“Shit, that’s great,” Marty says.
I go to agree, but my stomach gets tight and distracts me.
“Yeah.” Payne runs a hand through his hair. “I feel great, you know? Like, things are starting to happen for me.” He catches my eye. “Good things.”
Good things? The dread loosens. “I’m really happy for you.”
Even if I have no idea what that means for our living arrangements, it doesn’t matter. If Payne’s happy, that’s all I need.
We walk along, with Payne filling us in on how his week has been at the garage, and the whole time, I can tell that Marty wants to ask me something. I already know it will be about Lee, and I’m dreading it. Maybe Payne feels the questions coming too, though, because he doesn’t let Marty get a word in.
“And the number of times I pick up something covered in oil when—”
“Fascinating,” Marty says over the top of him. “But that’s enough work talk for one day. Beau, how was your date last weekend? And that’s mostly rhetorical because Lee has been walking around the office like a kicked puppy.”
Ouch. I should never have agreed to go out with him. That wasn’t fair. But I also called him immediately after to let him know there wasn’t anything there between us. It was one date, where he shouldn’t have wanted to see me again either, so the moping is a bit overboard.
“How does that look exactly?” Payne asks. “Like is he limping? Whimpering? Staggering sideways?”
“Sad, Payne. He’s sad.”
“And why is that Beau’s problem?”
“And why is this your business?” Marty turns back to me. “Come on, out with it. What was wrong with this one?”
I don’t want to answer because anything I say will sound like I’m making excuses, but Marty won’t let this drop. “He ordered for me. Stuff I didn’t like.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And he wouldn’t stop touching me.”
Marty jerks back. “Like, inappropriately?”
“No, just … my hand and my back and my face.”
“It was a date. What was he supposed to do? Build a twenty-foot wall between you?”
“If Beau doesn’t want to be touched, he shouldn’t be touched, end of story.”
Marty levels Payne with a look. “He told me about you. An asshole? Since when are you an asshole? What was up with that?”
Payne shrugs and turns away, leaving Marty to eye him for a second before refocusing back on me.
“Did you ask him not to touch you?”
“Well, no, but I kept moving away.”
“Beau …”
“And he was grumpy when the restaurant was taking too long.”
“I get grumpy when the restaurant takes too long.” He pauses to take a sip of his coffee, but I can hear him thinking. “I don’t understand. You say you want to find someone, but I set you up with these great guys, and you don’t give any of them a chance.”
Payne snorts.
We both ignore him.
“I guess I was wrong. I like being single. Available,” I throw in for Payne’s benefit, but I drop my gaze to where I’m spinning my cup in my hands so I don’t have to see either of their expressions. “Not everyone is built for a relationship, and I’m learning that I’m okay with that. I’m not the dating kind. And that’s fine. I love my life, with or without someone to share it with.”
Let’s see if I’m still saying that once Payne moves out and finds his own place.
“Okay, no more setting you up.”
“Thank you.” When I’m brave enough to look back up, Marty’s giving me a soft smile.
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Good. Because I’m actually really, really happy.”
Marty turns to look at the water, and I take the chance to glance at Payne. He’s already watching me, lips bunched in confusion, so I nudge my shoulder against his.
His expression doesn’t change, and at first I worry what it means, but then …
Payne’s hand closes over my nape. He squeezes gently, skin warm, and his fingers skim my hairline as he pulls away.
Butterflies explode in my gut.
They stick around for the whole walk.
I try to wait up for Payne to get home from work, but I end up crashing, and when I wake again, it’s 1:00 a.m. Sighing, I haul ass out to my desk, surprisingly well rested and ready to write.
But before I can sit down, my gaze catches on my shelf.
The first book is back, and the second is missing, and there in its place is a yellow crane.
Grinning, I pull it down, but when I read the words, my heart stops.
You’re the most perfectly un-normal person I’ve ever met.
I didn’t fail.
There was nothing to improve.
When my heart starts again, it explodes.
I drop the crane.
And head for Payne’s room.
21
Payne
My door slamming open jolts me awake, and I blink into the darkness to find Beau standing there.
“What time is it?” I ask.
He ignores my question. “Perfectly un-normal?”
It takes me a second to remember I wrote that. All I know is that this week, I’d needed that connection with him, even if we didn’t see each other, and getting those cranes back made my heart feel full. “Ah, yeah …”
“Even when I’m nervous and don’t know what to say?”
“Of course.” It’s adorable.
“And when I ask strange questions?” His voice cracks as he steps closer.
The intensity in his stare has me answering. “They’re entertaining.”
“And when you find I’ve taken over the living area with every piece of furniture in the house?” Beau’s final step brings his thighs into contact with my bed.
My heartbeat kicks up a notch, and I find myself answering honestly. “I think moments like that are my favorite.”
Beau doesn’t respond. He isn’t nervously fidgeting. He’s … calm. Certain.
He leans forward and crawls on my bed. The air is humming between us. “I want to kiss you.”
Fuck, I want that too.
“Beau …” I want it so much more than I can ever tell him.
He lowers himself so his chest rests on mine. He’s warm. Solid. His breath puffs against my lips. “I’m going to kiss you. Unless you tell me to stop.”
“I …”
“Yeah?”
“I should tell you that.” But my lips are already tingling with anticipation.
He brushes his nose against mine. “So say it.”
“Beau …” My skin feels too tight. Too tense. His scent is filling my nose and sending rational thought from my brain until all I can concentrate on is the thrumming need racing through me, begging me to get closer to him. Goddamn him. “I can’t.”
His mouth slams against mine.
My grunt is immediately swallowed by the heated kiss. I need this. Every part of me has been begging for it. Just another taste, another touch, another night with his skin against mine. Only this time I want to make it a whole night. This time I want to be pressed against him everywhere.
I tighten my arms around him and flip us so Beau is on his back. The sheet falls off my waist, and this time when I cover him, our bodies line up exactly.