This man deserves everything, and I hope I抦 the one who can give it to him.
I take a seat on the bench, and he joins me.
Closing my eyes, I lay my head on his shoulder.
I feel at peace. Despite the chaos of our lives, the turmoil, the ups and downs, and everything it took to get us to this point, I feel thankful in a strange way. Thankful that we抮e here, together, and didn抰 let the bad things break us.
We sit there, together, as the sun sets, watching Seda speak to her grandma and brother, leaving her flowers trailing behind her, our hands clasped together.
I get a flash of what Thayer spoke about one time, of sitting on the front porch swing one day, watching our grandchildren run around the yard.
And I smile.
CHAPTER 51
SALEM
It抯 a strange thing, hosting Thayer抯 family for the Thanksgiving holiday. Of course I know Laith, not well but enough, but I don抰 know his parents at all. Not really, in my opinion. We抳e been FaceTiming with them weekly since Thayer first broke the news to them of our relationship, past, and Seda, but it抯 been awkward getting to know them that way, and I fear they won抰 like me. After all, I kept their grandchild a secret for six years. I could understand if there was animosity. But when the car shows up, Laith driving since he flew all the way to their house in Florida just to drive them here, Thayer抯 mom is all too eager to get out of the car and hug me.
She smells of freesia and her hug feels like home.
揈laine,?I hug her tighter, 搃t抯 so nice to meet you.?
She pulls away slightly, taking me in. 揑t抯 nice to meet you too, sweetheart. My Thayer is different, he抯 happy again. You made him smile again梙is real smile. I can never thank you enough for that.?
Her words touch my heart. Over her shoulder, Thayer meets my eyes with a small, almost shy smile. He抯 been nervous about this, I think because he knew I was feeling that way. Meeting the parents is always an awkward affair.
Seda is next door at Caleb抯 house. The three of us decided it would be best for her to meet her grandparents and uncle tomorrow. Seda is smart, kind, and understanding but this is overwhelming for a girl her age so while we explained they were coming to her, and how they抮e related, we figured we抎 let everyone get settled tonight and introduce her tomorrow.
It抯 been surprisingly easy, adjusting to parenting with three of us, and it抯 actually been nice, and good for Seda, having Caleb next door most weekends.
I thought things might get weird, but they haven抰， and while things haven抰 worked out with the one woman Caleb was seeing, he抯 been dating and is happy. That抯 all I want for him.
揅ome inside,?I tell Elaine. 揑抦 sure you guys want to rest, and dinner is almost ready.?
揟hat would be nice. Laith drives like a maniac. He shaved five years off whatever is left of my life.?
揗om!?Laith yells, having heard her. 揇on抰 say that. I did no such thing.?
She purses her lips, shaking her head. 揌e did. Too much time with that motorcycle of his and now he doesn抰 know how to drive a proper car.?
揂 proper car??He argues, coming up the porch stairs. 揟hat is a minivan, tell me why you and Dad need a minivan.?
揥ell, son,?their dad says, walking up to join us, 搕here抯 more room in the back if you catch what I抦 saying.?
Behind him, Thayer shakes his head, trying not to laugh. Laith抯 eyes widen in horror and he gags.
揊uck, Dad, don抰 say that shit around me. Gross.?
Ignoring Laith, their dad, Douglas, comes up to me, opening his arms for a hug. 揌i, Salem. It抯 so nice to meet you.?
揑t抯 nice to meet you as well.?
We lead everybody inside and let them get settled in the guest bedrooms. While they're resting up, Thayer and I finish dinner. We decided to make lasagna since that was simple enough and put it in the oven earlier. He turns the oven light on, checking on the progress.
揑t should be ready in about thirty minutes.?
揚erfect.?I put the finishing touches on the homemade garlic bread we抣l pop in the oven just before the lasagna is finished cooking.
Thayer pushes a button, turning on the music speaker. A Taylor Swift song comes on from my playlist.
揥hat are you doing??I ask, fighting a smile as he closes the distance between us.
揑 want to dance with my wife. Can抰 I do that??
I don抰 answer him, not with words anyway. I let him take me into his arms, slowly twirling me through the kitchen. As a little girl, I used to wonder if true love existed between a man and woman. My parents certainly weren抰 a good example. My father craved power, control. He didn抰 love my mom, or care about her. To him, she and by extension my sister and me, were a part of an image he wanted to cultivate in the public of being a family man.
It was all a lie.
Behind closed doors he was a monster in more ways than one.
To this day, I抦 glad he抯 gone.
I抳e never shed a single tear for him, but I have shed tears for the little girl I was, who should抳e had a dad who loved and cared for her. Who protected her and showed her how a man treats a woman. Sometimes, that little girl doesn抰 even feel like me. To survive what I did, I had to separate myself mentally from my past. I don抰 know if that抯 how it is for everyone, but that was my coping mechanism.
I feel blessed, that as a teenager, I met Caleb. He was kind, caring梞y best friend. He treated me the way every guy should treat a girl. Then I met Thayer too.
I抳e had two good men in my life to prove to me that they抮e not all like my father.
I know not everyone抯 story plays out like mine.
Thayer continues to sway us to the song, and I lay my head against his chest, listening to the steady pounding of his heart against my ear.
I love this man.
And I抦 thankful every day the universe sent him my way.
He turns us again and I find his parents standing in the entry way to the kitchen, watching us. Each has a wistful expression. I抦 sure after Thayer抯 divorce, and Forrest抯 passing, their worry for their son was beyond what I can imagine.
Sometimes, when you抮e in the midst of tragedy梠f heartbreak梚t can be impossible to see the other side. It抯 like you抮e drowning beneath the weight of your emotions, memories, your very thoughts, but if you just keep going, keep swimming, then eventually you make it to shore. You抮e tired, but stronger, and look at yourself in a new light. I think it抯 our tendency to doubt ourselves, to think we抮e weaker than what we are, but there抯 more in all of us than we realize.
I rest my chin on Thayer抯 chest, looking up at him with all the love I used to think I would never be capable of. Closing my eyes, I rest my head on his chest once more.
I made it.
揗y son,?Elaine begins, whispering quietly so Thayer won抰 hear, 揾e抯 different with you. It抯 beautiful to see.?
揌e is??I ask, taking the macaroni and cheese out of the oven.
She nods, smiling over at him. He stands with Caleb, his brother, Dad, and Seda. His hands are on her shoulders, and she抯 looking up admiring him. It stirs something in me, seeing Seda look at him like that. Their bond has grown naturally, and I know Seda loves him as much as she does Caleb and me.
Thelma and Cynthia sit at the table, watching everything with keen eyes. The two little gossips. We wanted to invite them over, though, because they抳e sort of turned into extended family.
揧ou make him happy.?She sets out the green bean casserole. We抮e lining everything up on the counter buffet style so people can plate themselves and sit in the dining room.