“I do not,” she protested as Darius boomed a laugh.
“Circling back to Xavier’s cherry,” Tyler said lightly, his eyes glinting maliciously at Xavier. “Still a virgin then, are you buddy?”
“Fuck off,” Xavier growled. “I’m not a virgin.”
“It is quite alright for the moon to not yet have shone upon your delicate lampoon, Xavier,” Geraldine said as she walked over to Orion and started directing him to dress in the A.S.S. gear. Apparently he’d had enough bourbon to slide into it willingly too.
“The moon has shone on my – I mean, I don’t have a delicate lampoon,” Xavier spluttered.
“It is a plain lampoon though, isn’t it?” Tyler taunted. “Not a gemstone in sight.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Sofia insisted, elbowing Tyler in the ribs.
“Rhinestones turn you on though, don’t they baby?” Tyler said with a smirk and Sofia blushed. “What did you say about mine? That they make your pussy sparkle.”
“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to get them,” she protested.
Darcy slipped off of her chair, helping Orion change into a jumpsuit which was silver with A.S.S. embroidered across the back and over the crotch. Geraldine hung an A.S.S. medallion around his neck before pinning on an A.S.S. badge then pulling on an A.S.S. beret over his head too. Darcy wrapped a fanny pack around his waist and belted it in place while he downed more bourbon and the rest of us started laughing at him. He looked fucking ridiculous, especially when Geraldine slapped some flashing neon stickers all over him and Tory reached up to stick one on each of his cheeks.
“Happy now?” Orion asked as a stupid smile pulled at his mouth.
“Yep, and I’ll be even happier when you show up to breakfast in this stuff,” Darcy said through a laugh. “You look so freaking cute.”
“No one looks at me anyway, beautiful,” he reminded her.
“They will now,” Darius muttered, looking caught between amusement and irritation over his friend being dressed up as a Vega supporter, though it was a bit late for that. Orion had gone full royalist and he didn’t even pretend otherwise, though I reckoned when he sobered up tomorrow, he was gonna regret agreeing to this dare.
“My turn,” Orion said with a feral smile, pinning Geraldine in his sights as he dropped back into his seat. “You have to sing that awful fucking away, away, away song but do it as if you love the Heirs, not the Vegas.”
“You krout of a lout,” Geraldine gasped, falling to her knees at the twins’ feet and shaking her head. “I would never besmirch the name of my fair ladies.”
“It’s just a game, Geraldine,” Tory said.
“We really don’t mind,” Darcy promised as she dropped onto Orion’s lap. “I actually really, really wanna hear it.”
Geraldine released a strangled noise then nodded, slowly rising to her feet and lifting her chin up as she started singing. And while everyone was distracted by her wincing her way through the song with our names in place of the Vegas’， I subtly cast a silencing bubble around Darcy and Orion, leaning closer to them.
“He doesn’t want me,” I groaned and Orion jerked away as he realised I was right by his ear.
Darcy frowned, patting my head. “You don’t know that.”
“Hey, let me innnn,” Tory poked her sister as she scooted her chair past Darius to join us and Darcy looked to me with a hopeful plea in her eyes.
“She won’t tell anyone,” she said and I whimpered.
“You swear?” I asked and Darcy nodded.
“I pinky promise. Plus she knows Caleb pretty well, so maybe she can help?”
She did know Caleb pretty well. She even knew his dick pretty well. In fact, she could probably tell me all the things he liked doing in the bedroom and give me some idea as to how big of a deal her tits and vajooza had been in the equation. I mean, what were the chances that he’d enjoyed getting her to wear men’s clothes and put on a gruff voice while he bent her over and called her Bernard from time to time? Sure, I was totally down with him liking the tits and stuff some of the time because it wasn’t like I hated them myself, but if he’d gotten her to do the whole Bernard thing at least a few times then I’d have a glimmer of hope that he was at least cock curious. That didn’t even seem all that unlikely.
I flicked my fingers to let Tory into the bubble and she glanced between us all, leaning on her sister.