I get out of bed and take a quick shower and throw on some clothes from one of the many piles on my bedroom floor. Shades on to hide the bags under my eyes, keys in my hand. I speed through the city, sunlight too bright. I screech to a stop near the restaurant and park, turning off the engine. A few people recognize me on the sidewalk, stopping to whisper and stare. Nothing I’m not used to. The restaurant has wood-paneled floors and walls and giant booths. It smells like grease and cigar smoke. It’s the seedy type of place I usually only go to at three in the morning after a night of drinking and fucking. Haven’t lived that kind of life in a while now. My days have been so filled with Mattie.
Briggs is already waiting at a table in the corner. He stands when he sees me. Claps a hand on my shoulder. I flinch, and his grin fades when he notices, but he doesn’t say anything about it.
“Glad you came,” he says, sitting back down again.
I sit opposite him without speaking. I’m tense. I usually don’t give a fuck, being around Briggs. He treats me like shit all the time. There were moments when I didn’t want him to hit me as hard as he did, or draw blood when he bit me, or tie me up and fuck me so hard that I would feel sick and my entire body would hurt for days. I told myself I liked the pain. A lot of people like pain, right? Yeah. I thought I was one of them. But I’m realizing now I didn’t enjoy it so much. It felt better to pretend that I wanted someone like Briggs. Only difference between the last night I met with Briggs and all the other nights with him before was that I told him to stop and he didn’t listen. Pretty big difference, I guess.
It’s harder to breathe. I’m starting to leave my body again, and Matt isn’t here to put a hand on my cheek and ask me if I’m still with him. Maybe I shouldn’t have come here. Maybe I should leave.
“I’m surprised you agreed to meet up,” Briggs says. “We left things off in a pretty shitty place.”
“You claimed I attacked you.”
“You fucking did,” he says. He takes a breath. “But I’ll admit it. I shouldn’t have been so rough with you.”
Is that how he’s choosing to describe rape? Okay.
“I wanted to apologize in person,” he says.
“And hopefully get a few photos of us together to show we’re back to being friends?”
“You always were a smart one,” he says, grin growing. “But this will help your image, too. People are still pissed at you for fucking me up.” He raises a hand to the waitress. “What do you want? I’m buying.”
We get beers. Neither of us are eating. I guess we both want to get out of here as fast as possible. Maybe that’s just me. Briggs smirks over the rim of his glass as he drinks. His legs are long, so when he leans back in his seat, his knees bump into mine. He doesn’t readjust.
“I was upset you thought I assaulted you.”
“You did assault me.”
“We’ve fucked like that plenty of times before. You never minded.”
“I minded this time.”
“Why?”
I shrug. I know the answer is Matt. I just don’t want to say his name right now.
Briggs picks up on it anyway. “How’s the boyfriend?” he asks.
“We’re breaking up,” I say.
He laughs. “Of course.”
“Matt’s supposed to post something on social tonight.”
Briggs leans closer to me. “I’ll have to keep an eye out, then.”
I’m not attracted to Briggs. Not anymore. Was I ever? His knees start to open mine. I don’t want him to touch me. The thought makes me sick, and feeling his leg press against mine is pulling me out of my body again. I drink more beer. He takes the glass away from my mouth and out of my hand, forcing me to pay attention. That would’ve excited me, once. I would’ve considered him fun.
“Why don’t we help the announcement along, then?”
I squint at him. “What?”
Briggs pulls back again, eyeing me. “We could make a show of it. Like we’ve done before.”
I shrug. The fact that I didn’t say “no” out loud is enough for him. He leans forward and presses his mouth to mine. He pushes his tongue against my lips. My body shuts down. I wonder, distantly, if this is technically assault also. He has to know I’m uncomfortable. That I don’t want him touching me. I remember Matt. Even if we’d kissed a million times before, he always paused and asked me for permission. He was so aware of my constant need for consent that it upset me at first. Annoyed me, that he thought I was someone who had to be treated delicately. Who deserved to be shown so much care.
I pull away, unable to look at Briggs. “I’m going to go.”
He wipes the corner of his mouth. “You used to be a lot more fun.”
I slide my chair back, away from his knees. When I stand, I see that across the restaurant someone has their phone out, pointed at us. They’re not embarrassed to be caught. They keep recording or taking pictures or whatever the hell it is they’re doing. Probably going to make thousands on this. I can’t even be mad at them. I chose to come here, right? I try to take my time as I leave, even though I’m shaking and my legs are weak.
Fuck. I’m tired. I’m tired of being caught in this cycle. Why would I even agree to meet Briggs like this? I knew what was going to happen: he would treat me like shit, push my boundaries, touch me without my consent. Around and around I go again.
RED ALERT: BREAKING NEWS
My dearest cherubs,
Feast your eyes on this latest visual entertainment:
[Video begins: The setting is a dark, grainy restaurant. Beneath the table, we see one man’s leg rubbing another man’s leg. The camera shakes and zooms in. The faces are blurry as one man kisses the other. One man gets up, looks at the camera. The image is blurry. Video ends.]
[Photos, side by side: Clearer images of Logan Gray sitting with Briggs Stevenson.]
I am so excited—no, thrilled—to return with more Logan Gray Is a Fucking Asshole? content! I’m over the moon for this newest blessing, because honestly, where would I be in my life without reasons to shit on Logan Gray? It’s like he writes these posts himself, and I’m ever-so-grateful that he continues to be the sort of trash fire human being that should probably off himself to stop this endless humiliation.
What? Too harsh?
Fine, then I’ll revise: I think that he should politely excuse himself from this earth and life, for his own sake. But, thankfully for ours, he’s still around so that we’ll be able to witness and enjoy his consistent disgrace.
I’m looking forward to the vague apology for cheating on Matthew Cole that’ll be released, so that I can begin the official countdown to the next Logan Gray incident.
Goodbye, my loves,
Angel
Twitter.com
Trending for You
HE CHEATED
#WeLoveMattieCole #LoganGrayIsOverParty #CancelLoganGrayPermanently
@parrotwars
I, for one, will be watching Write Anything to support Matthew Cole and the amazing cast and crew who put the movie together and to support the future of queer film. It’s unfortunate that Logan Gray was ever attached to it.
1.3K 11.7K 21.9K
@facinwashere
Is anyone really that shocked that he cheated???? He’s treated people like shit for most of his adult life. UM HELLO, yes he’s trash! He will always be trash!