“Si… I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know what to believe.” Her voice breaks, and I drop my forehead to hers, trying my hardest to hide my pain from her. The last thing I want to do is keep her from doing what is right for her, even if that means leaving me.
“I know,” I whisper. “It’s okay, Alanna. I know you’re struggling to figure out what to believe, and I did keep things from you. I know I’ve hurt you, and I broke your trust. I may have good intentions, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I get that, and I’m willing to give you all the space you need… but please, baby. Please don’t let Ryan influence you any further. Please keep an open mind and assess his intentions the way you have mine. Please think about everything I’ve done, and what I stand to gain or lose by being with you. Please, Alanna. Please forgive me.”
She nods and pulls away to look at me. “I want to,” she whispers.
“Then that’s enough for me for now.”
Alanna looks into my eyes, her gaze searching. “Silas, do you love me?”
“I love you. Without a doubt. Without reason. I have always loved you, even when you weren’t with me. I never wavered, and I never will.”
She rises to her tiptoes, her lips brushing past mine softly. I inhale sharply, scared to move for a moment, scared that this is the last time I’ll ever feel her lips against mine. Alanna kisses me, her hands moving into my hair, a sense of desperation in her touch.
I pull her flush against me, needing more of her but not wanting this to be goodbye. “I love you,” I whisper in between kisses. “I love you so fucking much, baby.” She moans against my lips, and I deepen our kiss, my touch turning rougher, more urgent. “Please remember me. Please.”
“Si,” she groans, and I lift her into my arms, her legs wrapping around my hips as I push her against the wall, kissing her harder. Just as I’m about to carry her to our bed, she pulls away. “Si… I…”
I carefully put her down, wishing I could just tie her to me instead. I wish I was capable of everything I’m being accused of, because if any of it was true, I’d never let her go, no matter what her wishes are.
Instead, I watch as she walks to our bed and zips up her suitcase. I watch as she walks out of the room, the door falling closed behind her. The sound of the front door closing follows soon after, and I sink down to the floor, my heart breaking in a way it never has before. Perhaps part of it had healed throughout the years, so the pain had dulled, or perhaps I love her more now than I ever did before.
I inhale shakily and reach into my suit jacket, pulling out one of her paper cranes. “Grant her wish,” I whisper. Alanna wished for my happiness, and my happiness is her.
Chapter Seventy-Five
Silas
“Silas?” I snap out of my thoughts at the sound of Amy’s voice and find her standing in front of my desk. How long has she been trying to get my attention?
“What is it?”
I haven’t been able to focus on anything at all since Alanna left. She requested holiday leave from work, so I haven’t seen her in over a week now. The security team told me she’s safely checked into a bed-and-breakfast nearby, but I’m still restless. I’m worried I’m truly losing her, and it’s killing me to give her the space she asked for. All I want to do is call her so I get to hear her voice.
“We found your father’s lawyer. He entered the country this morning, and I instructed our interception team to pick him up. He’s being transported to our interrogation room as we speak.”
I sit up in shock. “We’ve been looking for him for years.”
Amy smiles excitedly. “He must have thought it’d be safe to return now. I think we’ll get him to talk quite easily. If he’s back, he either needs more money, or he wants his life back. Whichever it is, cooperating with us will be his best bet. Mona has nothing left to offer him.”
I nod. “Let’s go. Send someone to collect Ryan for me. I want him to see this. If we get the answers we’re after, then this might finally show him his mother’s true colors. And if we don’t, then he equally has a right to know that too.”
Amy nods and walks out of my office, a determined look on her face. She’s one of very few people who know how tough the last couple of years have been. I know she must share the satisfaction I’m feeling right now. Even if we don’t get the answers we seek, at least we found him.
I’m tense as I walk into the control room, making sure the cameras are on. I don’t want to miss anything today.