“I need to have a plan, Chewy. You’re leaving, and once you finish shooting the movie, you’ll be shooting Big Sky Ranch. You’re going to be gone for a few months, so I can’t just be living in your house.”
“Why the fuck not?” I asked.
“For a lot of reasons.”
“Name one.”
“We don’t know what this is, what’s happening between us. I’m an adult, and I need to have a home of my own. I can’t be sitting around, waiting to see what happens. I’m not going to do that to you, Finn. You’re my best friend. My favorite person. I love you so much, and I don’t want you worrying about me. If you—” She looked away, glancing out the window as a tear ran down her cheek.
“If I, what?”
“You’re leaving, Chewy. You’re going to have women chasing after you. You’re a freaking movie star now. You did me a favor. But we both know this isn’t going to last forever. This isn’t what you want.” Now the tears were streaming down her cheeks.
I guess we were doing this now.
I used my thumbs to clear away the liquid. “How do you know what I want?”
“Because I know you better than anyone. And I don’t think we want the same things.” Her voice broke, and I swear a piece of my heart cracked at the pain that I heard. “I want you to want the same things I want. God, I want that so bad. But I won’t ever ask you to be someone you’re not. And I can’t stand the thought of you not being happy. Or you being far away and feeling guilty because you want someone else, and you don’t know how to tell me. We can’t let that happen to us.”
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, stunned by how much she’d been holding in. Hell, I had been holding back, too.
“Miney,” I whispered before she pulled back to look at me.
“I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional.”
“Stop. I’m unsure where we stand, too. I don’t know where you are with Carl. I mean, I’m not the one who has someone waiting for this to fail so they can swoop in.”
Her pretty green eyes searched mine like she was stunned by my words. “You’ve got lots of people waiting to swoop in, Chewy. The whole world wants a piece of you. Your life is just getting started. And mine… mine is here.”
“Mine has always revolved around you. I just didn’t know what it meant back then. And now I know this for certain,” I said, as my thumb stroked her bottom lip. “I don’t want anyone else. When I’m away from you, I miss you like crazy.”
“I don’t think that’s enough.” She shrugged. “It’ll fade.”
“This isn’t a fucking fling. I’ve loved you my entire life, Reese Murphy. That will never fade.”
She pushed forward again, hugging me tight. “Let’s just enjoy this time together, okay? And then we’ll see what happens. You don’t need to make me any promises. But just know that I’m going to be fine. I’m going to move into my own place when you leave. And we’ll just take things one day at a time.”
She’d already given up on me.
But what she didn’t know was… I’d never give up on her.
Or on us.
twenty-four
Reese
Downtown was lit with white twinkle lights that crossed back and forth over the street. The light posts were covered in garland, and red and white poinsettias hung from above. Holiday music was piped through the speakers, and everyone was out shopping tonight. The snow had lightened up, and Finn and I had already found a few gifts for our siblings. We’d stopped in The Tipsy Tea and bought a few things for Gracie. As we strode down the street toward Reynolds’， Finn stopped in front of Cove Jewelry.
“Come on. Let’s go in and look,” he said.
“What? Why?”
“I want to look in here together. Humor me.”
I stepped inside when he held the door open for me. “Hey, Mr. Clark.”
“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite troublemakers.” The older man came around the corner and hugged each of us. He had to be in his early eighties now, and I swear the man used to be taller, but his smile was as big as ever.
“Who are you calling troublemakers?” I teased.
“Oh, I don’t know. The girl who mailed water balloons when she was eight years old. And the boy who ran naked through downtown in high school.” He laughed so hard that a few tears ran down his kind face.
“It was one water balloon. Finny here bet me that I wouldn’t do it. I waited until after Mr. Milford had picked up the mail that day. I don’t know why Alicia Rogers felt the need to turn me in.” I couldn’t hide the smile on my face, even if I’d been completely beside myself back then, convinced I’d have a police record and never go to college. Damn, we’d had so much fun growing up in this town.