Erica shrugged. “Have an adventure.”
“At Christmas?” Anna took a sip of water. “What sort of adventure?”
“I don’t know. But do something different,” Erica said. “That way you won’t be sitting around wondering if this is the last time you’re going to be doing it because it will be the first time. Take control.”
“Also, you’re seeing your life as this big empty void but there is so much you could do. You’re great with kids,” Claudia said. “Can’t you do something with that? Volunteer at a school. Work in a library. You know every book there is. Set up a children’s book club or something.”
Anna stared at her. “A children’s book club?”
“Yes, I’m sure your library would host it. They’d love it. Or maybe you can travel around schools. Be a mobile book club.”
Anna felt something stir inside her. A children’s book club. “I like that idea. No idea how it would work, but it’s something to think about.”
She was about to discuss it further when her phone buzzed. She picked it up and felt her heart beat faster. “It’s Pete.” Her fingers were so sweaty she almost dropped the phone. “He wants me to call him if I’m not busy.”
“You’re not busy. Call him. And then come back and tell us what happened because the stress is killing us.” Claudia waved a hand toward the door. “We’ll stay here and eat, and drink and discuss all the reasons women might kill their husbands.”
“If we’ve finished talking about this book then I’d like to end the conversation by saying that I’m surprised she didn’t kill him sooner.” Erica picked up the book and gave Anna a gentle push. “Go. And give our love to Pete. Now then, Claudia, you and I are going to talk about how to kill a man and get away with it.”
“I’ve always favored using food.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “You two are delightful.” But she appreciated their attempts to lighten the atmosphere.
She grabbed her room key and her purse and headed to the door.
“Hope it goes well.” Claudia tried hard to sound casual and Anna could tell that her friends were now almost as tense as she was.
“Thanks.”
She walked back to her room, wishing she’d had more time to think through exactly what she was going to say.
Her hand shook as she closed the door behind her and tugged off her boots. She’d been with Pete for more than half her life. He was her best friend and it was ridiculous to feel nervous, but still, she felt nervous as she held her phone and braced herself for the call.
In all the years they’d spent together, they’d never hit a bump as big as this one. Right now this felt like the most important conversation she was ever going to have. What if she said the wrong thing? And it shocked her that she could know someone as well as she knew Pete, and love someone as well as she loved Pete and yet still get it wrong. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and called him.
“Hi there.”
“Hi. Sorry I haven’t been in touch before. It’s been a little pressured here. Hold on a moment. Lola has found one of Meg’s shoes and she’s chewing on it. Lola! Drop it. I said—” There was a pause and the sound of Lola barking happily. “Damn. I thought nothing could go wrong in the five minutes it took me to call you. Where did she find that? I was careful. Sorry.”
Anna wanted to ask which shoes, but then she decided she didn’t care. Meg’s shoes were Meg’s problem. She didn’t want to talk about Meg.
“If Meg left the shoes where Lola can grab them, then that’s on her.”
“It wouldn’t have happened on your watch.”
“Of course it would.”
“We both know it wouldn’t, Anna. You’re great at all this. You’re the perfect mother.”
She sat down on the edge of the bed. She wasn’t a perfect anything. “I’ve tried calling you a few times.”
“I know, and I’m sorry it has taken me so long to call you back. You make running the household seem simple, but I’m not you. Things take me a while. And that’s embarrassing to admit because how hard is it to wash a load of laundry without flooding the kitchen?”
“You flooded the kitchen?”
“Don’t worry, we managed to dry it out, but when you messaged me there was no way I was taking your call and admitting to my incompetence.”
That was why he hadn’t responded? “But I messaged you yesterday, too.”
“Yes, and I couldn’t answer because I’d left my phone in the house.”
“If your phone was in the house, where were you?”
“Not in the house.” He sighed. “Locked out of the house.”
“Locked—”
“Yes, locked. I closed the front door and forgot to pick up the keys. And I know you never do that because you’re organized and great at doing nine things at once, but I’m a one-task-at-a-time kind of guy, and I was trying to get Lola out for her walk, and the phone rang as I was leaving and I was distracted—do you know what? It doesn’t matter. But it meant that it was too late to call you by the time I was reunited with my phone.”
“Sharon and Mike next door have our key.”
“I remembered that half an hour after I broke in through the downstairs window.”
She winced. “You seem to have had an eventful time while I’ve been away.”
“Not my best week. And poor Daniel is having girl trouble, so I’ve been trying to be supportive.”
“Girl trouble?” Even though she was determined to focus on Pete, she couldn’t help feeling a flicker of anxiety for her youngest child. “Did he talk about it?”
“A bit. Not much. But I’ve got it covered. Don’t worry about it.”
“What did you do?”
“We played computer games. He destroyed me, naturally, something that Meg won’t let me forget in a hurry.”
She imagined them, side by side on the sofa, and the tight knot inside her slowly unraveled. Pete had shown Daniel that whatever happened he was right beside him. In his corner, always.
A lump settled in her throat. Sometimes she felt as if the kids were her responsibility, but that wasn’t true, was it? Right from the moment they were born Pete had been looking out for them, too. And he was still looking out for them.
“Why didn’t you tell me all this when we spoke?”
“About Daniel? Because I didn’t need to. I knew you’d worry and I didn’t want you to worry. I handled it. As for the rest of it, I’m proud and stubborn and I like to think I’m a modern man. But apparently, there are certain household tasks which defeat me, which is humiliating to admit. Somehow we’ve fallen into traditional roles. I take out the trash, sort out winter tires for the car and fix windows that won’t open and clear the snow. You do everything else.”
Anna felt love seep through her, filling every corner of her. “I’m glad you do those things, because I hate doing them. And who cares if we’re ridiculously traditional when it comes to the domestic stuff? It works for us. We’re happy with the arrangement. That’s all that matters.” Her eyes filled. “And you’re forgetting to mention all the years you’ve trekked to the office even when the job has been horrible. You did whatever it took to support us, so that I could have my dream and stay at home with the kids.” She thought about all the times he’d been there for her. All the times his calm, unflappable nature had made a bad situation better. He was strong, and kind, and good. And he was hers. “Oh, Pete—” The relief was so intense she felt shaky. “I’m so pleased.”