It’s okay. Just concentrate on us.
“Listen, I’m just trying to keep my brother alive here. If that makes me the bad guy, then so be it. I’ll take that title and all the shit that comes with it on the chin for him. Because he can’t do this, Edel. He can’t take another person sucking the life out of him.”
I love you, Joey Lynch.
“Have you ever considered that she might be the one pouring life into him?”
Ride or die, Joe.
“I know what I’m talking about. He can’t cope with her right now. He just watched our mother’s body being dragged from our childhood home! He needs to be in rehab, not playing house with a teenage girl!”
“Darren love, I know your heart is in the right place, but I have to tell you that I think you’re going about this all wrong. Keeping them apart will only backfire on you in the long run.”
“I don’t care! He’s going to rehab, he’s agreed to go, and I’m not going to stand by and allow her to put notions in his head and make him change his mind.”
“This is going to backfire on you.”
“I don’t care. Joe? It’s me, Dar. Can you hear me? I need you to sign these forms for me, okay? I can’t do it for you, buddy. You’re over eighteen. You’ll have to sign yourself in.”
Whoever was sitting to my left reached over and wrapped their arm around my shoulder, and that’s when knew I was broken.
Because I didn’t flinch.
Because it didn’t hurt.
Because I didn’t care.
“Give me a pen,” I managed to say, using every ounce of strength I had left inside of me to lift my head off the table. “I’ll sign.”
“Thank Jesus.”
“You’re doing the right thing, son.”
“Promise me something,” I mumbled.
“Anything, Joey love.”
“I’m so proud of you, Joe.”
Scrawling my name across the page, I released the pen and dropped my head in my hands, feeling like I didn’t have an ounce of life left inside of me. “Promise me you’ll keep her safe from me.”
“Who, Joey love?”
“Molloy.”
YOU CAN’T STOP ME
AOIFE
“It’s not right, Tony,” Mam said, setting a fresh mug of hot chocolate down in front of me on Friday evening. “It’s been four days. The girl has a right to see him.”
“Listen, Trish, I’m not arguing with you here. I don’t think it’s right either,” Dad replied, sinking down at the kitchen table beside me. “But he’s their brother. He’s the eldest. Their parents are dead. We have to respect his wishes. Darren’s doing the best he can under the circumstances to keep the family together.”
Four long days had passed since the fire that had taken the lives of Teddy and Marie Lynch.
Four days in which I had zero contact with Joey.
Four days since my world had fallen apart when I read the words on what could only be described as my boyfriend’s suicide note.
My mind was still reeling.
My heart was in tattered shreds.
All of this I could have handled, if they would just let me see him.
But no, apparently, I wasn’t what Joey needed right now.
According to Darren, I needed to keep my distance and give his brother time to grieve.
Like hell.
Joe wasn’t just grieving.
If they had him holed up in a room somewhere, then he was going through withdrawals.
He was suffering and the fact that I couldn’t get to him made me physically sick.
“Darren is not the patriarch of the Lynch family,” I spat, feeling my stomach twist up in knots. “He’s a piss poor substitute for the only parent those children ever had.”
“Their mother—”
“I’m not talking about their mother, Dad,” I snapped, pushing the mug away from me. “I’m talking about Joe.”
“Well, when Darren phoned, he asked us to keep Aoife away from the funeral on Monday,” Mam said. “Apparently, Joey is going straight to a rehab facility afterwards, and he doesn’t feel that seeing Aoife will be good for him. In case he changes his mind.”
“What the fuck am I?” I demanded, pushing my chair back and standing up. “The devil incarnate?”
Mam sighed heavily. “Aoife…”
“No, Mam, it’s bullshit,” I cried out, hating myself for sounding so weak in that moment. “It’s not fair. I’ve been here the whole time. I didn’t run away. I didn’t check out on Joey. Six years, Mam. For six years, I’ve stayed, and I’ve helped him. I’ve pulled him out of drug dens. I’ve taken needles out of his arm. I’ve begged and borrowed to pay his dealers and keep him safe, and now, because I’m pregnant Darren’s making it out like I’ve caused Joey’s entire downfall.”
“Jesus Christ,” my father choked out, dropping his head in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell us it had gotten that bad?”
“How could I?” I cried. “Look at how you’re reacting now? You would have fired him from the garage and sent him away, and he doesn’t have anyone else!”
“You’re only eighteen,” he bit back, tears filling his eyes. “I don’t want this life for you.”
“He’s only eighteen,” I shot back, trembling. “And he is my life, Dad. He’s my life and I’m his. We’re a family,“ my voice broke, and I sucked in a shuddering breath before squeezing out, “He’s the father of my baby, and Darren’s taking him away from me.”
“Aoife, pet, I know you—” The sound of the doorbell ringing pierced through the kitchen, causing my father to pause and frown at the closed kitchen door. “Are you expecting anyone, Trish?”
“No, love,” Mam replied, patting Dad’s hand. “I expect it’ll be young Casey. She usually comes over at work.”
“Aoife?” Kev called from the hallway a few moments later. “I know you don’t want me to speak to you, but there’s a woman at the door for ya.”
“If it’s another fucking reporter looking for a statement, I’ll lose my mind,” Dad snapped, rising to his feet and stalking out of the kitchen.
All week, we had been bombarded with phone calls from local radio stations and reporters coming to the house, looking for a scoop.
We were a small country, which meant that fire was big news in Cork, it had even made the national news, and the media was disgustingly intrusive about it. Casey even heard a rumor that the national news broadcasters planned to attend the funeral. It was beyond insensitive to six children who had just lost both of their parents – shitty as they were.
Dad returned a few minutes later with a familiar blonde woman in tow. “Trish,” he said, gesturing for the glamorous blonde to join us at the table. “This is Edel Kavanagh.”
“Hello, Trish,” Edel said, offering my mother a soft smile before turning her attention to me. Warm eyes full of sympathy greeted me. “Aoife love, how are you?”
My mouth fell open and I tried to answer, but I couldn’t get the words out. Not when my entire attention was riveted to the small child whose hand she was holding.