Totally and Completely Fine(59)

I nodded.

“Is that when you bought Lillian?” I asked. “When you booked SXS?”

“Lillian was my big splurge when I booked my first job back in the States. When I figured I’d be here for a while.” He gave me a once-over. “I’d offer to take you on a ride, but I don’t think you’re dressed for it.”

His eyes lingered on my tits. They did look spectacular in this dress.

I shifted in my seat. He took a step toward me.

“I should go,” I said.

I didn’t want to go.

“Mm-hmm,” Ben said.

And then he was kneeling in front of me, his hands on the legs of the chair.

“It’s late,” I said.

It didn’t feel late. And I certainly wasn’t tired.

“You know what?” he said.

He wasn’t touching me, but I felt his fingers all over my body. I wanted to close my eyes and sink into the sensation.

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t come to my apartment at ten o’clock at night to talk about my bike. Or my boots. Or my career.”

“I came to apologize,” I said.

“Which you already did,” he said.

“I just—I felt really bad about what I said.”

Ben shook his head, tsking slowly.

“I think you’re here for a completely different reason,” he said.

I swallowed hard.

“I think that you were on that date,” Ben said. “That you were having dinner with some guy—some boring, perfectly fine, completely average guy.”

“He was a jerk,” I said.

In fact, I’d completely forgotten about Carl. Had that date really been tonight?

Ben laughed, his hands moving inward, thumbs brushing the sides of my legs.

“You were with this guy, and you were thinking about something else.”

I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to touch me so badly.

“You’re right,” I said. “I was thinking about dessert.”

Ben’s grin was wolfish as he shook his head.

“Lauren, Lauren, Lauren,” he said. “We both know what you really want for dessert.”

This was the perfect opportunity to leave. To tell him once again that I was sorry, and that actually I hadn’t been thinking about him, I’d been thinking about the steak I’d been eating and the general nature of loneliness, but…

“Maybe,” I said.

My stomach flipped like a flapjack as his fingers traced the curve of my thighs. I sucked in a breath.

“Maybe?” Ben asked.

His voice.

God, it warmed me like whiskey.

“Maybe,” I said.

He didn’t say anything, and I opened my eyes. He was standing.

“Well,” he said. “I guess that’s that.”

I was stunned. He was stepping away?

But he’d been touching me. About to touch me.

I was confused. Hurt.

I rose, my knees trembling.

“It was nice seeing you, Lauren,” Ben said.

Suddenly it was clear.

“Yeah,” I said. “Nice seeing you.”

I was being punished. For what I’d said. Done.

Wincing, I forced my feet back into my heels and started the long hobble toward the door. As I reached it, I turned back to him.

“Sorry again,” I said.

I took a deep breath and turned the knob.

But just as I had pulled the door open, it was slammed shut. I looked up to find Ben’s hand flat on the wood.

I turned and found his eyes.

They were hungry. Eager. Hot.

“Tell me that you’ve been thinking about me,” he said. “The way I’ve been thinking about you.”

I remembered the last time he’d pressed me up against a door.

“Tell me that you’ve been thinking about kissing me. Touching me.”

My breathing was shallow, my pulse racing.

“Tell me you’ve been thinking of what I might do to these tits and that arse. The curve of your hip. The back of your neck. The inside of your knees,” he said. “All the places I could touch you to make you scream.”

I clenched my teeth together, feeling as if I might fall apart right then and there.

“Tell me.”

I looked up at him. Met his gaze.

“You know I have.”

“I want to hear it,” he said, voice nearly a growl.

I wanted him to touch me. To kiss me. To fuck me.

“I’ve been thinking about you, Ben,” I said.

His smile made my toes curl.

And I was eager to discover what he would do to the rest of me.

Chapter 33

Then

When Gabe became famous everything changed very quickly.

Lena was just about to turn three when the James Bond rumors started swirling around, and we first got a sense of what it would mean to Gabe’s career. To his life. To our lives.

Suddenly Gabe’s face was everywhere. Online, in magazines—popular enough that even our town, five years behind every trend, was aware of every movement, arc, and climb of Gabe’s rising star.

He’d just finished a movie with an actor named Oliver Matthias, and it seemed that they were becoming off-screen friends as well.