揑 mean, I guess, yeah. I hadn抰 even thought about it.?
揑抣l add him to the list.?I reach for a bag when she catches my arm. 揧ou know, I love to give you a hard time, but I抦 happy for you. You and him厰 Her eyes drift to where he has Seda draped over his shoulder, spinning her around, 揳nyone can see it抯 special. I抦 glad you got this second chance. Not everyone gets that. You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know.?
I throw my arms around her, squeezing my best friend tight. I miss living closer to her. 揟hank you.?
揈w,?she playfully shoves me off, 搚ou抮e giving me cooties.?
I stick my tongue out at her. 揧ou wish.?
揝ave them for Thayer. I抦 pretty sure that man loves your cooties.?
揕auren!?I shriek, swatting her arm.
She just grabs a bag and cackles all the way into the house.
The next day, Lauren抯 heading back to Manhattan. I抦 so happy she was able to come out梥he said she had intended to be in early enough for the funeral, but her flight from Chicago got delayed; her fianc?has another place there where they stay sometimes depending on what he抯 doing with work.
I hug her tight beside the rental car梐lready loaded with her suitcase thanks to Thayer.
揑 don抰 want you to go.?
揑 don抰 want to go either, but I抣l see you soon for dress fittings and then it抯 Vegas time, baby!?She lets me go, doing a little wiggle.
Thayer arches a brow. I haven抰 had a chance to fill him in on the wedding and all the details, but with Lauren heading back to New York we抣l have more time. Plus, we抮e taking Seda back to Boston today. I wanted to keep her longer, but Caleb and I are still trying to figure out this whole system. Plus, I need to start cleaning out my mom抯 house and it抣l be easier if Seda isn抰 around, just because she抣l get into everything. Regardless, it already feels like a piece of my heart is missing and she isn抰 even gone yet.
揕ove you, girly,?I kiss Lauren抯 cheek, 搒ee you soon.?
揇on抰 be a stranger.?She winks playfully, trying to mask the tears in her eyes.
Standing on the driveway, I wave as she backs out and drives away. Thayer comes up behind me, putting his hand on my shoulder. Winnie barks in the yard, chasing after Seda. They both wear matching rainbow tutus that Thayer sewed himself梩alk about swoon.
揑抦 sorry she had to leave so soon.?His voice is deep and husky beside my ear.
I exhale, trying not to be too upset about it. 揑t抯 okay. I抦 happy she came at all.?
That抯 what means the most, knowing my friend came to support me during this time.
揥e haven抰 had a chance to talk about the other thing.?
I turn to face him, brows wrinkling. 揥hat thing??
揟he one I wanted to talk to you about.?
揙h.?Clarity comes to me. 揜ight. What was it??
揥hen we drop Seda off, I was thinking you could get more of your things, Binx too, and厰
揂nd what??I prompt.
He ducks his head, his shaggy hair hiding his eyes from my view. 揇o you want to move in with me??His cheeks turn bright red like he抯 embarrassed and nervous. I think I love seeing him flustered way too much. Thayer is normally the definition of cool, calm, and collected, but this has him feeling floundered.
揧ou want me to live with you??He nods. 揕ike share the same bed? My hair clogging your shower, clothes on the floor, my crap taking over yours梩hat kind of live together??
He nods again. 揑t makes sense, right? Why wait??
He has a point. I mean, I did throw my birth control away. We had another conversation about it that night. He wanted to make sure I was clear headed and making a sound decision. I wasn抰 that drunk that morning, I drank way less than Lauren it just makes me feel foggy-headed, but it made me happy that Thayer always puts me first and understands how important my consent is.
I glance next door at my teenage childhood home. I don抰 want to live there. It抯 not that it holds bad memories梞y dad never lived there梑ut it doesn抰 feel like mine. It reminds me of her, and I don抰 think I could ever do anything to change that. The best course of action is to clean it up, fix some small things, and sell it. Georgia and I can split the money and it抣l help out both of us.
The store is a different situation. I know it抯 stupid to keep it, makes no logical sense, but I have way more trouble parting with it than the house.
揧es,?I say softly, then a bit louder I add, 揑抣l move in with you.?
His smile starts small, then it grows into a full-blown grin. He doesn抰 say anything. Instead, he scoops me into his arms, spinning me around and around. My feet lift off the ground and I giggle.
He sets me down, cupping my cheeks. 揑 swear to God, Sunshine, I抦 going to make you the happiest woman on the planet.?He doesn抰 give me a chance to respond. Slanting his mouth over mine he kisses me deeply.
Some people never find this kind of love in a lifetime. I found it at eighteen, lost it for a while, and now I抦 never letting it條etting him梘o.
CHAPTER 37
SALEM
I could tell Caleb was sad when I packed up more of my stuff and took Binx with me. I told him why and there was the briefest flash of pain in his eyes before he forced a smile and said he was happy for me. I don抰 like that I抦 always breaking his heart, but I remind myself we抮e divorced now, and we were both going to move on eventually.
One day, he抣l find his person, and then he抣l understand.
I抦 hanging up a dress in Thayer抯 closet when he comes in, wrapping his hands around me from behind. He smells like sweat, earth, and cigarette smoke from his day on the job site. He doesn抰 smoke anymore, at least that抯 what he says, but some of the guys he works with do.
揑 missed you.?He lays his head on my shoulder. His hands go to my stomach. 揇o you think you抮e pregnant yet??
I giggle, swaying out of his arms so I can turn to face him. 揧ou抮e obsessed with knocking me up out of wedlock, aren抰 you??I can抰 help but joke. Truth be told, I don抰 feel the need for him to propose. Now that we抮e together again I know everything will happen in the timeline it抯 supposed to.
He looks me over with a half-smile. 揊uck yeah. I love the thought of you round with my child.?I roll my eyes. He grabs my hips, gently pulling me into his space. He towers over me, so I angle my head back to see him. 揑 didn抰 get to see you the first time. I didn抰 get to feel her kick or take you to doctor抯 appointments. I want that.?
I wet my lips, feeling shame.
He cups my cheek, forcing me to look at him when I try to drop my gaze. 揇on抰 do that. Don抰 hide what you抮e feeling from me. I want us to be honest with each other, always. That抯 when things get tough, when you hide things, or lie about how you feel.?
I sigh, my shoulders feeling impossibly heavy. 揑 wish you could抳e been there too and I feel awful that you didn抰 get to be.?
揧ou did the best thing,?he reminds me for the umpteenth time. 揑 wasn抰 ?I couldn抰 have been the man, the father, I needed to be back then. You knew that.?He rubs his thumb over my cheek. 揑 refuse to let you have regrets, because we have right now. I get to wake up every day with you in my arms. I get to hear Seda running in the halls when she抯 here. Winnie and Binx get to be best friends.?I laugh at that, because surprisingly they are. My black cat and the corgi like to sleep together on the couch. 揂nd one day, whenever it抯 meant to happen, I抣l get to hear our crying baby down the hall.?
A tear leaks out of the corner of my eye. He quickly swipes it with his pointer finger.
揘ow,?he grabs my hand, 揷ome shower with me.?He grins wickedly, eyes dark with desire.