揌e makes me happy.?
揑抳e only ever wanted my boys to be happy. When ?well, when Forrest died, I worried I抎 lose Thayer. A parent抯 grief has to be unimaginable, and I worried he might take his own life. I抦 thankful that he抯 still here, that he抯 doing as well as he is, that he抯 found love. Seda too, she抯 such a blessing. An amazing girl. You抳e done well.?
揧ou don抰 ?you don抰 hate me for keeping her a secret??
Elaine gives me a soft, motherly smile. 揢s mothers will do whatever it takes to protect our babies, so I understand you were only doing what you thought was right. But the past is the past. Let抯 not dwell on it. Not when we have such a beautiful life to live.?
We finish setting out all the dishes and call everyone over. Winnie and Binx toddle over as well, hoping to snag some scraps from the floor. Once everyone has their plates we sit down to eat.
Caleb ends up on my left with Thayer on my right. Seda opts to sit by Laith who I think has quickly become her new favorite person, probably due to the fact that he抯 basically an adult man child and has no problem playing with her.
Thayer clears his throat. 揑 ?uh ?I wanted to say some things before we start eating.?Everyone quiets, and Laith sets down his fork, trying to pretend that he doesn抰 have a mouthful of turkey at the moment. 揑抦 really glad that we抮e all here together. It means a lot to be sitting down with all of you. I抦 thankful to Salem,?he squeezes my hand beneath the table, 揻or giving me a second chance and for becoming my wife. I抦 thankful to you, Caleb, for ?well, for a lot, actually, which probably sounds so strange to you, but ?yeah.?He trails off, clearing his throat. 揗om and Dad, you two have always been a strong presence in my life, showing me how to be a strong, kind-hearted person. Laith ?you suck. Thelma and Cynthia, thank you for joining us for dinner and always being willing to lend a helping a hand. And Seda, I抦 so proud to be your father. You抮e the brightest little girl I know. I抦 so lucky.?He looks around at all of us. 揝o lucky.?
揝ince I suck and all, I抦 going to be the one to say it, you抳e turned into a sappy fuck.?
揘o cussing in front of my kid,?Thayer growls at his brother.
Seda just giggles, not at all fazed by it.
Thayer shakes his head, his eyes meeting mine.
I look from him, to all the people gathered around us. Our family might be unconventional to some, but for us, it抯 perfect.
CHAPTER 52
SALEM
The New Year comes and passes. In a blink it抯 March and the opening of my bakery. To say I'm nervous is an understatement. But as I stand outside looking at the building that was once my mother's antique shop, I can't help but feel a little proud. I think she would be proud of me too. She worked hard to make this place her own, and I've done the same to make it mine.
揟here抯 one last thing it needs,?Thayer says from beside me.
We抮e due to open at noon, and more than a few townspeople have already stopped by to wish me luck and give me flowers.
揥hat is it??
揌old on,?he says, jogging over to his truck.
He returns with a metal sign. It's carved with the name of my shop. In an elegant script font, it says: Sunshine Cupcakes.
I gasp. 揑t抯 beautiful. Did you make this??
He sets it down, going back to grab a ladder. He抯 thought of everything.
揑 did, with help from one of my guys. He does welding on the side as a hobby so I asked him to help me out with this.?
He grabs the rest of his tools and gets to work securing the sign where my mom抯 once was. The spot was bare since I hadn抰 found a sign I liked yet. Leave it to Thayer to fix that problem.
When the sign is secure, he climbs back down and we stand on the sidewalk, taking it in.
揧ou did it, Sunshine.?The pride shines in his eyes. 揧ou found your calling.?
I did. I guess, ironically, I found it a long time ago and I didn抰 want to see it.
Maybe all along, my mom knew what I was meant to do. Perhaps that's why she kept asking me to bake with her. In those final weeks, I would have given her anything that she wanted, even if it meant setting foot in the kitchen and baking cupcakes again. Mothers have a way of always knowing what we need before we do. I suppose in a way this was her final gift to me. And maybe she hoped too that I would keep the shop.
I hope wherever she is, she's happy. I hope she's looking down on us, smiling at me right now. More than anything, I hope she's proud. I miss her so much every day. Even after I moved away, we talked on the phone multiple times a day. I always knew that no matter what, my mom had my back. She was strong even when she thought she was weak. And I know she didn't think that she was worth admiring, but I always looked up to her.
揧ou did this,?Thayer says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. He rubs up and down over my jacket, trying to stave off the chill. But with the ice and snow, there抯 no way to stay warm out here. It抯 March, but in Hawthorne Mills that just means winter isn抰 done with us yet.
揑t wasn抰 just me.?
He shakes his head. 揧ou did this.?Maybe he thinks if he says it enough it抣l sink in for me. 揑抦 so proud of you, babe.?
He puts his tools back in the truck and we head inside where it抯 warm and the smell of baked goods permeates the air. I only plan on selling cupcakes for now, a few set flavors with one specialty flavor that changes every day. In the future I might add more baked goods, but I抳e always enjoyed cupcakes the most and figured it was easier to start with one thing and go from there.
Balloons and streamers are set up for my grand opening this afternoon, but there抯 another reason as well. I talked it over with Thayer and decided I wanted to open the shop for the first time on Forrest抯 birthday. It felt like a way to celebrate him. He would抳e loved this. We set up a table in the corner with birthday cupcakes and a donation jar for a local program that teaches babies and young kids how to swim. People underestimate the dangers of water. They think drowning is loud, chaotic, but it抯 the complete opposite. It抯 silent and often it抯 too late to do something when you realize there抯 a problem.
To think Forrest would be fourteen today.
My stomach aches that he抯 not here with us.
Sometimes I dream about him, what he抎 be like now, how he抎 be with Seda.
It抯 always painful when I wake up and realize it wasn抰 real.
In the kitchen, the two women I hired are hard at work finishing up more batches of cupcakes. I抳e already been here since early this morning to get a head start, but they shooed me out since I was getting too stressed.
揑s everything going okay??I ask, peering at what they抳e gotten done.
揧es, we抮e fine. You worry too much,?Hannah says. She抯 young, barely out of high school, but she demonstrated a love for baking and has a talent with her icing work that I could learn a thing or two from.
揑t抯 coming along great. Go take a break. We mean it,?says Susanne.
She抯 in her forties and is actually Hannah抯 aunt. Hiring the two of them to help out has been the best thing I ever did. Not only did they pick up on all the recipes without a hitch, but they抳e pitched in and helped in other ways to get the store ready for this day.
Leaving them to it, I rejoin Thayer who抯 straightening the candle display. There aren抰 that many since I haven抰 had time to make a big batch, not with everything else that has been involved with opening my own store, but the shed behind the store is still there and I fully plan to make candles more of a priority. More for me than anything else. Making candles was my creative outlet and I still need one. I think every person benefits from working with their hands and finding something that allows them to be artistic. It抯 just like Thayer with his sewing梬hich is still the cutest thing I抳e ever seen. He抯 even started teaching Seda.