Totally and Completely Fine(85)

“Maybe you could give me a tour,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to wander around a bookshop after hours.”

We were painfully transparent, but it was also kind of fun, so I just kept playing along.

I’d only turned the lights on near the office, so I led him to the other side of the store, mostly in shadow.

“This is the crafts section,” I said.

I’d lowered my voice to a whisper. Even though I knew there was no way for the upstairs tenants—Gabe and Chani—to hear me, it still felt right.

“This is pretty,” Ben said, also in a whisper.

He was running his fingers over a skein of yarn, and I was imagining him running his fingers over me.

I moved a little closer to him.

“We have everything you need if you decide you want to take up knitting,” I said.

He glanced back at me, grin flashing in the dark.

“I might take you up on that,” he said. “If you’ll be the one teaching me.”

“I’m not a very good teacher,” I said.

“Mmm.” Ben turned to face me. “I don’t think that’s true.”

He put his hands on my hips.

“You’ve taught me lots of things.”

“Oh?”

He lowered his head, dropping a kiss on my neck.

“You’ve taught me what a pavlova is,” he said.

Another kiss, this time below my ear.

“You’ve taught me that cookbooks are best read before bed,” he said. “Especially the sweet ones.”

This kiss landed on my jaw, light as could be.

“You’ve taught me that you’re the kind of woman who goes after what she wants,” he said, and stepped back.

I looked at him, gorgeous in the shadows, his expression eager, his stance patient.

He wanted me to make the next move.

“There’s another place in the store I should show you,” I said.

He lifted an eyebrow, and I crooked a finger at him.

He followed.

“This is nice,” he said.

“These are the stacks,” I said. “It’s become quite the make-out spot lately.”

“Oh really?”

I smiled at him. “It’s completely hidden from view,” I said. “No one can see us.”

“Hmmm,” he said, and walked toward me.

I moved back until I hit one of the bookshelves. He was crowding me, but in the best possible way.

“I have a confession to make,” he said.

His voice was low, whispered.

“I’ve always had this fantasy about being in a library after hours.”

“This is a bookstore,” I said.

“I’m aware,” he said. “But I’m sure you can use your imagination. I know I can.”

He moved his hands from my hips to my wrists, gently pushing them back.

“You might want to hold on to something,” he said.

I gripped the shelves as he dropped to his knees.

His fingers were on my legs, pushing the hem of my dress upward.

“We might get caught,” I managed.

“Oh, I know,” Ben said, grinning up at me. “I have a feeling that’s part of your fantasy.”

I could barely breathe, let alone speak. If it hadn’t been a fantasy before, it certainly was now. Maybe I was a bit of a thrill seeker. Maybe I’d always been one.

“I—I—”

“Shhh,” Ben said. “You don’t need to say anything, except yes.”

He kissed the top of my thigh, and my head fell back against the shelf.

“Yes,” I said.

Chapter 46

Now

“You are glowing,” Chani said.

I’d stopped by the theatre to drop off the fingerless gloves and tell Ollie that I wasn’t going to be able to finish the scarf in time—expecting that I’d just see him and head back to the store. Instead, I arrived and found my whole family hanging out in the theatre. Lena and Eve were on the stage talking to Ben, my mom was unpacking lunches, and Gabe was following Chani like a lost puppy.

“Yeah,” Gabe said. “You look really happy, Lauren. What’s up?”

I knew I was smiling like a lunatic. I’d seen myself in the mirror that morning.

I couldn’t help it. Last night had been amazing. Ben had been amazing.

All of it had been amazing. More than I ever could have expected. It almost didn’t feel real.

Gabe lowered his voice, leaning toward me. “Are you drunk? High?”

I slapped his arm. “No!”

“She’s allowed to be happy,” Chani said.

“I guess,” Gabe said, but he didn’t stop staring at me suspiciously.

“I’m not drunk.”

“Sure,” he said.

I rolled my eyes at him. “Can you go get your director? I have to talk to him.”

“He’s backstage—you really want me to shlep all the way back there?” Gabe asked, and then looked immediately at Chani with an eager expression.

“That’s very good,” she said, patting him on the arm. “And the proper use of shlep.”

“Don’t do too much kvetching while I’m gone,” he said.