“What’s going on?”
“I’m so…” Swallowing back a sob, she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. “Sorry.”
“For what?” I didn’t recognize my own voice, as I watched her watch me, feeling unsettled and on edge. “What the fuck is happening here? What are they talking about?”
“I’ve been trying to tell you,” she strangled out, as she reached up and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I did tell you, but you for…” Her voice cracked, “got.“ She dragged in several shaky breaths before trying again, “I’m so sorry, Joe.” Clutching her face between her hands, she shook her head and choked out a sob. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Stop saying sorry, Molloy,” I snapped, holding a shaky hand up, as I resisted the urge to fucking scream. “I don’t hate you, but you need to just… just tell me what’s going on here.”
I watched with my heart in my mouth, and a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, as my girlfriend pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and strangled out the words that would forever turn my world on its axis.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant.” How I got the word out, I would never know, but I said it, and I managed to keep my tone level in the process. “You’re pregnant.”
Trembling, she kept her hand pressed to her forehead like a shield and nodded weakly.
“Pregnant.”
A pained sob escaped her. “Yes.”
“You’re pregnant.”
“Yes.”
“You’re saying you’re pregnant,” I heard myself repeat like an idiot, as my heart jackknifed in my chest. “Pregnant with a baby, pregnant.”
“Yes, Joey, I’m saying I’m pregnant with a baby,” she snapped, and then choked out another sob. “So just stop saying the word pregnant. Jesus!”
“I’m sorry, I’m just…” I tilted my head to one side, feeling a mixture of disbelief and confusion, as I waited for her to break out of character and yell got you. “Are you fucking with me?”
“I did fuck you,” she ground out, looking flustered. “Many times. That’s precisely the problem.”
“You’re not messing, are you?” I choked out, thoroughly fucking rattled, as I felt myself sag against the wall at my back. “You’re seriously…” I shook my head and gaped at her. “Pregnant?”
The tears in her eyes assured me that this was no joke.
Jesus Christ.
My brows furrowed as a surge of raw, undiluted terror coursed through my veins. “How?”
She gave me a look that said how do you think?
“But you’re on the pill.”
“I know, and I’ve never skipped or missed a day, I swear,” Molloy urged, hand still shielding her face. “But it was that house party. The one those Tommen boys threw.” She shivered violently before adding, “I spent the whole night puking. And that following evening, too, remember? After we ordered that Chinese when we were babysitting Sean? Remember I was sick for hours afterwards? It must have messed with my birth control.”
“The Tommen party?” My heart slammed wildly against my ribcage. “Jesus Christ, Aoif. That was months ago.”
She flinched. “I know, Joe.”
Blowing out a shaky breath, I ran my hand through my hair, completely fucking reeling. “Exactly how pregnant are you?”
“Joe.”
“Tell me.”
“About three and a half months.”
“Three and a half months!” My eyes widened and the panic I was feeling multiplied by about three and a half months’ worth. “Three and a half fucking months and I’m only hearing about it now?”
“I was scared, okay,” she cried out defensively. “And I didn’t know myself until a few weeks ago. I tried to tell you a million times, I swear, but I was just so fucking scared, Joe. I was terrified of sending you off the deep end again. You were doing so well, and I just… I didn’t want to risk that. But then everything with your father happened and you went off the deep end anyway—"
“Oh, my fucking god.” My stomach heaved and I had to press a hand to my chest to steady myself. “He did that to you while you were pregnant with my baby?”
“Joe, it’s—"
“He did that to you.” Heart hammering wildly in my chest, I squeezed out, “He hurt you when you were… are. Jesus Christ, you are. “
“When I finally did work up the courage to tell you, you weren’t even present.”
“What?” I demanded, hoarse. “When?”
“The other day,” she admitted brokenly. “But you were strung out.”
Heart gunning in my chest, I tried to wrangle in my raging fucking panic, as words from a conversation I couldn’t fucking remember flashed through my mind.
“We’re having a baby.”
”Where’s the baby?”
“In here.”
“In you? What’s it doing in there?”
“You put it there, Joe.”
”And you’re sure there’s no mistake?” I asked, out of sheer desperation. “You’re definitely pregnant?”
“I’ve taken a ton of tests and they’ve all come back positive,” she replied, eyes wide and full of uncertainty. “And Mam took me to the GP last week to confirm it.”
“Your mam?” Her words were like a slap across the face. “Hold the fuck up.” Shaking my head in my desperate attempt to make sense of the madness, I held a hand up and said, “You told your mam before you told me?”
Grimacing, she offered me a small nod. “I’m sorry.”
“Who else?”
“Joe.”
“Who else did you tell before me, Aoife?”
“Casey knows,” she admitted quietly. “But only because she guessed. I swear, I wouldn’t have told her if she hadn’t figured it out.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, so, let me get this straight.” Pressing my fingers to my temples, I strived for calm while my entire fucking world shattered around me. “You, Casey, and Trish have been walking around for the past few weeks, knowing that we’re going to have a baby when I didn’t?”
“It wasn’t like that, Joe.”
“Does your old man know?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I swear.”
“What about Ricey and Danielle?” I demanded, voice torn. “I’m guessing those two are also in the loop, considering the shade they were throwing in class. Did you tell your ex before me, too?”
“No,” she snapped. “Of course I didn’t. Don’t be so ridiculous.”
“I just found out that you’re pregnant during double fucking Maths, Molloy. How else am I supposed to react?”
“I don’t know how Paul found out,” she cried, shaking her head. “Kev must have told him.”
“Kev?” My eyes bulged. “Kev. Fucking Kev?”
Her eyes widened in horror. “Joe.”
“Your brother knows?” I shook my head. “I don’t believe this.”