When he wasn’t hollering at home or telling her mom and Kasey how awful they were, he disappeared for entire days or for long stretches in the middle of the night. The week prior, Kasey had seen a gun in his top drawer when she’d gone in there to put away the laundry. Her mom hated guns; she told Kasey that her daddy did too. Roy kept a shotgun in the shed sometimes, but her mom wouldn’t let him bring one in the house. And one time when Roy thought she wasn’t looking, Kasey saw him stuff a box of plastic bags and three huge stacks of cash into his duffel bag before getting in her truck and driving away.
For most of the last two weeks of high school, Kasey stopped coming home completely. After returning from the senior trip to Adora Springs, she rotated nights between Ada’s, Caro’s, and Rosemarie’s. One of those days, she went home for a change of clothes. Her mom was standing in the hallway.
“I…I didn’t know you were here. I thought you were at work. Why aren’t you at work?” Kasey asked.
Her mom pushed her hair from her face.
“I took a day off,” she said, leaning against the doorframe.
“Is he here?” Kasey asked softly.
Angie shook her head no.
“Thank God,” Kasey said. She walked past her mom into her bedroom and pulled her top drawer open. She turned when her mom came into the room, limping. “What did he do to you? Mama? What the hell did he do? Can you walk? Are you okay?” Kasey asked. The fear hung on her voice first, and when it reached the rest of her, she dropped her bag and helped her mom to the edge of the bed so she could sit.
Kasey knelt on the floor in front of her.
“Kick him out now. It’s our farmhouse. It’s Daddy’s farmhouse! Roy has no right to it. Please, Mama. Please! I’m literally begging you to do this,” Kasey said. And although she’d been trying to keep it to herself, Kasey told her mom how guilty she felt for not always being there to protect her, to help call Roy off, and finally confessed how conflicted she felt about leaving so soon for New York, about going away to college and abandoning her mom to suffer all alone if she wouldn’t do anything about it.
“You don’t have to do this because of what happened to Daddy! I know you’re scared of Roy being gone for good one day, but you don’t have to be. Roy leaving is the best thing that could happen to you! You’re scared of being alone, I know, but you’re not! But alone is better anyway, Mama. Aren’t you so tired of this? He’s never—”
“Kase, Roy isn’t here, because he’s at an AA meeting at the church right now. He apologized this morning. He promised he’d get sober and I believe him this time,” Angie said.
“Mama, stop—”
“I believe him. We’ve been together for a long time. I don’t want you to worry about me. He swore he’d never yell at you again or bother you at all. He’ll change. He knows I mean it this time,” Angie said with such serious, heartfelt emotion; if Kasey didn’t know any better, she would’ve believed her.
*
RACK had a sleepover at Rosemarie’s that night. They talked about how there wasn’t much time left for sleepovers like this. Soon enough Rosemarie and Kasey would break away, and everything would be different. Earlier, Rosemarie’s dad had gone to Adora Springs to pick up their favorite pizzas, then her parents went back to Adora Springs for a late gig and were spending the night. The girls had the house to themselves.
Kasey hated having to ruin their pizza-and-movie night with her troubles at home, but she couldn’t hold it in. She finally told them everything—every horrible thing about Roy she’d been keeping inside, all she’d seen him do to her mom. All he’d done to her. There’s nothing good in him. She cried telling them how scared she was to leave. How bad she felt for leaving.
She had to leave, didn’t she? But what about her mom?
“Well, honestly, y’know…fuck it…maybe I have the answer. I was thinking about it and…I could ‘Goodbye Earl’ his ass,” Kasey ended, half laughing. Everything sucked so much she couldn’t help it. She reached to snatch a pepperoni off the pizza between them and ate it. Caro had made a dozen chocolate cupcakes, and she took them out of her bag, putting the box on the floor next to them.
“I can definitely whip up some rat-poison black-eyed peas for you,” Ada said. She snickered and got a cupcake out, inspected it in the light. She asked Caro if she put red pepper in it, and when Caro confirmed, Ada gave the okay sign.
“Wrap him in a tarp…weigh it down and dump him in the lake?” Rosemarie said. “I’m in!” She leaned and turned on her CD player. “Goodbye Earl” started playing.
“I mean, I do not see another answer here,” Kasey said quietly.
“Do you think your mom tells Duke about Roy?” Caro asked.
“I don’t know. Sometimes when I see him at the grocery store, Duke asks me how Roy’s been acting.” Kasey paused. “Duke knows I hate him. He told me to stay away from Roy the best I could and if I ever needed anything, to let him know. He would help my mom out if she asked for it, but she won’t! She acts like everything is fine, and if Duke ever tried to do anything to stop Roy, my mom would probably get pissed at Duke!” Kasey said. She told them about how Mrs. Castelow had also offered up the B and B to her mom if she ever needed to get away for a few days.
“I know Grandma Mimi and Myrtle have tried to get the police to arrest him for practically nothing, hoping it would help, but the police won’t do anything,” Caro added.
“I remember my dad telling me about seeing Roy’s arms all scratched up at the garage and he’d hoped your mom had torn him up the last time they fought. He said he asked Roy why he didn’t leave your mom if things were that bad, and Roy told him to mind his business,” Ada said.
“My dad flat-out told him to his face he was a piece of shit last week,” Rosemarie said. “He said he saw your mom crying on break at the store and asked if he could do anything. Your mom was telling him that she and Roy had gotten into a fight, but before she could finish, Roy showed up and interrupted them. Roy didn’t do anything when my dad told him that either, because Roy doesn’t fight men, only women. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now, Kase, but I wanted you to get a break.” Rosemarie slurped the rest of her pop through the straw and set her cup aside.
“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter. No one can do anything about it. I’m serious…the only thing that can fix this is if he dies. Like, the police can’t do it, my mom won’t do it, your parents and Grandma Mimi…Duke…it doesn’t matter. He has to be dead! When he’s dead, it’ll be over,” Kasey said.
“Know any hitmen?” Rosemarie asked.
Kasey shook her head.
“Don’t people die by just, like…getting too drunk and puking in their sleep? Does he sleep on his back?” Caro asked.
Kasey shrugged.
“The world would be much, much better with a dead Roy than it is with an alive-and-well Roy,” Rosemarie said, nodding and chewing.
“Sometimes I really do think I should do it,” Kasey said.