“It is.” I swallow down the lump, looking at the empty slot for the third picture.
I pick up the frame and turn it to her. “Whoa,” she says, “is that—”
“It’s nothing,” I say, trying to grab it back from her and tuck it back in the white box.
“Is that?” she asks as she looks from one picture to the next.
“Yeah, it’s the same picture, just a couple of years apart,” I confirm, trying not to dwell on it, while also trying not to freak out that he still had the picture of us lying around that he could have found it.
“How is it that you have the same look in both pictures?” Clarabella laughs while she asks the question.
“I do not!” I shriek. “I certainly do not.” I look over at Addison, who has a scared look, probably because I sound like a crazy lunatic right now.
Clarabella is unfazed by my tone and all she does is look at me and burst out laughing even more. “Yes, you do.” She hands me back the frame. “It’s there in both pictures. It’s love, and it’s written all over your face.”
I put my hand to my chest in shock, as if she had just told me the tooth fairy wasn’t real the morning after I lost a tooth and came up empty-handed. “I don’t love him.” The words taste wrong as soon as I say them, and I hate it. “I like him.” My eyebrows shoot up. “A bit.”
“You’re lying.” Clarabella points a finger at me. I look down at the frame, and I can’t even try to tell her that she’s full of it. If I didn’t know myself and I looked at these pictures, I would probably—most likely—think the same thing.
“I can’t love him.” I say the words. My voice is almost a whisper as it dawns on me that I went and fucking fell in love with him. “This is me getting him out of my system.” I look at Clarabella, who just nods her head at me without telling me sure it is.
“That is what this is.” I look over at Addison, who smiles at me almost like, you poor thing. I get up, the chair flying back. “I’m not in love with him,” I tell them both, wrapping up the frame in the white box. “This is…” I try to think of the words to say. “Nothing.” I look at both of them as I put the cover on the box and walk around my desk. My body is filled with endless nerves. I grab my purse, picking it up, “I’m,” I say, looking at them, “I’ll see you both tomorrow. Good night.”
“It’s ten a.m.,” Addison states and Clarabella just claps her hands together as she bursts out laughing.
“Call me if you need anything,” I tell Addison and storm out, pissed at myself for letting this get to me again.
“Unbelievable,” I mumble as I toss my purse on the seat beside me and then put the white box on top of it.
I don’t even know how long it takes me to get home, but I park in the garage when I do. I leave the box and my purse in the car before walking into the house. The phone pings in my hand, and I see it’s from Matthew
Did you like the gift?
“No,” I tell myself, “no, I did not.” My fingers are on the keypad, ready to answer him.
What gift? In meetings back-to-back. Have three bride meetings today, will only finish really late. I’ll call you when I’m done.
I press send before I walk straight upstairs to my bedroom. The covers are still all messed up from this morning when we had sex as soon as my alarm started ringing. I kick off my heels and undress before I strip the bed and wash the sheets. My phone rings a couple of times, and every time, it’s Matthew. The sun goes down, and I make sure all the blinds are closed around the house. I sit in the middle of my bed with the television on, but the sound as low as can be. The phone on the night side table with unanswered texts from Matthew.
Do you want to come here after work?
Swung by the office to drop off something to eat. Where are you?
Can you call me?
I ignore the phone calls. I ignore the text messages. I ignore it all. Lying in bed, I watch the hours tick by when I hear my phone ringing at midnight, right before the knock on my door. “Fuck,” I mouth without saying anything.
“Sofia,” he says my name as I sneak down the stairs, trying not to make a sound. “If you don’t open the door,” he warns, his voice clear as day, “I’m calling your grandfather and telling him I can’t find you.” I close my eyes, wondering if he would really do that. “I don’t have his number, but I’m sure I can get a hold of someone.” I finally step down the last step. “Maybe if I speak into the Ring camera,” he says, and I shake my head, knowing he’s not going to go away. “Open the door, Sofia.”