“Alice had us by the balls and we didn’t know it until it was nearly too late,” Constantine answered, and I looked over as Alessandro and Hudson took a seat on the leather couch.
“What you’re experiencing is anxiety,” Alessandro spoke up, and I wasn’t sure if he was giving me a hard time or being serious. “Maybe guilt. It’s all normal. You’ve been on edge all week, and we were blindsided on more than one occasion.”
“You think that’s all?” I wanted him to be right. God, did I ever. “No more loose ends?”
Hudson caught my eye next and gave me a serious look. “If you have concerns, then I’ll take another look at everything and talk to Agent Lee. He still has people going through Alice’s things and is trying to get more of her people to provide statements.”
“Thank you.” I nodded, and he was back on his feet and leaving the room, not wasting time.
When the door clicked shut, I let go of the mantel and looked at my brothers, both now on their feet, studying me.
Alessandro tipped his head. “You’re having second thoughts about whether or not you’re too dangerous for Maria, aren’t you?”
No, I don’t think that’s it.
Constantine stepped forward, searching for my gaze. “Don’t give up a love like you two have from a place of fear.” He cut the space between us and gripped my shoulder. “She knows now the risks of being with a Costa. And yeah, our family should be untouchable after everything that went down, but no, there’s no guarantees in life.” He always gave it to me straight. No sugarcoating, and I appreciated that. “You can’t protect her from everything, you know that, right?”
“But I want to,” I rasped, my stomach still twisting like heated scraps of metal.
“Well then,” Alessandro said, drawing closer, “you being in her life increases her chances of safety a hell of a lot more than if you’re not. Because you’ll be there to look out for her.”
“He’s right,” Constantine said. “And you know how much it pains me to admit that.”
A small, surprising smile slipped onto Alessandro’s lips, but before he could come up with a clever response, Izzy opened the door and poked her head in, and Constantine let go of me and faced her.
“Hey, you.” I motioned for her to come in.
“Can we talk?” she asked, eyes on me.
Constantine and Alessandro shot me a quick look, a plea to not be a dumbass about Maria, and I nodded my promise, and then they left.
Once we were alone, it was only then I noticed she had a folder in her hand, and in a small voice she said, “I thought you might want to read this. It’s Bianca’s original draft. Night and day different from what was published.”
I gulped, my gaze clinging to the folder, uncertain what to say or think. The uneasy feeling in my stomach doubled at the sight of it.
“Can I confess something?” she whispered, and I peered up at her, not sure where this conversation was going to go. “Growing up, I was always jealous of the relationship you two had. You had the twin thing, and I felt left out. And then after she died, it was like you couldn’t even look at me. And it hurt . . . a lot, if I’m being honest.”
Her words deflated the air from my lungs. “Izzy.”
She held up her palm, a request to let her continue, and I hesitantly nodded. “I look like her,” she softly said. “And although we have different personalities, I understand how hard it is . . . because sometimes it hurts when I look in the mirror.” Tears filled her eyes. “It fucking hurts.”
I broke forward, dying to get to her. To ease her pain. But she kept her arm extended, a request to let her finish, so I did my best to stay back and respect that.
“But I also want to feel closer to her. And if I change myself and who I am, I’m scared I’ll start to forget her. Lose her for good.” She sniffled. “But she’s gone, and you’re not, and I—”
“Fuck.” I couldn’t stop myself; I hauled my sister against me, and she dropped the folder. I cradled her head to my chest and held her tight. “I’m so sorry. So damn sorry.” I waited for her broken sob to slow before adding, “You do look like her. But I also see you for you. And I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become, and she would be, too.”
She peeled back and gripped my forearms as if searching for help to stand.
“I wasn’t there for you like I should have been. None of us was. We were focused on revenge. And we lost sight of . . .” I released a shaky exhale, my lungs hurting that time. “Let me be here for you now. Please,” I begged. “Let me prove to you that I do love you. And I’m here for you.”