“No.” My voice is a breath. I caress the side of his helm, the whisper of the butterfly wings falling over my skin. “You didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”
“It doesn’t matter. She died because I couldn’t control my own power. Because there is something broken within me, and the Blessing knows it.”
He looks so gentle right now, dressed in sunlight and color. His every movement is slow and careful so as not to disturb the tiny creatures around him. It reminds me of the many times we’ve been together when I was fragile and afraid. “When we stood on my balcony in Coppershire, you told me you were dangerous. Is this what you meant?”
“I didn’t just kill her, Rose. I destroyed my father and brother’s lives. If that were ever to happen again …”
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “There isn’t anything wrong with you, Ez. It was a horrible accident, but that doesn’t mean you’re broken.”
He shakes his head. “Kel, Dayton, and Farron have never lost control of their magic like that. Farron was passed the Blessing in the same way with no repercussions. And when you two mated …” He stares at me. “It awakens great power in a fae when they accept their mate bond. At no point, even with this influx of magic, did Farron ever lose control of himself.”
The image of Farron’s body glowing plays in my mind. I’ll never forget the moment in the Emberwood when our souls laced together. Even I had felt the energy radiating off of him.
I tuck closer to Ez. “You can’t blame yourself for losing control of your Blessing any more than Farron can for losing control of his wolf.” I look down at my hands, thinking of the golden briars that sprouted from me once, but never again. “This magic is bigger than all of us.”
“But Farron did control it in the end,” Ezryn says.
“And so have you.” I take his hand and pull off the glove, lining up our fingers. “Your magic healed me. It faded a scar that was not only etched into my skin, but my heart. You learned to wield fire to cauterize Dayton’s wounds and saved his life.”
His voice begins to shake, and I tuck his hand into both of mine. “But don’t you understand, Rose? What if something happens and I just … break again?”
It’s all so clear to me now, why every time things get hard, Ezryn leaves. Losing himself in the Briar, killing goblins—it’s a way for him to feel in control of himself. I sigh and scoot close to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. “Then I’ll put you back together.”
His helm tilts against my forehead. “I can’t help but think the Blessing would have been safer if I had passed it onto Kairyn.”
“Your mother wanted you to lead Spring. Not him.”
“But—”
I slip to the ground, sliding between his feet, and look up at him pleadingly. The action causes the butterflies to take flight, bursting from his chest in a cloud of color. “You are the rightful High Prince of Spring. I understand how hard things have been. You didn’t just lose your mother; it was like you lost your entire family. But you made the right choice fighting for yourself in the Rite. Now, both you and Kairyn are back home. Wouldn’t it make your mother so happy to see her sons working together?”
“You’re right. That would make her happy.” He stands and pulls me to my feet. “Thank you, Rosalina. You’ve given me the courage to do something I should have done a long time ago.”
I wrap my arms around him. “You know she would want you to forgive yourself.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m trying, Rose. I promise, I’m trying.”
71
Ezryn
I find my brother in the Healing Gardens on the western corner of the keep. The open-air space is filled with rocky water features, green shrubs pruned into the shapes of mystical creatures, and aromatic herbs that fill the air with sweetness.
Kairyn sits on a stone bench beside my father, who is bundled in a thick blanket, helm lolled to the side, dozing.
My brother’s right arm is in a sling, and he wears no metal besides his helm, merely dressed in a black long-sleeve tunic and pants. Even without the armor, his size is impressive, shoulders broad.
He stands as soon as he sees me. “Brother. I sent search parties out—I wasn’t sure what happened.”
“All is well. The other High Princes and I made it back to Castletree mostly unscathed thanks to Lady Rosalina.”
Kairyn shakes his head. “Everyone is all right …”