Not out of love, but for survival.
But no matter what she did, something would spark him. As the abuse continued, Caro got better at hiding it. Part of her felt like it was her fault for not figuring out his puzzle yet. Part of her held out hope that things would get better.
She was naturally optimistic and never realized how that could be a dark thing until Trey.
Only six months of marriage so far. That wasn’t so long, right?
Perhaps if she kept loving him and tried again and again to understand what set him off, what displeased him, she could become the type of woman he wouldn’t punish. She held on to any infinitesimal amount of sweetness he trickled out. Any day he didn’t hurt her physically was a plus. Any day he didn’t call her a bitch or tell her she was stupid was a good day.
She didn’t love him anymore. How could she? He’d probably never truly loved her, not even before they were married.
Now that heart she’d once had for him was dust, blown away.
*
Ada asked Caroline more than once if it was okay, then called her lawyer and told her to put her in touch with the best divorce lawyer in Goldie. She knew the Foxberry family had a team of wolflike attorneys on retainer. Kasey called Silas and asked him to tell her exactly what Caro needed to do to get a restraining order against Trey. When she got the phone from Kasey and heard Silas’s kind voice in her ear, Caro took a deep breath and asked if there was any way to keep it as quiet as possible; Silas said he’d do all he could to make that happen.
Making plans like this, Caro could see so clearly the dynamic of their sisterhood in action. Kasey, the brainiac, strategized. Ada, the businesswoman, executed and scheduled. Rosemarie, the heartbeat, steady and so honest and able to focus her emotions and search for solutions.
“Caro, Trey is a fucking rapist and an abuser. I can’t fully explain how sorry I am that you’ve been living like this for six months. That’s too long. No more. You’re so good at looking out for us and taking care of us. Now it’s time for us to take care of you,” Rosemarie said to her, pushing her tears away.
“It’s my last night at that god-awful boutique hotel. I’m supposed to meet Silas there for drinks after this but—” Kasey said.
“Please don’t change your plans for me—I mean it. You two have so much to catch up on,” Caroline said. Rosemarie and Ada echoed her until Kasey folded.
“Just hang out at Ada’s or Rosemarie’s and text Trey and say you’re spending the night with us, since he thinks I’m leaving tomorrow. He won’t know about the restraining order until the morning,” Kasey said. Caroline said okay.
“Tomorrow we’ll all go to the house with you to get your stuff. Or we could send Silas and Grayson. The whole police force,” Ada said. “We’ll do anything for you.”
“No. No, I can do that myself; I can. Trey will be busy at the distillery. It’ll be fine—trust me. He’s barely home anymore, and I’ll need the space and time alone to process everything,” Caroline said softly. There were so many nights she slept in that big house alone, and when she told Trey she wanted to get a dog, he’d said no. When she asked why, he told her it was because there would be times she might pay more attention to the dog and not to him, and then he’d want to kill the dog. Her head was pulsing hot under the dim lights of the restaurant. The wine was helping. She took another drink and Rosemarie poured more into her glass, her own too.
“Fuck the Earls,” Rosemarie said, lifting her wineglass in a toast. The girls lifted theirs and repeated it. They clinked.
Caroline felt her mouth lift into a small, surprise smile.
*
The next morning, after spending the night in Kasey’s hotel room, Caro and Kasey met the other girls and Silas at the police station to file the restraining order. Now Caroline was upstairs alone in her bedroom in the big house, packing her sunflower suitcase. She would miss that house. It could’ve felt cold or too empty with only the two of them in it, but Caroline had warmed it up. She’d painted their bedroom walls the blue of the ocean and the kitchen a soft honey color that reminded her of pie crust. She’d baked so many pies in that amazing oven. That oven was as good as the ones they had at the bakery. She would probably miss the oven most of all.
When she heard a car in the driveway, at first she assumed it was the cleaning lady. Then Caro’s blood cooled, remembering their security system. The way that Trey could connect it to his phone. The way he could be watching her pack her things right now if he wanted. Couldn’t he, if he’d activated it? Maybe he put secret cameras in the bedroom. She scanned the corners, the top of the dresser, searching for anything that could be recording her. Caro crept out of the bedroom slowly and looked over the railing. She went down a few steps so she could peek through the window.
The door chimed.
Trey walked in and looked up at her.
“Where are you going, Caroline?” he said so calmly she knew he was going to kill her. This was it.
There was a T-shirt balled in the grip of her fist. What could she do with that? She stood frozen on the steps as he walked up them, and it was only when he got close to her that she thought to run up too.
When she ran, her toe clipped one of the steps and she fell.
As she was falling, Trey grabbed her. Not to catch her, but to hold her so he could push her properly.
Now his hand was on her face, punching and grabbing at her hair. She was hurt, but she fought him anyway. She remembered the self-defense Beau taught her in high school. How to get out of a pair of zip ties if she ever needed to. How she could use her body weight to break them apart over her knee. He taught her to roll if someone was ever sitting on her and wouldn’t let her up. She thought about Beau and how he taught her those things because he said there were a lot of crazy, evil assholes in the world.
Caroline heard Beau’s voice as that crazy, evil asshole she was married to put his hand around her throat. She tried to roll but she couldn’t breathe and she was still falling. Trey kicked her and her body moved across the linoleum to the glass. Somehow, she got on her feet, but she couldn’t see. Her body was cumbersome and numb. Glass broke and wrapped around her.
She felt the heat of the sun as she slammed back onto the driveway.
Then.
Everything went gelid and black.
2004
20
Caroline couldn’t believe how okay she was with the plan to kill Roy. She wasn’t a violent person; she was painfully tenderhearted. Once, she found a dead butterfly in the gravel outside of their trailer and cried about it all day. She’d never been in a fight, never even come close. Grandma Mimi kept a shotgun in the corner of her bedroom, but Caro had never touched it and never wanted to. She hated guns and wasn’t interested in any of the people who were obsessed with them either.
She kept telling herself that they were young, they couldn’t get in too much trouble even if they got caught, but they wouldn’t get caught, because they had it planned out. Everyone would think Roy died of a heart attack or something. Why would anyone suspect RACK? They were good girls, young lights in the community, top of their senior class. It would make no sense.
They’d talked over everything so much and for so long Caroline could see the plan played out in her mind, coming together the same way her best recipes did. Ada had made the rat-poison black-eyed peas with extra onions and jalapeños on top and given them to Kasey. Ada had swiped the poison from her dad’s stuff in the garage because he had everything in there and wouldn’t miss anything. They decided to use a lot of poison since Roy was a big guy and they certainly couldn’t safely look up exactly how much poison to kill a big man on their computers at home or school. Kasey put the food in the fridge for later because Roy had a new job down at the Foxberry brewery across the lake and always came home for his break. Most of the time he’d want Kasey to get food ready for him with leftovers or make sandwiches out of whatever they had. Kasey’s mom hated black-eyed peas, onions, and anything remotely spicy so much that Kasey was 100 percent confident Angie wouldn’t touch any of it. They asked her a million times if she was sure, and Kasey never budged. She said they were her mom’s three most hated foods, period. Angie would be at the ceremony later, even though Kasey knew she wouldn’t see her, not until the party at the Plums’。 Ada, Caro, and Kasey were going to get a ride with Rosemarie from the ceremony to the party, so they could be together and be in a car. So they could be alone. They’d go discover dead Roy together too.