“That’s false happiness, just like all of this is. You can only be truly happy if you live a normal life. Not this.” She pointed down toward the hall with her hand. “That will only lead you down the wrong path.”
James stood. “It’s my path to choose, and I will take the one I want. You don’t get to choose it for me, not anymore. Your expectations are a fiction, your own illusion so you can try to dictate what is out of your control. My life is my own, and if you can’t understand that I’m gay and that I will never marry a woman, then so be it. I won’t do that to myself or to someone else. My parents taught me to be honest and to live a good life. For me, it means being true to who I am, regardless of whether you agree or not.”
“Daniel needs to go,” she countered, her eyes as dark as night.
“Fine. But if he goes, then I do too. We’ll pack up and go to a hotel. But understand, there won’t be any more visits on holidays or any other time. I’ll see and talk to Holly and Margot, but not you. If they wish, they will be part of my life, but you won’t. Not anymore.” It was James’s turn to be harsh, to explain to her the way things were going to have to be.
His mother stood, stepping closer to him. “You’d give up your family, your parents, for this lifestyle, this Daniel person?”
James nodded. “I love him, Mother. It’s that simple. I love Daniel Bonafonte, and if he’ll have me with all the stupid things I’ve done, by god, I will follow him to the ends of the earth. I’ll stand beside him, proudly, and introduce him as my boyfriend.”
“But he dresses as a woman!”
“Those are just clothes, the trappings on the outside. I don’t care if Daniel wears men’s jeans and a T-shirt, a cocktail dress, or one of his theatrical gowns with enough sequins to blind half of Chicago. I love the man under the glitz, gowns, glamour, makeup, and fake tits. I will be proud of who he is because Daniel is the most wonderful person I know. But you don’t know him at all, and yet you’re willing to pass judgment.” It hit James hard that he had done the same thing.
“But a person like that…isn’t a real man. How can you…？” Her mouth was moving, but no more words came out.
“Daniel is more of a man than most of the guys I have ever met. He knows who he is, and the rest of us can be damned if we can’t accept that.” He sat back down and waited for his mom to do the same. Maybe it was time to really talk to one another instead of talking at each other. “I didn’t see that at first either. I just needed a date for the wedding to make you happy. But Daniel is so much more than I expected. My world has shifted, and it’s because of him. Mom, he showed me the path to myself. I know that’s hard to understand, but he did.”
She leaned forward. “I don’t know what’s real.”
James chuckled. “Sometimes I didn’t either, but all I have to do is look into Daniel’s eyes and I know what’s real, what’s solid. The person I fell in love with is the one under all the clothes. He’s the one who saved Holly’s wedding dress, and the one who made Holly happy with the service.” James glossed over the fact that his mother had been the cause of those problems in the first place. “He was the one who helped Howard comfort Holly when we found out about Reverend Fake.” James sighed. “I still don’t know what we’re going to do about an officiant, but I’m sure Daniel will be there to try to help. That’s the kind of person he is.”
His mom swallowed hard and her entire expression had grown softer. “What kind of life can you have?” She dabbed her eyes again.
“A good one, if he’ll have me. I don’t know if I’m what he wants or if this is just some sort of illusion brought on by close proximity. I’ll find out in time, I’m sure. That’s for me to figure out, and I will eventually. I don’t know what the future is going to hold, but I know that it will be a lot easier if my mom and dad try to understand.” James thought he might be getting through. “I don’t expect you to just change on a dime and suddenly have everything figured out. But at least I ask that you love me enough to believe me when I say that I’m not going to change and I can’t, not this. I have to be true to myself just like anyone else.” He sat still and waited for some sort of verdict from his mother. She dabbed her eyes again and nodded. James got up and hugged her tightly. “You don’t have to have all the answers, any more than I do. All you have to do is try.” James let her go and stepped back, intending to leave the room.