‘Sis . . . I don’t know about all that, but if, hypothetically, Seye was single and he apologised, would you even consider taking him back?’
I chewed slowly and tried to ignore how my heart flipped at the idea. ‘I mean, that scenario is highly unlikely, but maybe. I thought I was going to marry the guy, Kam. Those feelings don’t just disappear. But that’s not gonna happen. You know why? Riley Dawn. Hey Malik! You there?’
‘Hey sis!’ My best friend’s boyfriend responded immediately. I knew I was on speakerphone.
‘Is Seye dating Riley Dawn?’
‘I don’t know. I mean. He’s a movie star. He’s probably drowning in pu—’
The rest of his words got muffled. It sounded like Kameela had thrown a pillow at him. I’d been chucking granola into my mouth and Malik’s sentence made me choke on an oat cluster.
‘Wow.’ I beat my chest with a closed fist and coughed. ‘Wow.’
Kameela’s voice was thinner and further away from the phone. ‘Thanks, Mal. Really nice.’ Malik’s defiant claim that it was a joke was followed by another muted thump of a pillow.
I got up to go to the kitchen to get a refill of granola. ‘I just thought he was a man with discernment. You know what? It doesn’t matter. I am happy. I have a popping career and also a popping butt. Have you seen it recently?’
‘Out of this world, babe,’ Kameela affirmed. ‘But this is precisely why I think you should watch the award ceremony. It might be closure for you. You were there from the very beginning of his career, so this is your moment too, in a way.’
I sighed. Maybe she was right. The first time we’d met was when he was auditioning for the role of the wisecracking, streetwise best friend of the white main character in what would be a failed pilot. I was a production assistant at the time. When I went down to reception and called his name from the list, he’d done a double take. In the lift, the air had shifted between us. Upon noting that I was only an assistant, the other high-cheekboned men would often render me invisible. But Seye had looked me in the eye, said hello, shook my hand and asked my name.
‘What do you reckon my chances are then, Tiara? Any tips?’ His voice rolled low and deep into the silence of the lift.
I looked pointedly at my sheet with its list of 6ft something handsome black men, aged 18–25. ‘I don’t know. Everyone brings so many different qualities to the table.’
He laughed. ‘Yeah, but I feel like my crooked front tooth will actually bring a lot of depth to the character.’
I smiled. He was joking, but I liked his slightly crooked front tooth. Made his good looks interesting, made his smile more endearing. I cleared my throat and decided to give him real advice.
‘Okay, listen. I’m sure you don’t want to play a 2D character that only exists to say, “Yo. That’s messed up”， when the main character is in a predicament, but this is a stepping stone, right?’
Seye raised an offended brow. ‘Excuse me? It’s my dream to play Jamal, funny and cool, with dreams of becoming a rapper.’ His voice was deadpan as he quoted the character description verbatim. His face broke open in a half smile. ‘That was convincing, right?’
He was easy, self-effacing, and despite myself, I was drawn to him. I kept my laugh in check, though, not wanting to gas him. He was still an actor.
The lift pinged open and I led him through the maze of glass-walled meeting rooms.
‘Oscar worthy. Anyway, my point is, you should think about what this is a stepping stone to. Think of your dream role and let that fuel you. That’s what gets me through. Do you think I want to be fetching lunch and making tea for producers named Hugh who don’t know my name, stare at my tits and don’t say thank you?’
‘You spit in it, right?’
‘Obviously. But what gets me through, aside from spitting in their tea, is thinking of where I wanna be.’
‘And where’s that?’
‘I want to make my own stuff. Being part of the machine that makes the thing is great, but I want to be the generator.’
He was silent for a few moments and looked at me in a way that made blood rush to my face and my stomach dip. I cleared my throat and gestured to the audition room. ‘Um. Good luck.’
He slapped his script on his hand and nodded. ‘Thank you.’
I nodded back and walked away. I’d barely moved when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see him looking slightly, sweetly nervous, at odds with the confident demeanour I’d seen earlier. Man, I really didn’t have time to coach people through audition jitters today.