“I’ll pass that along,” was all I said while stepping into the elevator, remaining quiet the rest of our way out, and then my heart shot into my throat at the sight outside the Bureau.
On the street, Maria was between Hudson and Constantine waiting for me, and I almost took a knee at the sight of her running my way.
“Ah, so you have a reason to stay retired,” I overheard Agent Lee say on my way to Maria, and I lifted her in my arms.
Yeah, she was my reason. My fucking everything. Her and Chiara.
I guided her legs around my waist and held her tight, hugging her as she murmured my name repeatedly like soft pleas.
“I’m so sorry,” I rushed out, never losing my grip on her. “Are you okay?”
“I was so worried about you,” she cried.
“I’m okay, baby,” I promised as her feet found the ground, and she kissed me, eliminating any doubts she planned to walk away after what happened. No, she was there. She was my girl. My fireball.
“Tell me you’re coming back to Charlotte. Promise me you’re getting on that plane today with me. No third-act breakup, right?” she asked, her voice trembling.
I wasn’t sure what a third-act breakup was, but I bent forward and lightly sucked her wobbly bottom lip. “Breakup, are you kidding?” I pulled back to find her eyes, shaking my head. “I’m lost without you.” I gulped at the emotion pushing up into my throat. “So no, no third-act breakup. You’re my girl. Forever.”
She reached between us, and it barely registered that there were people on the street, walking around us. “I love you, Lorenzo Costa,” she said between soft kisses. “You didn’t give me a chance to tell you that on Thursday. And maybe outside the FBI isn’t the greatest place to say it, but I don’t want to wait.”
I replayed her words, waiting for the moment my brain would tell me I didn’t deserve them or her love.
But nothing came.
The death grip of the past and that darkness didn’t draw me back.
With narrowed eyes, she added, “But you knew I loved you, didn’t you? You’ve always known.”
“I’ve always known,” I hoarsely admitted. “And I’ve always loved you, Maria Romano.” I brought my hands to her face, thumbing away tears as I stared deep into her eyes. My own gaze a bit blurry.
“Then let’s go home,” she whispered while reaching into her pocket, producing my sister’s rosary, and she placed it in my palm. “This belongs with you.”
“Belongs with us,” I gruffly said, hugging her again.
After a quiet moment passed, I stepped back and looked around, spotting Agent Lee talking to Hudson and Constantine by Hudson’s truck.
“Ready?” Constantine called out when finding my eyes. “The family is waiting for you at your place.”
The FBI office was in Lower Manhattan, situated between Tribeca and Chinatown, so we were closer to my home than my parents’ second home by Central Park.
I had every intention of leaving with Maria today and letting my brothers and Hudson handle any potential damage control, because I trusted them to do it. But I needed to see my family before I left, especially Izzy.
I couldn’t leave New York without ensuring she knew I loved her, too.
Maybe it was guilt at the fact Maria had witnessed me killing people on Thursday, but on the drive to Chelsea, a bad feeling planted roots in my gut.
The hugs from my family once at my place didn’t ease the hard knot in my stomach that was beginning to squeeze without remorse. Nor the promises from Maria she’d be okay.
“What’s wrong?” Alessandro asked, reading my thoughts.
I chanced a look at Maria at my side, and she tipped her chin to peer up at me. Her worried brown eyes shredded me, and I decided I couldn’t share what was on my mind in front of her. She didn’t need more stress.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “But can we have a word in my office?” I focused on Constantine and Hudson. I squeezed Maria’s hand, letting her know everything would be “fine.” Hopefully. She returned my look with a soft nod, and I let go of her to join my brothers and Hudson in my office.
“What’s going on?” Constantine cut straight to the point, perching a hip on my desk, and I went over to the fireplace and set a hand on the mantel. “Agent Lee say something to you we should be worried about that you didn’t want to say in front of Maria on the way here?”
“No, it’s not that.” My free hand went to my chest as the pain in my stomach worked its way to my chest. “I feel like I’m missing something.”