揑 think death, even when it抯 expected, still feels sudden. It抯 so final.?
She nods woodenly. 揗ost everything is already taken care of as far as funeral expenses and all that, but I just棓 She rests her head in her hand. 揑 don抰 want to deal with any of it. Even the small decisions, but I can抰 burden Georgia with all of it. She抯 already pregnant and with two little ones.?
揑抣l help you. Whatever you need, I抣l help.?
揑 know.?
揑抦 going to make breakfast, then I抣l go get your things. If you decide you want to eat, that抯 great, but right now I won抰 force you.?
She arches a brow. 揗eaning there might come a point where you do force me??
揅oerce might be a better word. I can be very persuasive.?
揑s that so??
揗hmm,?I hum, turning away from her to open the refrigerator, searching for something to make. 揑 have my ways.?
She gives a soft laugh. I抦 glad I can manage to bring her some sort of amusement through her grief.
Pulling out the eggs and some vegetables I already have chopped I get to work on some omelets. I don抰 ask her how she抎 like hers. I just make one, then slide it in front of her. Grabbing a fork from the drawer I set it beside the plate, take one for myself, and sit down beside her.
揑t smells good. Thank you.?
揧ou抮e welcome.?I dig into mine, not pushing her to eat. Surprisingly, she takes a bite and a few more until half is gone. That抯 all she manages to get down, but it抯 way more than I expected so I count it as a win.
Cleaning up the dishes, I let her sit quietly. After washing my hands, I nod upstairs. 揥hy don抰 you go up and shower? I抣l go get your clothes and stuff.?
揟hat抎 be great, thanks.?
She slides off the barstool, slowly leaving the kitchen. I wait to leave until I hear the shower start up.
The front door is unlocked to her mom抯 house. In some places, that would be a scary thing. But Hawthorne Mills is a town with so low of a crime rate it almost doesn抰 seem real. Small towns might be filled with nosy people, but they抮e good for some things too.
Upstairs, I find her room easily since I know it has to be at the front of the house. I scoop up a bag, tossing random clothes inside, and then head to the bathroom. Her toothbrush and toothpaste are on the rim of the porcelain sink. I stuff those in the bag along with some hairbands. I shove the shower curtain aside, swiping her shampoo and conditioner.
If there抯 anything else I missed, I抣l have to come back later.
When I get back to my house and upstairs, she抯 still in the shower. I pull out her shampoo and conditioner figuring she抎 prefer that over my man smelling ones.
揝alem??
She eases open the glass door. 揧eah??
揑 brought these for you.?
揙h, thanks.?She takes them from me.
I grab her chin before she can shut the door.
揧our eyes. You抳e been crying again.?She nods, lower lip trembling. 揃aby,?I murmur, cupping her cheeks in my hands.
揥ill you get in here with me? No funny business.?She laughs brokenly, lifting her hands innocently. 揑 mean it. I抣l be on my best behavior.?
揂ll right.?I let her go and step back, slipping out of my sleep pants. My dick is already hard, but I mean with a naked wet Salem right in front of me what do you expect? 揑gnore him.?I point at my cock. 揌e has a mind of his own.?
She giggles, the sound surprisingly genuine. 揑 don抰 want to be alone.?
Taking her face in my hands, I press my forehead to hers beneath the spray of the rain shower. 揂s long as my heart beats, you are never alone in this world.?
She swallows thickly. 揑 love you too, Thayer.?
She heard me last night.
揘o funny business,?I promise, 揵ut I really need to kiss you.?
She nods eagerly, like that抯 exactly what she needs. I kiss her. 揑 love you.?I kiss her again. 揑 love you.?I kiss each of her cheeks, murmuring those three words. 揑 love you.?I kiss her forehead and then I just hold her for a few minutes.
When I let her go, I motion for her to turn around. She doesn抰 protest. Grabbing her shampoo bottle I lather the soap in my hands and then gently massage it into her scalp.
Sex is intimate, there抯 no denying it, but these are the raw, real, intimate moments that build your foundation. When you love someone, you take care of them in whatever way they need. Once her hair is washed, I grab my body wash since I didn抰 see hers back at her house and pour it onto a loofah. I wash and clean her body, making it completely non-sexual because that抯 not what she needs right now. She just needs to be cared for.
Stepping out of the shower I wrap her in a clean towel. I wrap another around my waist.
She exhales a shaky breath. 揟hank you.?
揧ou don抰 have to do that梩hank me for everything.?
揃ut I want you to know what it means to me.?
揃elieve me,?I say slowly, carefully. 揑 know. I see it in the way you look at me. In how you say my name. The way you smile when I say something. I know, baby. I抳e always known.?
She waddles forward in her towel. I know what she wants without asking. Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her. She soaks in my touch like it抯 a lifeline. I would be lying if I didn抰 say I wasn抰 doing the same with hers.
Six years ago, this smiley blonde woman wormed her way into my cold, angry heart and made it hers. I抳e never wanted it back. I still don抰。 But I do want to give her even more. When she抯 ready.
CHAPTER 32
SALEM
I step inside the funeral home梩he same one Forrest抯 service was held at. A shiver runs down my spine. I hate it here. I didn抰 think I would ever set foot in this place again. I didn抰 want to. I guess the universe had other plans.
Thayer抯 hand tightens against my waist. This is hard for him, but he refuses to be anywhere but at my side. I told him repeatedly that he didn抰 need to come for this, but he was adamant that he was going.
I抦 thankful he抯 here, for his support, but I would understand if he couldn抰 face this.
The casket sits at the end of the aisle, the seats full of people. I expected no one to show up and instead the whole town is here.
I was supposed to be here earlier, but I just couldn抰 do it.
So, now I抦 late. My sister sits at the front with her family but stands when she sees me.
揌ey.?She eyes Thayer behind me but says nothing. She looks pleased though. 揑 was getting worried about you.?
揑抦 sorry.?I reach to push hair behind my ear and realize that it抯 all pulled back in a low bun. I let my hand fall awkwardly to my side. It抯 not left hanging for long. Thayer entwines our fingers, giving my hand a small squeeze. 揑 didn抰 mean to be late. I just厰
揑t抯 okay. I get it.?
揅aleb and Seda will be here soon.?
There抯 still twenty minutes until the service is set to begin.
揑f we need to wait, we will,?Georgia assures me. 揇o you want to see her??
I glance for a second at the open casket. 揘-No,?I stutter.
I know for some people it brings them comfort seeing their loved one, but not me. That抯 not my mom. That抯 a shell. Everything that made that body my mom is gone. Her spirit has left this realm. I hope she抯 saying hi to Forrest and carving pumpkins with him. Maybe they抮e looking down at us right now while drinking cups of hot chocolate.
揂ll right.?Georgia doesn抰 argue with my choice. 揧ou guys are to sit right there. Caleb and Seda will sit with you.?She points out the spot reserved for us, and I nod gratefully.
My sister knows now all about my past with Thayer, that he抯 Seda抯 biological father. She wasn抰 surprised. She said she never knew for sure, but she had suspected. Apparently I抦 way more of an open book than I thought.