I don’t bother to correct him, even though I know in my bones the Starlight is mine.
Ian holds out a hand to me and I take it, letting him pull me up.
When we make it to the bridge, everyone is strapped into their seats, even Beckett, who normally never uses her harness.
Ian heads straight for her. I stay close, even though he doesn’t need me for this. But I’ll be honest with myself: If I’m going to die, I’d prefer Ian to be within reach.
“Status report,” Ian demands.
Beckett casts him a blank look. “Do you mean you want to know what’s happening?”
Sometimes I think I could actually like her.
“That would be a status report.” When she still doesn’t say anything, Ian sighs. “Just tell me.”
“Like I said, we’re being attacked,” she deadpans.
“Seriously? That’s it?” He looks ready to explode.
But Beckett just seems baffled. “There’s nothing I can say that you can’t see for yourself.” She waves at one of the screens. And there it is. A ship directly in front of us.
“Do we know who she is?” I ask, straining to see any markings. Part of my royal training included memorizing every official insignia being used in the Senestris system. Fun times.
“No,” Beckett answers. “No markings and no name. Like we said before—could be anyone trying to kill us.”
A laser blast shoots out from the ship. Terror rips through me as I clutch Ian’s arm.
“Are you going to try to avoid that?” he asks Beckett in an impressively calm voice, considering I want to scream at her to do something.
“Don’t need to,” Beckett replies. She turns to look at us with a grin. “Just watch for a second.”
I want to, but I can’t. My eyes screw up, and I clutch Ian’s arm like he alone can stop me from being obliterated into space dust.
Then the ship is dropping again, fast and hard. At least this time Ian and I both manage to stay on our feet. When I open my eyes, the screen is filled with light. But then it disappears, and, somehow, we’re still here.
“What the fuck?” Ian demands.
Beckett grins. “I know. Amazing, right? She’s the most mind-boggling ship ever. I think I might be in love.” She turns back to the console. “And here they come again.”
This time, I keep my eyes open. I see the blast leave the ship; then, when it’s about halfway to us, we just…drop. And the blast shoots off somewhere above our heads.
“So, you’re not doing anything?” Ian asks.
“Nothing.” As if to prove it, Beckett holds her hands up with a laugh.
“It took her a couple of shots to realize we were under attack,” Gage says. “So, if we could find a way to give her an advance warning, that would be great. Or maybe there’s some sort of monitoring system we can turn on. I’ll take a dig around when this is over.”
We drop again. This time, I didn’t even notice the blast.
“That is sort of cool,” Ian says, still sounding less than impressed. “But maybe we should get the hell out of here before whoever that is gets lucky.”
“Aw,” Beckett says. “Why do you always got to ruin my fun? But I suppose you are the captain.”
She presses a couple of buttons and swirls her hand on the console in front of her, and we’re pulling a one-eighty. As soon as we’re facing away from the attacking ship, Beckett slams her hand down on the console and we shoot forward at a truly alarming speed.
I crash to the floor again, with Ian right beside me—which makes me feel a little better. I start to get up, but after a moment’s reflection I decide I’m better off where I am.
Even before Beckett screams, “Yee-haw! I fucking love this ship.”
Chapter 32
Beckett
This might be the first time I’ve ever admitted to loving anything in my entire life, but I truly love this ship.
We’ve left our attackers—whoever they were—far behind. The Starlight is superfast. I’ve never known a ship so quick. It makes me wonder about the aliens who built it. Maybe Rain is right—maybe they were gods after all. All I know is they certainly knew how to build kick-ass tech.
Now that we’ve left that other ship in the dust, I touch the speed control and the Starlight slows. I wasn’t sure she would listen to me, but it seems she only takes over when she thinks I’m not going to manage on my own. Which is insulting. And also freaky.
Do I really believe the ship can think for herself on that level? Those capabilities are so far beyond anything we’ve got, unless the Ruling Families are holding out. Which they probably are. Who cares. My head hurts.
I recheck our course for Glacea—but the Starlight has already adjusted her flight plan—then sit back with a sigh to take stock. My mind is getting clearer, the gaps in my memories shrinking, and I’m feeling more lucid than I have since I was drugged and taken on board the Caelestis. But I suspect it’s a temporary reprieve.
My head always hurts. It varies from a dull throbbing in the base of my neck, like now, to a pain so intense it’s as though someone is drilling into my skull. I wish I remembered what they did to me on that shithole space station. The not knowing—it’s another violation, one more on top of the many the Empire of Senestris has been serving me my entire life.
Part of me thinks I shouldn’t try to remember. That I’m better off not knowing what they did. But then I take off this jumpsuit for bed and can’t help but see the fresh scars and healing injuries all over my body. And the horror of not knowing takes over, making it impossible for me to sleep. Impossible for me to think.
The only thing that helps is sitting in this pilot’s chair—and Rain. It’s impossible to feel trapped when I’m sitting here, the endless expanse of space spread out at my fingertips, mine for the taking.
I can go anywhere, fast. And while, yeah, Ian would probably have something to say about that, it doesn’t matter. Because the knowledge that I can go anywhere makes the need to do so shrink.
As for Rain…I can feel myself blushing when I think about her, and I never blush. I’m usually as stone-cold as they come—it’s how my mother raised me—but there’s nothing cold about my feelings for her. Which is freaky, too.
Not freaky enough for me to stop wanting to hold her, kiss her, touch her. But freaky enough to have me wondering what happened to me. What’s happening to me still.
My body aches. A bonus gift from my time on the Caelestis. I shift position, stretch out my back and legs a little. Tamp down the newest wave of rage at what they did to me.
I used to be able to go for hours, for days, without feeling so much as a twinge. My family conditioned me since birth to make sure of it. Now, I can’t even sit in a fucking chair for longer than half an hour without some part of my body cramping up.
As the shock and fear from the attack fade, the others start to talk around me. I let their voices wash over me without paying too much attention to their words. The more my head hurts, the harder it is to comprehend the words being spoken, so these last few days I’ve gotten in the habit of hearing without listening.
I twirl my chair around and grin. Rain is seated on the closest chair on my left, and Merrick is sprawled out next to her. His broken nose is swollen to twice its usual size, which probably explains the surly expression. Rain looks a little subdued but gives me a wan smile when she catches my eye.