She licks her lips, not pushing me away. “Why?” Her voice is so low, I know this is going to be my only shot.
“Because I’m not a stupid kid anymore.” I want to kiss her so badly, but she needs to know, needs to understand how I can’t live life without her. “Because I know what my life is without you.” I take a deep inhale, not willing to see it, not willing to live it. “And I know what my life is with you.” The strength she had to hold back the tears is a losing battle, and just like me, she lets go of a single tear, except I’m here to brush away her tear. “And clear as day, I would pick you every time.” I lick my lips, my mouth going so dry I don’t know how I continue, but I do, with my heart beating so fast in my chest it’s putting additional pressure on my heart. “I fucked up, a colossal fuckup.” I try to smile, but the pain in my chest from when I lost her comes front and center again. “The way we came together again is not ideal.” I smirk for a second. “But I have to think we would have crossed paths again.” The agony of it not happening is too much to bear. “I have to believe this because there is no one for me but you.” I trail off.
“You had Helena.” She puts her hand on my wrist that is still holding her face.
“I did and I wish that I hadn’t.” I shake my head. “I can see now that what I felt for her was nothing.” My voice quivers. “I didn’t give her me.” I wipe another tear away from her cheek. “I didn’t give her parts of me.” Her lips quiver at the same time mine do. “Because that part of me was always yours.” I stare into her eyes. “Tell me you hear me, Sofia.” I put my forehead to hers. “Tell me what you feel for me isn’t anything. As much as I can’t and don’t want to, I’ll let you be. I’ll love you from afar. I’ll live my life knowing I will never love anyone but you.” I wait a second before the plea comes out. “Tell me.”
“I’m afraid,” she finally admits. “I’m so afraid.”
“I failed you once, Sofia, by not being what you needed. By not being the man who you deserved. You have to know. You have to know that I would never do that again. It kills me inside knowing I was the man who was supposed to protect you. I was the man who was supposed to do everything to make sure you felt no pain, but I was, in fact, the one who inflicted the pain on you.” My hand shakes now as I hold her face.
“Don’t hurt me again,” she pleads, the words slicing through my heart one word at a time.
“I promise you; I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it.” She stares into my eyes this time. The turmoil that we both feel is etched on our faces.
I wait for her to say something, anything, waiting as if my life sentence is being delivered. “I hear you,” she says. I don’t let her say another word, I lower my lips to hers, the taste of our tears on our lips as I kiss her like it’s the first time all over again. My tongue slides into her mouth as I wrap my arm around her waist, while the other one gets buried in her hair. She moves her head to one side and I pick her up. Her arms wrap around my neck at the same time her legs wrap around my hips.
I walk over to the stairs going to her bedroom. Every single light is off in the house, but I make it to her bedroom like I’ve been in this house a million times before. Once I walk into her room, she peels herself out of my arms, her hand going to my cheek. “I love you.” The words come out breathlessly. “I fought it,” she admits, and I hate that I can’t see her eyes. “Said it would never happen. I was wrong.” She kisses my neck, her hand squeezing my T-shirt in her fingers, pulling it up and over my head. “I didn’t think this would ever happen again,” she says, looking down. “I wished for it for so long that I thought it would never happen.”
“It was always meant to be,” I assure her as she opens the sash of her robe. Slipping it over her shoulders and down to her feet, she stands in front of me wearing a white camisole with matching panties.
She walks beside me, slipping her hand in mine, and she kisses my shoulder and pulls me with her to the bed. “It was always meant to be you,” she declares to me, sitting on the bed, pulling my arm down so I sit next to her. Her hands go to my face. “It was always you.” My heart soars in my chest. “It’s always going to be you.”
“You bet your ass it will be,” I vow, right before I claim her mouth. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I lower her back to the bed. There in the middle of her darkened room, I make love to her.