“Are you still upset about what happened in your house?”
He makes a noise in the back of his throat. “No.”
“Then what’s going on? Tell me something more than a few words strung together. Something happened, and unless you’re open with me about it, I can’t fix it.” My voice cracks, revealing how exerted I truly am.
His eyes soften. “There’s nothing to fix. You need to concentrate on getting better rather than on us.”
“Is there still an us?” I voice the one question I’ve been avoiding since I woke up in this place.
His throat bobs and his eyes slide toward the window. “I—you—” He stumbles over his words.
Oh God. He’s hesitating? He never hesitates.
“I need you to tell me what’s bothering you. Now.” I’m putting my foot down. I’ve had enough of the cryptic answers and half-truths. Whatever Rowan has to say, I’m a big girl. I can handle him and way worse.
“We can talk about this once you’re hom—”
“Cut the bullshit, Rowan. What’s your problem?”
His eyebrows rise at my tone. “You want to know what’s my problem?”
I nod.
“You. This whole damn situation.” He throws his arms out in my general direction.
My muscles lock up. “What do you mean?”
“We were supposed to be something casual. Something fun. This isn’t even close to what I want or need in my life. I have a company to run, a park to oversee, and a lot of shit to work through. People are depending on me, and I’m stuck making sure you’re okay because I feel responsible.”
I wince.
He continues on like he’s not taking a sledgehammer to my heart. “I never asked to play your dutiful boyfriend. That’s not the man I am.”
My lungs protest from my sharp inhale. “You…you can’t mean that.”
We have a connection, no matter how hard he tries to deny it. Sure, while we might not have an official label, we have something special.
He clears his throat. “Us hooking up and going on a couple of dates was supposed to be a way for me to pass some time at Dreamland.”
“Pass some time.” How dare he minimize what we have like that.
He shuts his eyes. “I’ve lost track of what’s important.”
And you’re not it. He doesn’t need to say it, but it’s written all over his face. Tiny fissures in my heart spread, cracking with each hurtful word he yields like an invisible knife.
“I never take off time for work—not even on Christmas. But I felt obligated because you got hurt in my house. I’ve even postponed important meetings and blown off a shit ton of paperwork because…”
“Because what?” Say you care. Say you want me anyway. Say you might be scared, but some things in life are worth the risk.
Say anything but nothing.
He stands, staring at me with an expression similar to the ones he has during boring presentations. I’ve never felt so insignificant—not even when Lance left me. I truly thought Rowan and I had something special. The forever kind of connection I have been hoping for all my life.
I was so wrong.
I let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t know what’s more pathetic—the fact that you deny how much you care about me or the way I’m actually surprised by all of this.”
Nothing but beeping machines fill the silence between us, matching the rapid beat of my heart.