“Your mother,” Daniel gasped, and James pulled back. “That was really mean.”
“Not as bad as you picking on me.” James fake pouted, and Daniel snorted, clearly not buying it. “Come on, let’s try to get some sleep.” James held Daniel and closed his eyes, sleep coming to him much quicker than he’d thought it would.
* * *
Daniel was still asleep when James woke and carefully got out of bed. He needed the bathroom, and his mouth was desert dry. After dressing quickly and taking care of business, he padded barefoot to the kitchen for some coffee, where he found his mother already up, sitting at the kitchen table. James said nothing and went to the coffeepot to pour a mug. It was too early for an argument or to discuss the things they needed to talk about. “Holly’s wedding is today,” he began. “Let’s just concentrate on that.”
His mother didn’t reply, and James took her silence for agreement, leaving the kitchen to sit in the living room alone. Everything was a mess, but he had to concentrate on what had to happen today, and one of those things was to figure out an officiant. James set down his mug and quietly returned to the bedroom where he couldn’t help himself and watched Daniel sleep for a few minutes, then got his laptop and exited the room, closing the door as silently as he could.
When James returned to the living room, he found his mother sitting on the sofa, apparently waiting for him. “I think we need to clear the air now.” Her lips were thin and her eyes hard. “Was that little display last night for my benefit? It was clear enough what the two of you were doing.”
“Oh please, Mother. Are you upset about what we were doing or the fact that you obviously weren’t?” James regretted the comment as soon as it crossed his lips. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.” He still had to stifle his smile.
“I’ll say it was.” She pursed her lips. “I won’t have that kind of behavior in my house. I want…”
James groaned. “For god’s sake, Mother. I’m twenty-eight years old, not twelve. Give it a rest. I’m tired of fighting with you about things that are none of your business. You don’t get to run my life or Holly’s any longer. Margot is going to be attending college soon and then she’s going to be gone. All of your children are adults, or very nearly so, and we’ll decide the course of our lives without you or your interference. Holly will be married today, and she and Howard will build their own lives together. I’m going back to Chicago tomorrow, and I’ll return to the life I have there.” He lowered his voice. “Do you want to be part of our lives going forward or not?”
She sat back and gasped. “Of course I do. I love my children and I want them to lead good, productive, happy lives. And I fail to see how you being…with Daniel…the way you obviously are…is going to make you happy. That lifestyle isn’t healthy and is only going to lead to misery. I know it in my heart. You have to fight this. Just because you were born gay…which I don’t believe… Well, even if it is true, you don’t have to act on those feelings. You should pray to God to give you strength and keep you from temptation.”
“No,” James said flatly.
His mother clearly hadn’t been expecting that response. “What do you mean no?” She set down her mug, glaring at James as though he had just crapped on the sofa.
“Just what I said. No. I’m going to live my life the way I see fit. And just so you know, Mother, you’re the one who’s wrong. Why should I deny who I am because it makes you feel better? I am who I am, and I’m going to celebrate that and live my life in order to be happy. I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’ve done that for years, and it sucks. I can’t do it any longer. Part of me was ready to curl up and die, and I won’t go back there.”
“But…”
James leaned forward and took both her hands in his. “You’re my mother, and I love you, and your only job is to love me back and accept me for who I am. That’s all there is. Don’t judge me, don’t try to change me, just show me the loving mother you’ve always been.”
She pulled a hand away and dabbed her eyes. “Of course I love you. But you were never like this before this Daniel person.”
“Yes, I was. I just didn’t tell you. I have a different life in Chicago, one where I can be the person I really am. And Daniel is the best person I’ve ever met. He’s kind, thoughtful, and selfless, but also funny with a great sense of humor.” James sighed. “Daniel makes me laugh and he makes me happy.”