Nia cocks her head to the side, but I rush off before she can say anything else. I find Granddaddy at the back of the house, just bout to head into his bedroom.
“Granddaddy!” I shriek before he can close the door.
He turns around real quick, then stares at me. “Well, what’s so important that you almost scared an old man straight outta his skin?”
I giggle and say, “Sorry, Granddaddy,” before continuing. “Me and Nia wanna call Momma before we go to dinner. Can you dial the number for us?”
“Now, Kenyatta—”
“It’s gon’ be fast, Granddaddy, I promise! It’s just that Nia ain’t talked to Momma since we been here, so she just wanna say hi right quick.” I bat my eyelashes, hoping Granddaddy ain’t gon’ notice I’m up to something.
Seems like my plan works, cause Granddaddy starts his slow walk back to the front of the house. I tiptoe behind him, tryna seem calm when I’m jumping for joy on the inside. Once we get to the kitchen, Granddaddy picks up the phone and begins to dial.
“Make it quick,” he says once he’s done, handing the receiver to Nia. “Once I get my clothes on, it’s gon’ be time to go.” And with that, he ambles back down the hallway, leaving me and Nia alone to talk to Momma.
It feels different this time, watching Nia hold the receiver and wondering what Momma’s doin’ on the other end. After a few seconds, Nia’s eyebrows raise, but she don’t say nothin’。 I figure that means Momma’s on the phone by now, so I nudge Nia.
“Hey, Momma,” Nia finally says. Soon as she says it, she’s got tears in her eyes. I don’t know what Momma says next, but Nia don’t talk for a while, just listens and cries. Finally, Nia speaks again.
“We bout to go to dinner with Granddaddy,” she says, “but it’s something we wanted to talk to you about first.” Then she don’t talk again for a while, cept saying “mm-hmm” and nodding, then eventually finishing with, “Yeah, she’s right here.”
Nia hands me the phone and I take a breath before saying, “Hello.” The last two times I talked to Momma ain’t go exactly as planned, so I’m hoping this time gon’ be better.
“Hey, KB,” Momma says, her voice sweet and drippy like syrup.
“Hey, Momma,” I say back. “How you been doin’？”
“I been good, baby. Real good, actually.” And Momma sounds good, too, for the first time in a long time. Seems like whatever she’s doin’ at the treatment facility is working.
“That’s good,” I say, watching Nia wipe her eyes, “cause we got something to talk to you bout. See, the thing is—”
“I need to talk to you about something, too,” Momma interrupts.
My stomach flips like when I’m bout to be in trouble. “You do?”
“I do.” Momma chuckles. “But don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.” Momma takes a quick breath. “I wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have snapped at you when we talked before.”
“It’s okay,” I say, quick, cause it’s strange to have Momma apologizing to me.
“No, it’s not okay. It’s just that you were asking me about a memory that’s hard for me to remember. And with everything else going on . . .”
“Because of Daddy?”
“Yes, because of Daddy. But not just that. When your daddy died it was . . . do you know the expression ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back’？”
“Yes,” I say, even though I ain’t quite sure what it means.
“What happened with your daddy was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I had already been through so much—and came out on top. But this time . . .” Momma’s voice trails off.
“Why was that memory with Granddaddy so hard to remember?” I ask, still stuck on that part. I think back to the weird stuff Javon was saying bout what Granddaddy did to Momma after the headshot, how he wouldn’t describe it as little. Maybe there’s more to the story than what Granddaddy told me.
“What exactly did your Granddaddy tell you?” Momma asks, like she’s also wondering which parts of the story he held back.
“Well, he told me bout the headshot, and how after he ain’t let you get it, you got it done anyway, by some guy at the mall. But then when he saw it, he told you he ain’t wanna hear nothin’ bout it. Then he left.”
“Then he left?”
“Yeah, he said he threw down the picture, then he left.”
Momma is silent for a long time, but I can still hear her breathing, so I know she’s there. Finally, she clears her throat.
“When I met your daddy, I was only sixteen years old. Just a year older than Nia is now.” I look over at Nia when Momma says this; try to imagine Momma that age and meeting Daddy. “It’s hard to believe I was that young,” Momma continues, “because I felt like I knew everything about everything back then.” Momma chuckles and I listen without speaking, just enjoying the sound of her laugh.
“So yeah, I was young. And I was mad at your Granddaddy. When I met your daddy, it was right after that fight. In a way, I started dating him just to make your Granddaddy mad. But then somewhere along the way, I realized it was more than that.”
Nia goes and sits down at the dining room table. I twist the phone cord around my finger as I listen, hoping Nia ain’t mad that we talking so long.
“The first moment I knew I loved your daddy was when I told him about the fight with your Granddaddy. It was our first real date, and he took me to see a movie. About halfway through the movie, he realized I was crying. And the movie was a comedy! So, he took me outside and asked me what was wrong.” The line is silent for five whole seconds before Momma speaks again. “I told him the truth, about how me and my daddy had just got in a big stupid fight over a headshot. How I felt like my own daddy didn’t even love me anymore, because when he saw the picture, the picture that made me feel so beautiful, like a woman . . . he slapped me and said I looked like a whore.”
The first thought that flashes cross my mind is not Granddaddy. I don’t say nothin’， though, cause I ain’t sure what to say. Momma ain’t ever even used that word, whore, when talking to me. I’m surprised she told me all of this now. I’m surprised Granddaddy ain’t tell me.
“I’m sorry, Momma,” I finally say. “Granddaddy ain’t tell me that part.”
“And he shouldn’t have,” Momma says, “because you’re still a little girl, KB, even though you want to know everything the adults know. But we just want you to enjoy being a kid. Being all grown up is a lot harder than it seems.”
“Yeah,” I say, fighting away images of that dumpster and Rondell.
“And besides, your Granddaddy is so happy to have you and Nia there. He loves you girls so much! I think it’s good for him to have you there. Almost like it—”
Momma stops, so I finish. “Almost like it makes up for what he did to you?”
“Almost,” Momma whispers.
We both stay silent after that. I think bout what Momma just told me, then think bout what Nia told me, bout her and Daddy. Two different daughters, both hurt by they daddies. I bet if Momma knew what Daddy did to Nia, she might go easier on her. I bet if Nia knew what Granddaddy did to Momma, she might understand differently what Daddy did to her. But for now, I’m the only one who knows everything. I wonder what it means bout our family that this has happened to Momma and to Nia. I wonder what it means bout Momma that even after it happened, she sent us here, to live with Granddaddy. And I wonder what any of this means now that I love Granddaddy and think he’s bout the best man that’s ever been in my life.