Breathe, lad, just breathe.
No, don’t breathe, just hold your breath until you pass the fuck out and stop feeling.
Turning to face my door window, I clenched my eyes shut and did just that.
Forcing my shoulders to relax, I allowed myself to absorb the feeling like I had been taught to.
I took it all in, while focusing on my breathing, the steady beat of my heart. Channeling in on my senses, I concentrated on the feel, and smell, and taste of fresh air.
Finally, it passed.
“I’ve been calling Aoife,” I offered up out of thin air, surprising myself with the admission. “Every day since I earned my phone privileges.”
“Oh?” Edel’s eyes lit up. “And how’s that been going for you?”
“Well, she’s been answering every time.”
“Psssh.” Edel batted the air. “As if she wouldn’t.”
“It’s more than I deserve,” I admitted, angling myself to face her. “She’s incredible.”
“She’s a little firecracker alright,” Edel mused, smiling indulgently. “She sure has her heart set on you, Joey love.”
“Yeah.” I shivered. “The feeling’s mutual.”
“I presume she doesn’t know you’re getting out today,” Edel noted. “Otherwise, she would be in the car with me.”
“No, I wanted to surprise her,” I replied. “She thinks I’m not getting out until Wednesday.” Grimacing, I added, “Before school starts back on Thursday.”
“Ah, she’ll be buzzing.”
“Doubt her old man will be.”
“Don’t you worry about anyone else,” she was quick to soothe. “You focus on your girlfriend and that little bundle about to arrive and everything else will fall into place.”
“Do the kids know?” I asked. “About the baby? Did you tell them?”
“Apparently, Tadhg’s known all along,” she surprised me by saying.
I frowned. “What?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded. “That boy is as sharp as a razor.”
“Well, shit.”
“The rumors were rampant around town after you left, love, so I had to speak to the family about it.”
“How did they take it?”
Edel grinned. “Ollie’s thrilled to pieces. Tadhg’s…Tadhg. Shannon’s been non-stop shopping for baby clothes. Johnny and Gerard have been stocking up on preventative measures, and Seany? Well, he’s a little young to grasp the concept of being an uncle.”
“Really?”
“Really,” she confirmed with a nod. “They’re worried for their brother, but they’re delighted that they’re gaining a sister in Aoife, and a little niece or nephew.”
“Nephew.”
“It’s a boy?” she squealed, almost crashing the car with excitement.
“Jesus Christ, eyes on the road, please,” I strangled out. “And no, we don’t know. It’s just a hunch. But I can feel it in my bones.”
“You know, funny you say that because your Nanny said the same thing.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, she’s fairly perceptive.”
“She’s clearly not the only one,” Edel replied. “Right, when we get home, I’m putting a bet on with John. If your gut says boy, and Nanny’s gut say boy, then I’m going with it.”
“A wager for money?” I arched a brow. “Why?”
“I never said for money,” she replied with a mischievous wink.
Jesus.
Forcing myself not to gag, I steered the conversation back to safer waters. “I thought they wouldn’t take it well.”
“Who, the kids?”
I nodded.
“Why so, Joey love?”
“Because despite my best efforts, I made the age-old mistake of following in our father's footsteps." Shaking my head, I looked at my siblings’ foster mother and shook my head. "Because I turned my girlfriend into our mother."
"No, love, you didn’t," she replied, reaching across the console to ruffle my hair affectionately. “Because Aoife is in no way similar to your mother, and you, my big-hearted boy, don’t have a Teddy Lynch bone in your body.”
“I already told you that I’m not interested in any of this,” I reminded her, squirming in discomfort when she squeezed my cheek. “I’m not your boy.”
“And I already told you that we’re keeping you,” she chuckles. “Finders keepers, Joey love. You’re mine now.”
Jesus.
FULL TERM
AOIFE
“Well, good news, your cervix is favorable,” the doctor said, tossing his gloves in the nearby bin. “The baby’s head is engaged. That bloody show you experienced this morning. That was your mucus plug. I wouldn’t be surprised if you delivered in the next twenty-four hours.”
“Twenty-four hours?” Mam exclaimed. “That soon? But she’s not due for another three weeks.”
“Only 5% of babies are delivered on their due date, and this baby is measuring on the larger side, which aligns with why she’s already two centimeters dilated,” he replied. “It could take several more days. Another week, even. Babies are unpredictable, but in my experience, your daughter is a prime candidate to deliver sooner rather than later.”
“Can you slow it down, doc?” Perched on the examination table, with my legs hanging open, and my dignity back in Ballylaggin, I pulled up on my elbows and pleaded with the man in green scrubs “I’m not due for another three weeks and my boyfriend doesn’t get back into town until Wednesday night.”
“Aoife,” Mam sighed. “It doesn’t work that way, pet.”
“Baby comes when baby is ready,” the doctor replied. “And I’m hedging towards baby being ready, Aoife.”
“Well, I don’t care what either of you say,” I grumbled, rolling off the examination table and adjusting my maxi-dress. “I’m not having the baby until Joe gets home.”
“Hey, waddles,” Casey called out, as she leaned against the side of my father’s van in the hospital carpark, basking in the warm summer’s afternoon. “How’s our baby coming along?”
“Don’t start,” I grumbled, heaving my over-sized inmate across the carpark. “It’s too damn hot and I’m suffering from a serious case of electric shocks to the fanny.”
“Lightning crotch,” Mam corrected, as she unlocked the van. “Please, love, I know you’re cranky, but try not to be so vulgar.”
“Lightning crotch.” Casey grinned. “Oooh, sounds kinky.”
“You know what’s not kinky, Case? Having a geriatric obstetrician ram his entire hand inside of your fan —”
“Aoife!”
“Vagina,” I amended with a huff.
“Are we talking an entire fist here?” my best friend asked, as she helped hoist me into the van.
“We’re talking an entire fist, arm, and elbow!”
“I hope he wore a glove.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Aoife,” Mam chuckled, climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. “It was a standard internal, love, not calving season at old MacDonald’s farm. If you think that was bad, just you wait until you’re delivering. It’ll be carnage down there.”