At my silence, Cameron’s eyes closed. He only stood there, like that, for an instant. Then, he walked away.
There was a long moment in which the only sound was my shallow breathing and his steps as he moved toward the door. And I kept thinking how much of a mess I’d made for someone who had kept it together for such a long time. For someone who’d been accused of not showing enough emotion so many times.
Let those goddamn smiles be rare as long as they’re mine.
I brought my hand to my chest, failing to soothe the tightening vise squeezing my heart.
“Did you really mean it, love?” he asked, and only then, I realized he was looking at me from the door. He hadn’t left. “When you told me you wouldn’t mind if I was the one to slay your dragons.” Something in me broke. “Did you mean that?”
I had meant it. With every ounce of who I was.
But everything had changed now. This wasn’t about taking his guest room or working with him on the team. It wasn’t about accepting needing his touch. The bubble had burst, the fairytale had torn, and I’d dropped to the floor with a thump. Just like my mother had predicted. This was real life. And my father was selling the club I’d considered home my whole life to the man who’d used me to manipulate him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Cameron
I’d fucked up.
Royally.
I never acted without a reason, without a well thought out plan. But this time I’d made a mistake. Adalyn was right, I shouldn’t have decided what was best for her without letting her have a say in it. Even though all I’d wanted was for her to have this one goddamn thing. Even though I knew her, and I knew she’d sacrifice her own happiness. Go to Miami and fix a situation she wasn’t responsible for.
Those goddamn fuckers were using her like a chess piece in their sick power game. And it made my blood boil.
But as much as I wanted to protect her, I had miscalculated. I’d fucked up. And now, I also knew that I shouldn’t have left the cabin. I shouldn’t have convinced myself that Adalyn needed space. I shouldn’t have left her and hoped for the best. I should have stayed.
Because now Adalyn wasn’t here. She wasn’t coming to the game, and I didn’t know if she was ever coming back.
I looked at my feet, the sound of the gathering crowd and the girls nothing but a low buzz.
I don’t need you to protect me… You don’t trust that I can handle things on my own.
Christ. I’d been such a moron. She believed that now. I’d led her to believe that. Even when all I think is how strong and brave she is. And how I worry about how little she actually needs me.
And now she was on her way to the airport, and I was here, my hands tied behind my back by my own actions. My stomach twisted at the thought of her sitting alone on that plane. Not having anyone to squeeze her hand in case she needed reassurance. I whipped out my phone and opened the flights app, but the reminder of her words brought my fingers to a halt.
You don’t trust that I can handle things.
I’d trust her with anything I had. But would she believe that if I planted myself in Miami? Would she think I was doing exactly what she’d accused me of? Would she tell me I was trying to fight her battles?
I expelled a forceful gulp of air. Shook my head. Locked my phone. I went to put it away but then pulled it back out and unlocked it. “Fuck,” I muttered. “Bloody fucking hell,” I continued, and her face popped behind my eyes. Language, Coach, she’d say with that tilt of her lips. It felt like a blow to my face. “You absolute toad.” I closed my eyes. “How could you lie to her, you—”
“Coach Cam?”
“María,” I said with a shake of my head, steeling myself before turning. “Hey, you called me Cam.”
María shrugged a shoulder. “You’re wearing your special shirt,” she told me, as if that explained why. Fuck, now my chest hurt again. “That’s good. But who is a toad? And who did he lie to?”
I sighed, incapable of mustering the strength to come up with an answer for her.
She narrowed her eyes, but rather than suspicion, she did it with understanding. “Is that why Miss Adalyn is running late? I thought she’d braid my hair again. Like last time.” She pointed at the side of the field where the team was gathering up. “Chelsea brought face paint, so she doesn’t need to use her fancy lipstick to draw lines on our cheeks again.”
“I…” Fuck me. I couldn’t do this. Air was getting stuck in my throat. “I don’t think Miss Adalyn is coming to the game, María.”