揜omance, huh??
I nodded. 揜omance.?
揂nd you really don抰 want to sell other best sellers? Crime thrillers, lit fic, fantasy, stuff like that??
揘ope.?I crossed my arms over my chest. 揑 really don抰。？
He sat back and regarded me. 揙kay, then. Pemberley Books is a romance bookstore. You抮e the boss.?
My eyebrows snapped together, and I narrowed my eyes at him.
He lifted a shoulder. 揑 was going to give you the papers tomorrow on your birthday but might as well tell you now.?
揧ou抮e giving me the store??
He nodded. 揑t抯 been yours for some time now. I should have done this years ago.?He rubbed a hand over his face. 揑 should have done a lot of things differently.?
I thought about how I hid away in that store for years, too afraid to do anything for myself. 揗e, too.?
A bird landed on the fence, and I watched as it perched there. The store was truly mine now, but when I pictured myself there ten years from now, selling books and helping customers, something was still missing.
My dad stood to clear our plates.
揥hat about Veena??
His hands stilled, rinsing the plates in the sink. 揥hat about her??
I frowned at him. 揝eriously? You hurt her because you were scared. You抮e being a jerk.?
The dishwasher door creaked as he closed it. He flattened his hands on the counter and looked down, thinking. 揑 don抰 know, Hannah. I don抰 know how to do both. I loved your mom so much and Veena棓 His voice broke off. 揑 don抰 know how to have both.?
揗om wouldn抰 want you to be unhappy. She抎 want you to move on. You don抰 have to forget her, but it抯 okay if you date other people and fall in love again. She抎 hate it if you were unhappy to honor her or something weird like that.?
Unease spiked in my throat. My words made my stomach pitch. My dad hurt Veena because he was scared.
I could have made something work. I could have at least asked my dad, I could have thought of other options, we could have tried long distance, but instead I shut him down. I wanted to go with him, and I said no to both him and myself.
Because I was scared of stepping outside my bookstore, like before.
I抎 said some terrible things to him. I told him that he wasn抰 the right guy for me, that it never would have worked anyway. That he was my practice guy. I put my head in my hands and my heart sunk into the floor.
Practice guy. That抯 what I had said.
My throat tied itself in a knot. What a way to go, Hannah, I told myself. What a way to show him he meant nothing to you.
I do want you to choose yourself. I want you to choose us.
His words poked holes in my heart.
I pictured my mom across the table from us, crossing her arms with a skeptical expression.
This whole time, I had been so desperate to live exactly like her to make her proud.
揙h my god.?My expression was incredulous. My throat worked. 揙h my god.?
揥hat??
My head snapped up and our gazes met. She wouldn抰 want me to follow her step for step, like she wouldn抰 want my dad to be single for the rest of his life. She抎 want me to make my own life. That girl singing karaoke in a gold dress? She抎 be proud of me for doing the scary thing. For wearing the dress that made me feel pretty, for chopping my hair off even though I wasn抰 sure if it would look good.
She抎 be proud of me for taking risks and being brave.
Be brave with me, bookworm.
揌e asked me to come with him,?I told my dad.
揥yatt Rhodes??
I nodded.
Tell me you feel nothing.
揂nd you said no.?
I nodded again. Shit. Urgency squeezed my stomach. The bright, happy memories with Wyatt pressed on me from all angles. My lungs were tight as I heaved a breath.
I had walked away. I had it. Wyatt and I had the thing I always dreamed about and I tossed it away like it was trash.
Puzzle pieces clicked into place, one after the other, and I chewed my lip. Wyatt had used everything is temporary as a shield but I had used Wyatt is leaving and I have to be exactly like my mom as my own shields.
When he asked me to come with him, Wyatt had tossed his shield aside.
My heart raced as I pictured quick flashes of our future together. Holding hands on a plane. Floating in the water on our surfboards, enjoying the sunrise.
The nurse at the ER thought you were my pregnant wife.
Sitting on the beach in the sand, keeping a careful eye on our kids.
I had it and I dropped it.
I wanted her to be proud of me. That was what started this whole thing, wanting her to be proud of the person I had turned into, and instead, I had made a huge mess of everything. I was worrying about making the wrong person proud.
I should have been making myself proud the entire time.