The Thrashers(92)

When a lazy knock broke over the front door, Jodi couldn’t be bothered to change out of her boxers and tee. She almost didn’t open it, but she knew she’d need to face Zack sooner or later. When the door swung open and Julian was there, leaning against the frame like he was getting paid to model those jeans, she swallowed and crossed her arms over her chest.

He shifted on his feet and said, “It was a shitty thing I did last night. And I’m sorry.”

Her heart plummeted. She felt the blood leave her face even as her neck heated. So Zack had been right. He had been using her. “Okay” was all she could manage.

“I shouldn’t have outed Zack like that,” he said. “What I should have done is forced him to tell you himself.”

Her pulse found its footing again. The “shitty thing” was telling her about Zack and Emily.

“How long have you known?”

“Since it happened.”

She pressed her lips together, anger and disgust rising in her throat. “And when was that?”

“End of spring break, I think.”

Jodi felt like a rock had lodged itself in her throat. Around April. Had Emily tried to kill herself afterward? She shook her head clear and refocused. “So he told you right after. Do Paige and Lucy know?”

He shook his head. “I really don’t think so. I mean, from what I know, he only told me.”

Jodi felt ill, so she moved onto the next awful thing to talk about.

“I don’t really get why you kissed me,” she said hesitantly.

“Yeah, me neither.”

“Great. Awesome.” She rolled her eyes and leaned on the back of the couch. “Let’s just forget about it forever then, I guess.”

“Sure.” He swallowed, looking like he would say more, but then shifted gears. “Anyway. It really bothered me when Zack said I was using you for your testimony. And I just wanted to explain it wasn’t true.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jodi didn’t know what she expected. She hadn’t expected. Zack was supposed to be the one coming over to apologize first thing in the morning. Zack was supposed to be explaining himself. But instead, Julian Hollister had come over to make sure she was okay and that the air was clear between them.

And it was clear.

Crystal.

It was a kiss and it was over and that was that.

“You still have paint behind your ear,” he said.

She jerked and reached up.

“Wrong ear.” He grinned and stepped forward. His fingers held her jaw—just like they had last night—and his blunt nail tried to flake it off. Chills broke across her arms, and she forced herself to stay still so he wouldn’t see.

Crystal clear.

He looked down at her lips, and her heart stuttered a beat.

She swallowed. “Um, before you kiss me again—”

“Presumptuous.”

“—I need to know what you said to Emily that day.”

The humor left his eyes, and slowly, his fingers slipped off her skin. He tucked his hands into his pockets. “If I tell you,” he said, “I don’t think we’ll ever kiss again.”

Her skin prickled, and not the pleasant way this time.

“Tell me.”

He stepped back from her, and she felt the distance like a heavy wind.

“After Zack slept with her, I watched Emily. I tried to keep an eye on her, because if she felt like getting chatty with people about sleeping with Zack Thrasher … then Zack was going to have to make a choice. Come clean or deny it.” He looked off over her shoulder and clenched his jaw. “I wasn’t thinking back then about statutory rape or anything like that. I was thinking about the social consequences, how people would see him differently. He’d really fucked up, and everyone would know it.

“She got way weirder after spring break. I don’t know if anyone else picked up on it, but she was everywhere at once, in every conversation, at every hangout. I thought at first that Zack was inviting her to make her feel better about what happened between them, but when I told him to cut it out, he denied it. But she was relentless. It was like she thought that sleeping with Zack made her one of us.”

Jodi chewed on the inside of her cheek and said, “The journal the police have says she tried to kill herself. In April, right around spring break.”

Julian narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know anything about that. She did not seem ready to give up on anything during those months.”

Jodi nodded, and let him continue.

“I didn’t see it until closer to prom, but something shifted last spring. Her attention wasn’t on Zack anymore.” His eyes flitted over her face. “It was on you. Like you were the one she wanted to be with, or be like, or something.”

Opening her mouth to deny it, Jodi paused, remembering Mrs. Needlemeyer’s notes: Follow up about Jodi Dillon.

Said Jodi was the only person who cared about her in the entire world.

Despite the thoughts running in her mind, Jodi said, “That doesn’t make sense.”

Julian’s lips quirked. “Doesn’t it? Wasn’t she bothering you most out of everyone toward the end? You were the only one who gave her the time of day.”

“She—she was still in love with Zack. She talked about him with me all the time.”