In true comic form, since we are unable to handle things with seriousness for any stretch of time, Kara breaks up the silence with a joke.
揌onestly, I tell jokes about my son抯 baby boners and licking my husband抯 ass hole. So, I exploit the hell out of them. Don抰 feel bad about putting on a little show. We抮e going to have the best fucking time, I promise.?
I beat Meyer to his car so that I can avoid him opening my door for me, but, with my typical subtle grace, I fling the door too hard and myself along with it. He steadies me from behind with his palms on my arms, his breath puffing out against my hair before he lets me go and stomps around to the driver抯 side.
It抯 after ten PM, but it抯 a Saturday night and the L.A. traffic behaves accordingly. We sit in baited silence, crawling along the freeway for twenty minutes梐nd probably just as many yards梑efore I cave.
揗eyer, I抦 sorry. But listen, you really don抰 need to do this if you don抰 want to. I don抰 want to burden you with me any more than I already do.?
He responds with a scoff.
揥hat?! I抦 telling you that you抮e off the hook!?I say.
揑抦 not playing into your bullshit, Fee. You抮e not a burden and you damn well know it. I agreed to do this, so I am doing it. Your success is my success, too, and I want you to have this.?
揟hen why are you so angry about it? I抦 wondering if I should start to get offended.?
揥ell, wouldn抰 that be something? I can抰 even imagine it. You, offended??
揗eyer.?
揓ones.?
揓ust tell me what抯 going through your head. Please.?
He sighs and hazards a glance my way. 揥hat if you meet someone? I worry that you already spend all your time with Hazel and me as it is. You抮e young, beautiful, and clearly have a bright future ahead of you.?
My brain does me a solid and decides not to process him calling me beautiful, for now. Traditionally sweet compliments outside of my work make me want to break out in hives. 揑 am on the verge of officially making it, Meyer. Of positioning myself to do whatever I want in this business. It would be the wrong time for me to meet someone, anyway. Not to mention, I love spending my time with you guys, and you damn well know that.?I also just love you, but you don抰 need to know that. Ever. 揂lso, can you stop acting like you抮e ancient, grandpa? For fuck抯 sake, Meyer. You抮e a catch, too, and I don抰 see you doing anything about it.?
揥hy would I when I have a hot twenty-something clinging to my side all the time??
I scoff, repeatedly, lamely, scrounging to respond.
揓esus, Jones. Listen to yourself. You can抰 even handle when I pretend flirt with you. How are we supposed to date? You don抰 think they抮e going to expect us to be flirtatious, at least? Affectionate, even??
Oh, God.
揑 didn抰 know you were testing me!?
揥ell, if we抮e doing this, you抮e going to have to commit to the bit here, Jonesy. It抯 already October, so my guess is that they抣l expect this little dog and pony show to begin as early as November if the tour is going to start in March.?
揙h, I抣l commit to the bit so hard, don抰 you fucking worry.?I feel my anger growing now, even though I can抰 pinpoint why. I抳e conquered too much to get to this point, mastered too much doubt to make it here. Only a little left to go. The least I can do is pretend to date the man I抦 probably in love with but keep at arms length because of the combination of my emotional stuntedness and my respect for our friendship.
揋ood, you better, because so am I,?he shakes his head.
揝o hard,?I confirm.
揙h, you don抰 even know how hard, Jones,?he says deeply, slowly, deliciously.
My mouth falls open as heat floods my face, and I turn to him. I can just make out his satisfied smile in the darkened car, the lights from the surrounding traffic and the city reflecting and throwing their colors on his face.
He catches my expression and starts to laugh. Actual rumbling, continuous laughter.
I抦 momentarily suspended between shock and indignation before his laugh catches on and I start up, too.
When it dies down, he reaches across the console and grabs my hand. 揥e抮e going to be fine, Fee. You deserve to be on that tour and for it to be big. We抣l be fine. Let抯 just?be careful around Hazel, though. I don抰桰 don抰 want to get her hopes up or confuse her.?
The warmth from his hand travels up my arm, through my chest and the rest of me. This makes four times in one night now. And how pathetic is it that I am counting? That my heart feels like it抯 one of those speed bags being rapidly pummeled just by glimpsing this flirty side.
There抯 been a maybe, before. A few nights here and there where his guard was down and friendly remarks felt heated. One particular drunken night in Vegas that still makes its rounds in my dreams. I can抰？don抰？trust that it wasn抰 just me reading into things, though. That it wasn抰 just emotions amplified by drinks and a clumsy tumble that pressed us close?He抎 been such a wreck that night. I shift mental gears away from the memories.
揑抎 never, ever do anything to even risk hurting her in any way, Meyer. I promise. And if this gets to be卼oo much厀e抣l stop it. Without question. Deal??
揇eal.?
He takes his hand back, and it takes every ounce of self-preservation in my soul not to grab it back and remind him how committed I am to this bit.
He wakes me up when we pull into the garage at his house. 揓ones. We抮e home.?
揌mm? G扐lright. Thnsfertheride,?I slur through a yawn.
揋uest bedroom is set. Marissa got you the bath stuff you like,?he grumbles.
揘ah, I抦 fine. I抣l get home and out of your hair,?I reply, forcing the words out clearly and stretching my eyelids open.
揇on抰 be weird about it, Fee.?
揧eah, okay,?I concede.
We head in, as quietly as we can since Marissa, Myer抯 all-encompassing, worth-every-penny help, is asleep in her designated room over in the same wing as Hazel. I head to the hallway on the opposite side of the house where the master and guest suite are found.
I抦 hyper-aware of our steps being in time with each other, of the heat coming off his body as we walk side by side, until we approach the split and need to part ways.
搾Night, My.?
揋oodnight, Fee.?
38 MONTHS AGO
揗y focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.?- Jim Carrey
MEYER
揧ou sure you抮e up for a late night??I ask a freshly dried and changed Hazel. She keeps staring at her hand, so I have to get her attention and ask a second time.
揂nd you抮e sure you don抰 mind going to this on your birthday??
揇ad, stop asking. This will be fun.?
We get back to the club and I order Haze a Shirley Temple before we snag a table. As soon as we sit, Farley appears from the ether, visibly percolating with excitement.
揧ou weren抰 full of shit!?she says （and signs）， and I sigh tiredly as Hazel snickers.
揘ot full of shit, no. Please, though, something tells me to ask you not to sign during your set??
揘o worries, not in my plan tonight. I do hope she抣l still have fun, though??she asks, nodding down to Hazel.
揝he抯 great. She抣l be locked into a game on my phone in no time, I抦 sure.?
揙kay, then.?she laughs. The auburn in her long hair brings out the similar color in her eyes. She抯 changed and dried as well, now wearing a maroon sweater that clings to small curves.
Nope. Absolutely not, you lecher. You are here in a professional capacity, only.
She sprints over behind the bar and comes back with a bowl of cherries that she plops down in front of Hazel before flitting back to the stage.