The bench near the window caught my eye, where Wyatt and I had sat after we renovated the bookstore, while everyone ate pizza and listened to Emmett narrate a spicy hockey romance.
The memory stabbed me in the heart.
Maybe it wasn抰 getting easier.
Be brave with me, bookworm.
I swallowed and searched for something to do. A stack of books sat on the desk. I picked them up and wandered around the store, shelving them.
Liya poked her head around the corner of a shelf. 揇o you know where those books on the desk went??
I turned and her gaze dropped to the last book in my hand. 揢h. Sorry. I thought they were to go back.?
She gave me a tight smile. 揟hat抯 okay.?She offered a sympathetic expression that made my blood boil. 揥hy don抰 you take the afternoon off? I抳e got it covered here.?
揑 don抰 need to.?
She shrugged. 揧ou deserve time off, same as everyone else.?
So I could go home and do what? Stare at the walls of a bedroom that hasn抰 changed since I was a teenager? Make dinner and read my book across from my dad like old times, like nothing had changed?
Everything had changed.
My gaze flicked around my bookstore, so fun and unrecognizable. A book spine stuck out on the shelf so I nudged it in line with its neighbors.
揑抦 bringing down the mood, aren抰 I??My voice was soft as I ran my fingers over the Alien Romance section.
揘o, you抮e just厰 Her words trailed off.
She didn抰 want to say it, but I knew I was right. 揧ou抮e okay for the rest of today??
She nodded quickly. 揧ep. Casey will be here in a couple minutes.?
When I got home, I spotted my dad through the kitchen window on the patio with a glass of something bubbly and a book. I poured myself a glass of water and he lifted his head.
揌annah??
I drained half the glass before I replied. 揧ep.?
He appeared at the patio door, watching me with hesitation. 揧ou抮e home early.?
I nodded but didn抰 offer an explanation. When I moved to leave the kitchen, he gestured over his shoulder to where he was sitting. 揇o you want some cider? It抯 from Salt Spring. I found it here at the liquor store.?He cleared his throat. 揑t抯 elderberry.?
I raised an eyebrow at him. For as long as I remembered, he drank red wine, one glass if I had brought a bottle home or he picked something up at the market, but never cider.
And now he wanted to sit down and have a drink with me. I could see the peace offering in front of me, but without an explanation or apology, I didn抰 want it. Not like this.
I shook my head. 揘o, thanks. I抦 going to have a nap. I didn抰 sleep well last night.?
He shot me a concerned look. 揙kay.?
When I stepped into my room, a noise of disgust and disdain scraped out of my throat. I threw myself down on my bed and stared at the lavender walls.
I hated this room. I didn抰 fit here anymore. I needed to move out, like I had said a few days ago to Wyatt.
Instead of napping, I pulled out my laptop and scrolled through rentals in Queen抯 Cove. Now that summer tourist season was over, there was a lot more selection.
One bedroom, furnished, patio, pets allowed, price a little high but I could make it work now that I was paying myself a salary again.
When I checked the location, my stomach pitched. Down the street from the breakfast food truck.
Which meant it was down the street from Wyatt抯 place.
揘ope.?I closed the window and kept searching.
One bedroom, partially furnished, no patio but lots of windows, only one block from the Main Street, including groceries, my work, and the art gallery?
Wyatt抯 face flashed into my head, listening to me ramble on about how badass Emily Carr抯 self-portrait was with an amused, affectionate look.
Nope.
One bedroom, unfurnished, pets allowed, with a small backyard with space for a garden. One block from the bar.
Hell no.
My gaze flicked to the figurine of merman-Wyatt, the one I had made before the camping trip. The same one that hung from his rearview mirror.
I stood, picked the figurine up, and dropped it in a desk drawer before sliding it closed.
Everywhere in town reminded me of Wyatt. My bookstore reminded me of him. The bar reminded me of him. The beach reminded me of him. Even my own goddamned bedroom reminded me of him.
I couldn抰 go, but I couldn抰 stay. How could I forget him when he was around every corner?
The gold dress sparkled in my closet.
I don抰 even know who you are anymore, Miri had said at the bar the night I sang karaoke.
I had bleached the old Hannah from my life and now there was nothing left to show. My birthday was tomorrow, and I had made the store profitable again. I had become the hot girl I always wanted to be. I had fallen for Wyatt. The list was complete, but instead of fixing my life, I had fucked everything up so much worse.