We fall together on the bed, and he clutches me tight to him. “You’re still here,” he murmurs. “I knew Ez was right, but still I worried the pure euphoria of my pleasure would be enough to trigger the bargain, even without a physical release.”
I can’t help but laugh in his arms while the starlight still flickers through me. “Fae bargains, so dramatic.”
He brushes the hair from my brow and kisses my forehead. “Now that I know what we’re capable of, Rosalina, it is only the beginning.”
I grasp his hand. “Until one day.”
He squeezes back. “One day.”
69
Rosalina
The sun is shining through Castletree, and it seems a mockery of the sadness that gripped it two nights ago. Ezryn’s waiting for me in the entrance hall so we can return through the mirror to Keep Hammergarden.
But I can’t leave yet. Not with the way things are.
My mind has been eerily quiet. I know it’s Farron giving me the space I asked for, but I can’t stand it anymore. Can’t stand the pain I put him through or the pain he put me through. Our words have always been weapons; I just never thought we’d wield them at each other.
I open the door to the library and peer inside. Farron’s sitting at a desk, examining a stack of papers. Dayton leans near him, wearing only trousers.
You’re not my mate. The words had edges, gouging me open. But he’s right. I was so angry, it was easy to find something to be angry about. And my jealousy—my grief at losing Dayton to someone else—was so close to the surface. I can’t blame Dayton for telling the truth.
They both look up at me as I enter. Dayton slaps Farron on the back and mumbles something to him. Then he heads my way.
He moves as if to pass, but I reach out and snag his wrist. Our eyes meet.
The air ripples with the unspoken words. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
But instead, I say, “You know.”
“I know,” he responds, voice a low rumble. “And you know.”
“I know.”
Taking a deep inhale, I let the moment ripple through me. This is how things are with Dayton. Never said, always felt.
He smiles. “Give him hell, Rose. He’s less fragile than he looks.”
I snort, but Dayton’s soft expression sends a jolt of energy through me. I turn to watch him walk from the library.
Farron stands up, hand on his neck.
He looks so beautiful bathed in the morning light. I think back to when I first fell in love with him all those months ago: our long days together, the stories we shared, how he felt like the first person in my life to understand me to my core.
And that’s why I understand him so well.
Understand his anger. His fear.
Can we have a do-over? I say in my mind.
His golden eyes flick up at me. Anything you ask.
The space between us disappears in a moment, then his hands are on my face and my fingers are tangled in his hair, and his mouth is on my neck, my jaw, my lips.
“I’m so sorry, Rosie,” he murmurs against my skin. “I trust you. You know I do. And I know better than anyone that us princes have no right to cast stones.”
“I’m sorry, too. I want you to know that I understand how much Caspian hurt you. Hurt Kel. I’m not apologizing for him.”
Farron pulls back and wipes away the tears I didn’t even realize were falling down my face. “I wish I had your optimism about the world.”
“And I wish I had your sense of self-preservation.” I force a smile, and we both laugh.
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight to his chest. “We’ll figure this out. We always do.”
I breathe him in, letting his scent calm me. “You know I want to protect you as much as you want to protect me, don’t you, Fare? I want to protect all of you. I won’t let him hurt Kel again.”
“That may be your intent, Rosie, but none of us can control the Prince of Thorns. Even if you’re right, even if there is some good in him, he’s still in allegiance with Sira.”
But what if he doesn’t have to be? This thought I keep to myself. For now. “Did you really rip his book?”
Farron shrugs.
My thoughts drift back to Caspian’s birthday party, the indifference in which Caspian regarded my gift to him. But beneath that indifference, I’d felt something else. A spark of joy. “Hatred doesn’t cure hatred,” I whisper.
“I know.” Farron closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine. “I don’t like myself like that. I don’t want to be that person.”