揕ance. You old fuckwad! Give me my job back or at LEAST let me do my set tonight!?
揌ey. I have kids here,?I say to the girl梬oman梠n instinct. Her hair is flattened to her head, dripping water everywhere, like she抯 just stood in the rain and let it wash over her for hours.
揧ou have kids at a bar in the middle of the day??she says to me, scrunching up her nose. 揝ounds like a well-placed F bomb is likely to be the least of their troubles.?She whips back over to Lance. 揕ance, I apologized. But customers were leaving because everyone else that night tanked. You should be pleased. Tickled, even! I made this place good money that night.?
揧ou abandoned the bar to do a set, Farley.?
揙ne: Because you kept denying me my spot or scheduling me on open mic night instead of letting me have it off like I continuously asked for. And two: Everyone else was dying up there. When I got up, the laughs were so loud that people started piling in from the streets. It was standing room only in this place! Even without the booze people were laughing, Lance. Give me my spot tonight.?She throws me a look that clearly states 搕he hell you looking at?before she turns back to Lance. Then, with a blink, she jerks her head back to me, some of her sopping wet hair splattering across her chin in the movement.
揙h, shit. I know you.?
揧ou do??
揧ou抮e Meyer Harrigan.?Amber eyes grow bigger, and her dark brows shoot up.
揌ow do you know me??I shake my head, confused. She抯 too young to recognize me, surely.
揑 saw you. A couple of times! Okay, fine, not really. But, I have watched every stand-up set you抳e done that抯 available on YouTube probably a thousand times.?
I grunt an acknowledgment, unsure how else to reply.
揌elp me convince him I deserve my spot tonight,?she demands, leaning in eagerly.
揢h, no??It抯 like there抯 a hummingbird in my face, wings beating so rapidly the movement is a blur; it抯 beak needle-like and jabbing at me. The urge to figuratively swat it away is strong.
She looks me up and down, studying my face for something before she glances over my shoulder.
揧ou don抰 seem like a drunk or a deadbeat,?she says.
揟hat抯 nice. You very much do seem like you might be on卻omething.?
She shakes that off with an eye roll. 揑f you抮e not a drunk or a deadbeat, why do you have these kids at a bar for a birthday party??The party hats I picked up on the way must抳e clued her in.
揑t抯 a comedy club, not a bar.?
She smiles wickedly. 揊unny, you抎 think it was just a bar with the shit this guy keeps giving me over closing it down for a few minutes to focus on the whole comedy thing.?She stabs a thumb towards Lance.
I look over at him and snort. Fell into that one.
Lance reddens, but appears resigned as he mutters to his inventory clipboard. I catch movement in my peripheral and spin to see the girl approaching Hazel抯 table.
揧ou guys could at least put some music on for them or something.?
揌ey. No棑 Shit, what was her name? 揓ones. Stop.?
Her steps stutter a bit when she gets over there, pausing as she looks at the side of Daisy抯 head, noticing her cochlear.
揌ow you girls doing today??Jones asks then, as well as signs, and I suck in a gasp. Each girl sits up in their seat, instantly a little brighter. None respond.
揥hose birthday is it here??she asks, and signs perfectly again.
Hazel raises her hand. 揂nd how old are you today??she signs as she speaks.
揝even,?Hazel replies.
揝even?! What the hell are you guys doing sitting in here instead of out celebrating being seven?! Seven puddle jumps, now!?
They抮e all smiling at her, looking a little awestruck. 揗y dad won抰 like me jumping in puddles,?Hazel says with a laugh.
Jones glances around, not overselling it, but making it appear like she抯 searching. She lifts her hands with a smile and signs, 揑 don抰 hear him complaining, do you??and all four of them burst out in laughs.
Good God. The woman hit them with a hearing joke, within a minute of meeting them, completely unafraid.
Needless to say, we all head to the alley out back, and jump in gigantic puddles while the rain pours down, until we are soaked to the bone.
When we head inside for hot pizza, Hazel says, 揑 guess I still got to splash around with my friends today after all.?She beams up at me.
Hazel had her first cold when she was just a few weeks old. Suffice it to say she was pissed about it. She抎 screamed and cried endlessly梘reat big tears that only led to her being stuffier. I was terrified, alone, and utterly clueless. So, like any good twenty-six-year-old man, I called my mom. 揗om, I don抰 know if I can do this.?
揧ou can, Meyer. Keep her elevated. Let her drink as much as she wants, whenever she wants?and have you tried a bath? If the rest of the cord has fallen off all the way, you can try a bath.?
I checked her belly, peeling her off of me just enough to see. I couldn抰 set her down long enough to dress her without her screaming, since my clumsy, shaking hands made the process last way too long. Even diaper changes required bracing.
I drove out and bought her a baby bath, as she screamed the entire way to, in, and from the store. The moment I set her in it, against the little bouncy chair, her eyes went wide, and her lips pursed. She hiccuped, and kicked her legs, splashing, finally happy.
She抯 always been a water baby.
揇id I hear Lance call you Farley earlier??I say to Jones when Haze goes back to the table with her friends.
揧ou did. It抯 my name.?
揧our name is Farley? You some scion descendant of a comedy dynasty or something??
She laughs bitterly. 揘ope. Just a family name. The only family I have left hates this,?she gestures to the club, her finger whipping around in a circle.
She pivots on a heel and goes back to the girls, naturally taking them through what feels like a set that was designed for them, without the unnecessary theatrics behind it. She doesn抰 stand up, doesn抰 use a mic （which is good since it would be pointless in ASL）， just makes it feel like conversation over pizza, but has them all giggling and snorting uncontrollably. She pokes plenty of fun at me, at Lance. She jumps up and leaves for a second before running back in and presenting something to Hazel. As she takes it in her palms, Farley signs, 揑t抯 a tattoo. Now you can say you got a tattoo for your birthday.?
I feel my eyebrows pinch together. 揘o tattoos!?I call. Farley ignores me, and since Hazel isn抰 facing me, she抯 not privy to my objections. Farley looks at me and grins, eyes twinkling even from a distance.
As her hair dries, I notice that it抯 got quite a bit of red in it.
She brings Hazel to the sink at the bar and applies the temporary tattoo on the back of her hand, while I look on, trying to settle the strange feelings muddling in my chest.
Hazel runs over to show the other girls, the tattoo making her smile and flourish her hands as she signs. The manner that she holds her hands and twirls them makes something heavy catch in my throat. She clearly feels proud, and pretty?Even more special for the way that she communicates in this moment. I抦 actually jealous that I didn抰 think to do it first.
Farley finds a bowl of cherries behind the bar and starts eating them one by one.
揑 think this party is a hit after all,?she says.
揟hank you.?I clear my throat. 揧ou saved it. I抣l, um桰抣l make sure Lance gives you your mic time tonight.?
She frowns and sets down the bowl of cherries. 揑 didn抰 do any of this just to make you do that.?
揑 know. But now I抦 genuinely curious. I抣l come back and watch your set later.?