My heart twisted as I scrolled through the comments and shares. My stomach sunk, watching his lean form in his wetsuit coast along the water, and then again as he strode out of the water, flipping his wet hair back.
Tell me you feel nothing.
I pressed a hand to my mouth, wide-eyed and watching the video on a loop. I couldn抰 do this. I couldn抰 run his social media now.
My laptop dinged with another notification. Th閞鑣e had posted a photo of a bookstore in Lyons. Browsing for another true love to add to my collection and thinking of my dear friend Hannah @PemberleyBooks.
The gold sequinned dress Th閞鑣e had given me popped into my head. How beautiful I had felt wearing it. Its weight, the coarse texture against my thighs and arms, how it sparkled in the light. How great it paired with my plain white sneakers. How I felt like someone wearing it, like a main character. That outfit was all me, totally Hannah, and Th閞鑣e had seen it from afar.
The way Wyatt looked at me in that dress.
The way Wyatt looked at me every day.
Realizing what I had lost hit me in the chest and my eyes stung with tears.
揕iya, I抣l be in the back for a bit,?I called to her, holding my voice normal and steady.
揙kay,?she called back through the bookshelves.
In the stockroom, I leaned against the table and cried into my hands, praying Liya wouldn抰 come back here. How could I possibly explain the situation? I wanted Wyatt, but couldn抰 have him. He was leaving, but I had to stay, and somehow that last part had slipped past me this whole time. I had never entertained the idea of leaving, but fell for him anyhow.
After all this time, you抮e still afraid.
Was I doing it right? Was this how she wanted me to run the store and live my life? If Wyatt wasn抰 the right guy for me, why was this so awful?
I buried my face in my hands. All these thoughts rolled around in my head, warring with each other. I dragged in a deep breath but the smell of the bookstore only reminded me of Wyatt.
Another sob choked out of me. I wasn抰 afraid. I couldn抰 leave. This store was her dream, and she would have wanted me to carry on her legacy. This store was where I belonged.
I would just have to get over Wyatt Rhodes.
31
Wyatt
It was fun while it lasted.
Three days later, I tipped the rest of my beer back and gestured to Olivia for another. Holden took the bar seat beside me when she returned, she set both our beers in front of us with a nod.
Tell me you抮e ready for this to be over, bookworm.
Don抰 call me that.
Holden shifted in his chair. 揇o you want to厰 He winced. 搮talk about it or something??
It was the first time he had addressed it. I had been crashing on his couch for the past three nights and he hadn抰 asked why, hadn抰 brought up anything to do with her, and hadn抰 told our parents. Each night he sat here beside me at the bar, commenting on whatever game was on.
You teach me to choose myself and now you want me to choose you?
揘ope.?
揙kay.?
We took slugs of our beers in unison.
Olivia set two empty shot glasses in front of us and poured tequila. 揊or the members of the lonely hearts club.?She slid the shots toward us.
Holden raised an eyebrow. 揥here抯 yours??
She frowned. 揝hut up. I抦 heading back to school next week.?
Holden nodded. 揕ike clockwork. Can抰 risk the two of you being in the same town at the same time.?
Olivia was our next-door neighbor growing up. Her and Finn were best friends until they were teenagers. They didn抰 speak anymore.
Her hands stilled as she wiped a glass before she resumed. 揑 don抰 know what you抮e talking about.?
Holden made a derisive noise before we reached for the shots and tipped them back. My throat burned and I washed it down with beer. Out of the corner of my eye, a couple took their seats at the table Hannah and I had sat at after her date with Carter, all those months ago. My chest strained at the memory and I frowned into my beer. That night seemed like years ago and yesterday at the same time.
揟hanks.?I slid the empty shot glass back across the bar.
揌e抯 doing well,?Holden told her. 揌e抯 running a crew in the Kootenay抯 but they抳e got the worst of the fires under control.?
She shrugged and held her expression neutral, but her face reddened. 揇on抰 care.?She bee-lined to the other end of the bar.
揕eave them alone.?I stared at the baseball highlights on the TV above the bar.
揟hey抮e being stupid.?
揑t抯 not our business.?I took another sip of beer.
揑t is our business. He抯 our brother. Like you and Hannah being stupid is my business.?
I didn抰 answer. My gut simmered. My jaw clenched and I gripped my beer harder. 揝tay out of it.?My voice was warning. I drained my beer. 揑 did everything right. I asked her to come with me and she said no.?