So I turn back and pick an outfit from my upgraded closet, opting for a black Balenciaga miniskirt that’s entirely too cool for me and a snowy white Saint Laurent sweater blouse. I pair the two with leather buckled Jimmy Choo boots. The Garfield underwear remains firmly tucked in its drawer.
Then I spend a few minutes in front of the mirror, marveling at the woman staring back at me.
This chick is cool.
Taking a deep breath, I strut over to the door. I’m only halfway down the stairs when Uri appears at the landing. He’s wearing dark, slim-fitting jeans and a dark sweater that hugs his sculpted chest perfectly. He’s also wearing a knowing smile that’s all for me.
“You look beautiful, narushitel.”
It’s a fairly conservative compliment, at least compared to some of the things he whispered in my ear during last night’s midnight fuck, but the way he’s looking at me is far from chaste. My heart races as I try not to blush.
“You went shopping for me?”
He shrugs. “You needed clothes.”
I frown. “I live right next door. I have a bunch of clothes over there that you could have brought over.”
“You needed better clothes.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay, you snob. You still didn’t have to buy so much. I doubt I could wear that many outfits in one lifetime.”
There’s a glint in his eye that feels thrillingly possessive. “I wanted to spoil you.”
I don’t think any man I’ve ever been with has wanted to spoil me. I don’t think that was even a thought in their head. I was lucky if they bought me dinner. More often than not, we split everything down the middle.
Not that I minded. Gender equality and all. I was happy to pay my own way. But I didn’t really have anything to compare it with, either. And I have to admit, old-fashioned as it might be, there’s just something about a man who’s willing to pay for his woman, buy things for her, spoil her rotten.
Elle likes to say that it’s another form of control. But to me, it says, As long as you’re mine, I’m gonna take care of you.
What are you doing? I chide myself silently. You’re not his woman. You’re not his anything. You’re a prisoner at worst, a glorified house guest at best.
It’s hard to internalize that lecture when I’m busy internalizing how good he smells, though.
Lev saunters out of the basement a second later, looking a little shaky and very nervous. “I’m ready,” he announces.
I give him a wink. “I’m glad you’re coming with us.” That gets a blushy smile out of him.
As we move towards the door, Uri’s hand lands on the small of my back and despite my big lecture to myself, despite my better judgment, despite my logical sensibilities, all I can hear is—
As long as you’re mine, I’m gonna take care of you.
36
URI
Alyssa plucks off a grape from the bunch sitting on the charcuterie board and pops it into her mouth. I watch her chew for longer than is decent. She seems to be aware because, although she doesn’t look at me, her cheeks redden and she swallows quickly.
Lev is scanning the area uncertainly, his body swaying from side to side. I’ve brought him to Palisades Park a few times before. Once, it went great; the other three times, not so much. The odds are not in our favor.
But I’m hoping that having Alyssa here might make a difference.
The woman is fucking incredible with him. I say that with the reservations of a protective older brother. She knows how to talk to him, how to handle him. She knows how to bring him down from the brink of an episode and she knows how to stop his fears in their tracks. She’s gotten so damn good, so damn fast, that it actually pisses me off a little.
Why the hell did it take me so long? Why the hell is it still so difficult for me sometimes?
Every time I see her with Lev, my own adequacy is pulled to the forefront. Inadequacy is not something I’m accustomed to feeling. If this is what it’s like to be mortal, I want no fucking part of it.
“Do we play now?” Lev asks, throwing me a furtive glance.
“Why don’t you eat something first, Lev?” Alyssa suggests. “Hey, watch me.” She grabs another grape and throws it into the air before catching it with her mouth. “Ta-da!”
Lev looks positively mesmerized. He’s not the only one. “Do it again!” he claps. “Again!”
Picnic 2.0 was my way of pivoting when Lev announced he wanted to come with us. What I had in mind for Alyssa and I could not involve him. So this is the happy compromise. A gourmet spread in Palisades Park to keep Lev happy. Somehow, it’s every bit as good.