down beers, cleaning the empty liquor bottles, and making a fresh pot of coffee. He might still be sticking to his sober guns, but he had no self-imposed rules against being caffeinated. Damn, he hoped Belmont had stopped by to talk about Rita. It would be nice to talk about her with someone. And Belmont抯 interest in his sister抯 relationship would mean it hadn抰 been some elaborate daydream.
Belmont cleared his throat, bringing Jasper抯 head up. 揇o you have intentions??
揑ntentions for what??Jasper asked, wanting to have the words said out loud. Wanting the last three days to be real.
揗y sister.?
Jasper picked up a bar rag and started cleaning. 揑 do. But you might have noticed she has intentions of her own.?
He swore another five minutes passed before Belmont spoke again. 揧ou could try and change her intentions to match yours.?
Jasper抯 laughter hurt on the way out. 揟hank you for the advice.?He threw down the rag in his hand. 揧ou know, I抦 a little out of my fucking depth here. I couldn抰 have made it any clearer how I feel about her. Now, I抦 going to be selfish and I抦 going to fight, but it抯 like trying to race a clock and I only had three days to compete.?
揟hat true??
揥hich part??
Belmont ran his thumb along the crease of his chin. 揧ou made it clear how you feel about her??
Jasper started to say Yesgoddammit, but realized it wasn抰 true. Not yet. Still, a man didn抰 expose the most vital parts of himself梐s he抎 done with Rita梬ithout wanting that woman to hold them in her hands, accept them, did he? He抎 showed her his restaurant, introduced her to Rosemary, held her in his bed. He抎 all but screamed, Take everything of mine. Please take it. Hadn抰 he? 揑 made it clear,?he hedged.